Starting Over
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Join Date: Aug 2014
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Starting Over
I haven’t posted in a long while. I was doing really well but then somehow convinced myself I could moderate and I did for a while. To be honest, I’m not drinking that much compared to how much I use to put away but the problem is I’m drinking every day. It’s “only” a bottle of wine a day at the moment but the reality is, it won’t be long until it’s a bottle of vodka. I want to stop drinking. Tomorrow will be my day 1. Wish me luck, BB2morrow x
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
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Good luck Franky.
If you're anything like me the bottle of wine will turn to a barrel and it's all over. *Even* a bottle of wine a day is too much. Statistically do damage over time I believe.
It doesn't take long for it to creep up on me. And then I start to believe a bottle of vodka is ok, on this occasion.
It never is.
I think if you're predicting it will move to a bottle of vodka, it will move to a bottle of vodka. Don't do it.
It's much better being sober. In every area. Make a grown woman cry.
If you're anything like me the bottle of wine will turn to a barrel and it's all over. *Even* a bottle of wine a day is too much. Statistically do damage over time I believe.
It doesn't take long for it to creep up on me. And then I start to believe a bottle of vodka is ok, on this occasion.
It never is.I think if you're predicting it will move to a bottle of vodka, it will move to a bottle of vodka. Don't do it.
It's much better being sober. In every area. Make a grown woman cry.
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Good to hear you're giving sobriety another chance, Franky. In the end it was never fun any more - misery always followed a 'good time'.
You're so right about your tolerance growing. I can't believe I was high on a can of beer when I first started out. In the end, 100 proof vodka barely did the trick. No more putting ourselves in danger - we want to live.
You're so right about your tolerance growing. I can't believe I was high on a can of beer when I first started out. In the end, 100 proof vodka barely did the trick. No more putting ourselves in danger - we want to live.
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Posts: 294
Originally Posted by Steely 
Good luck Franky.
If you're anything like me the bottle of wine will turn to a barrel and it's all over. *Even* a bottle of wine a day is too much. Statistically do damage over time I believe.
It doesn't take long for it to creep up on me. And then I start to believe a bottle of vodka is ok, on this occasion. It never is.
I think if you're predicting it will move to a bottle of vodka, it will move to a bottle of vodka. Don't do it.
It's much better being sober. In every area. Make a grown woman cry.
If you're anything like me the bottle of wine will turn to a barrel and it's all over. *Even* a bottle of wine a day is too much. Statistically do damage over time I believe.
It doesn't take long for it to creep up on me. And then I start to believe a bottle of vodka is ok, on this occasion.
It never is.I think if you're predicting it will move to a bottle of vodka, it will move to a bottle of vodka. Don't do it.
It's much better being sober. In every area. Make a grown woman cry.
So here is where the head work begins. So much of this is psychological. I just sighed at the thought of constantly having to be on guard from my own mind which seems intent on trying to kill me. 😂 A little dramatic I know but I’m feeling sorry for myself. Thanks again. Have a good day.
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Posts: 294
Originally Posted by Steely
Good luck Franky.
If you're anything like me the bottle of wine will turn to a barrel and it's all over. *Even* a bottle of wine a day is too much. Statistically do damage over time I believe.
It doesn't take long for it to creep up on me. And then I start to believe a bottle of vodka is ok, on this occasion. It never is.
I think if you're predicting it will move to a bottle of vodka, it will move to a bottle of vodka. Don't do it.
It's much better being sober. In every area. Make a grown woman cry.
If you're anything like me the bottle of wine will turn to a barrel and it's all over. *Even* a bottle of wine a day is too much. Statistically do damage over time I believe.
It doesn't take long for it to creep up on me. And then I start to believe a bottle of vodka is ok, on this occasion.
It never is.I think if you're predicting it will move to a bottle of vodka, it will move to a bottle of vodka. Don't do it.
It's much better being sober. In every area. Make a grown woman cry.
