CBS62

I have been sober 95 days. Many of you have seen my previous posts but just to catch you up and summarize for those who have not read my threads.... I have been suffering from dizziness(rocking sensation and balance issues), numbness and tingling, body tremor, anxiety, insomnia, lack of appetite, clumsiness. It has not improved. I have been to lots of doctors and had lots of tests and they can't find anything. But I am still terrified that there is something wrong with me besides PAWS or central nervous system resetting as some of my doctors and therapists have said. I feel like I am going crazy. I also have nystagmus(involuntary eye movements) that have gotten worse. It can be from alcohol abuse, a side effect of Gabapentin that I am on or an MS symptom. A lot of my symptoms are MS symptoms but could also be anxiety or PAWS. I am so worked up about it. But the neurologist is pretty confident I don't have MS based on my brain MRI. However, MS is hard to diagnose. The worst thing is the dizziness that is so persistent so I have have a hard time not thinking about it. Thanks for letting me vent. Trying so hard to be positive but failing miserably.

D122y

I had spatial disorientation, not dizziness, for about 4 years after I quit. I didn't take any RX meds for it. I just suffered.

What worked for me is not the right answer for everyone, but at least you know you are not alone.

I didn't reach out to SR until I was 3 months clean, sort of like you.

If you are taking meds, I am not going to say get off them because if I stop taking my lisinopril for my bp, I feel pretty crazy.

So, if anything, maybe try to stick with the same med for a while to see if your mental issues will settle down.

I like to say that I didn't really get better, I got used to being messed up, and then I got better.

Ever heard of the study where a person wore glasses that turned everything upside down. After a while, the brain adapted.

Same thing with me.

I had other basically insane issues but I handled them without a Dr. That is not the most correct answer though. What worked for me might hurt you.

Suffering and time was what worked for me, but again that is just my experience.

Thanks.

Mizz

I am so sorry for what you are going through.

Its not helpful when we don't have answers. It is real scary to be honest. I do think that it is safe to say that you will need to find a way to calm yourself and stay present. I know that is hard to do but the anxiety only leads to more anxiety and then its just a storm. I dont know what it is like to be dizzy all the time. It has got to be awful.

I have been gifted, by this forum, with a lot of tools and I will gladly share a few with you in regards to anxiety....

Box Breathing. You can look it up online. Its very helpful to ease anxiety. (Thanks, BB)

Ignore. When I get fixated on something and I don't have answers, I ignore it. Its a button in my brain that I visualize and press. I say I am not going there now. I can go there later but right now, IGNORE. It really does seem to help with worry. (Thanks, Driguy)

Also, allow yourself to be in whatever space you are in. Its okay. Give yourself a few minutes of the negative. Its not going to hurt anyone. Then find some space for the positive. If none of the above is helpful and misses your point....I am sorry. I am sending you all the healing vibes I can!

iAmSam

I take gabapentin and if will definitely cause me to have dizziness you described.
I've taken the same dose for approx. 4 years and will still have days when it makes me
feel dizzy, wobbly and I can "tip over" as my brain feels out of whack. High fat, high sugar
meal taken with my meds will often produce that feeling so I'm careful about what
I eat if I'm taking the med with food.

I know alcohol and benzodiazepines both effect same gaba receptors in the brain. Some people
who get sober from alcohol are the small unlucky group that has the same problems people
that have stopped benzos have. It can take quite a long time for the damage to be reversed.
Some at around the time you have now and some people I've seen it take a year or two.... or more.
Terrible stuff.

Congrats on 90 days! That's certainly a huge accomplishment!

Steely

Sounds like PAWS to me. But I'm not a doctor.

Lots of people with PAWS think they have MS as symptoms look similar.

It will resolve with Time.

Dee74

Hi CBS

Although my anxiety manifested itself as shortness of breath and chest pains, the health anxiety was real and crippling some days.

I found it really difficult to believe there was not much wrong with me.