So here is where the head work begins. So much of this is psychological. I just sighed at the thought of having to constantly be on guard from my own mind because it seems intent on trying to kill me. 😂 A little dramatic I know but I’m feeling sorry for myself. Thanks again. Have a good day.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
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Originally Posted by Hevyn
Good to hear you're giving sobriety another chance, Franky. In the end it was never fun any more - misery always followed a 'good time'.
You're so right about your tolerance growing. I can't believe I was high on a can of beer when I first started out. In the end, 100 proof vodka barely did the trick. No more putting ourselves in danger - we want to live.
You're so right about your tolerance growing. I can't believe I was high on a can of beer when I first started out. In the end, 100 proof vodka barely did the trick. No more putting ourselves in danger - we want to live.
Yes, that’s exactly it, we want to live and live well at that!
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Originally Posted by Anna
Welcome back Franky, and I hope to see you here tomorrow for your Day 1. 
I’m not feeling great today to be honest - my daughter and I had a really bad reaction to the Covid vaccine, we were really very ill which is strange bc we both have had Covid (I’ve actually had it twice) and despite the fact I was hospitalised the first time I had it I was never as ill as I was after the vaccine. It seemed to be attacking our kidneys so we now have to do some tests. Hope everyone is having a good day
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Join Date: Nov 2018
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Franky,
There is more than one relapse scenario. Yours seems to be seeking success through moderation. You go from months of sobriety to believing you can moderate, so you try it, and "wa-laa", it works! Nothing builds confidence like success, so you try it some more, but it always ends up with you drinking to excess. The problem begins with you believing you can moderate. Eventually, it's an experiment to see if you can.
I'm going to tell you a secret. It doesn't work in the long term. If you've been around here much, you've been told that hundreds of times by hundreds of recovering alcoholics. Why don't you want to believe it? It doesn't really matter. It's a fact, and you can't change it. Maybe if you try to believe it really hard, it will become true, but that only works if you're Peter Pan and living in a fairytale.
To break the cycle of addiction, any addiction you can think of, you must quit, and you won't need whatever you were addicted to anymore. You have mastered phase 1, the cravings, but having done that, you have to learn to master phase 2, the head games. You break that cycle of your addiction the same way. You quit playing head games, and they go away like the cravings, although it's harder in some ways, because the head game phase tends to last a lot longer. Here you have to put actual knowledge together with choice, and choose to ignore the head games. Will power is not what is needed here. I depends more on your willingness to reason and avoid the obviously bad choices.
It's good you are back. Now do this thing.
There is more than one relapse scenario. Yours seems to be seeking success through moderation. You go from months of sobriety to believing you can moderate, so you try it, and "wa-laa", it works! Nothing builds confidence like success, so you try it some more, but it always ends up with you drinking to excess. The problem begins with you believing you can moderate. Eventually, it's an experiment to see if you can.
I'm going to tell you a secret. It doesn't work in the long term. If you've been around here much, you've been told that hundreds of times by hundreds of recovering alcoholics. Why don't you want to believe it? It doesn't really matter. It's a fact, and you can't change it. Maybe if you try to believe it really hard, it will become true, but that only works if you're Peter Pan and living in a fairytale.
To break the cycle of addiction, any addiction you can think of, you must quit, and you won't need whatever you were addicted to anymore. You have mastered phase 1, the cravings, but having done that, you have to learn to master phase 2, the head games. You break that cycle of your addiction the same way. You quit playing head games, and they go away like the cravings, although it's harder in some ways, because the head game phase tends to last a lot longer. Here you have to put actual knowledge together with choice, and choose to ignore the head games. Will power is not what is needed here. I depends more on your willingness to reason and avoid the obviously bad choices.
It's good you are back. Now do this thing.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 294
Originally Posted by DriGuy
Franky,
There is more than one relapse scenario. Yours seems to be seeking success through moderation. You go from months of sobriety to believing you can moderate, so you try it, and "wa-laa", it works! Nothing builds confidence like success, so you try it some more, but it always ends up with you drinking to excess. The problem begins with you believing you can moderate. Eventually, it's an experiment to see if you can.
I'm going to tell you a secret. It doesn't work in the long term. If you've been around here much, you've been told that hundreds of times by hundreds of recovering alcoholics. Why don't you want to believe it? It doesn't really matter. It's a fact, and you can't change it. Maybe if you try to believe it really hard, it will become true, but that only works if you're Peter Pan and living in a fairytale.
To break the cycle of addiction, any addiction you can think of, you must quit, and you won't need whatever you were addicted to anymore. You have mastered phase 1, the cravings, but having done that, you have to learn to master phase 2, the head games. You break that cycle of your addiction the same way. You quit playing head games, and they go away like the cravings, although it's harder in some ways, because the head game phase tends to last a lot longer. Here you have to put actual knowledge together with choice, and choose to ignore the head games. Will power is not what is needed here. I depends more on your willingness to reason and avoid the obviously bad choices.
It's good you are back. Now do this thing.
There is more than one relapse scenario. Yours seems to be seeking success through moderation. You go from months of sobriety to believing you can moderate, so you try it, and "wa-laa", it works! Nothing builds confidence like success, so you try it some more, but it always ends up with you drinking to excess. The problem begins with you believing you can moderate. Eventually, it's an experiment to see if you can.
I'm going to tell you a secret. It doesn't work in the long term. If you've been around here much, you've been told that hundreds of times by hundreds of recovering alcoholics. Why don't you want to believe it? It doesn't really matter. It's a fact, and you can't change it. Maybe if you try to believe it really hard, it will become true, but that only works if you're Peter Pan and living in a fairytale.
To break the cycle of addiction, any addiction you can think of, you must quit, and you won't need whatever you were addicted to anymore. You have mastered phase 1, the cravings, but having done that, you have to learn to master phase 2, the head games. You break that cycle of your addiction the same way. You quit playing head games, and they go away like the cravings, although it's harder in some ways, because the head game phase tends to last a lot longer. Here you have to put actual knowledge together with choice, and choose to ignore the head games. Will power is not what is needed here. I depends more on your willingness to reason and avoid the obviously bad choices.
It's good you are back. Now do this thing.
Its strange because I’d probably be the first to tell someone else that moderation doesn’t work but when it comes to understanding it for myself I seem to switch off. I don’t even seem to be aware that I’m trying to moderate if that makes sense? What I am aware of is the fact the amounts I’m drinking are increasing. How the bottle is finished much earlier in the evening and I am not opposed to a sneaky one at breakfast, just to start the day of course. 🙄
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 3,502
Welcome back Franky and good luck. I learned a long time ago that I can't moderate my drinking. Sooner or later (usually sooner) I would revert back to my old drinking habit. You realise that this is likely to be the same for you so abstinence is a wise choice. All the best.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I'll just add my voice to the list of those for whom, "Hey, look, I can have one or two! Yay! I've learned," is a dangerous slippery slope.
I've done it, so have probably everyone who tried to drink like a normal person. It may work for a month or two...but soon it is out of control again.
The drink hates those who love it most.
Let it go.
It's way better on the Never Drinking Again side.
I've done it, so have probably everyone who tried to drink like a normal person. It may work for a month or two...but soon it is out of control again.
The drink hates those who love it most.
Let it go.
It's way better on the Never Drinking Again side.
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Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
It is a sign of our disease that we even use the terms "moderation" and "only one bottle of wine" in the same thread. I know I don't need to tell you FTF that a bottle of wine per day is a VERY dangerous amount of alcohol. You know that or you wouldn't be here. Our nag-headed heads, right?? You are here with us now and should stay here.
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,154
Originally Posted by Funtimefranky
Thanks Driguy
Its strange because I’d probably be the first to tell someone else that moderation doesn’t work but when it comes to understanding it for myself I seem to switch off. I don’t even seem to be aware that I’m trying to moderate if that makes sense? 🙄
Its strange because I’d probably be the first to tell someone else that moderation doesn’t work but when it comes to understanding it for myself I seem to switch off. I don’t even seem to be aware that I’m trying to moderate if that makes sense? 🙄
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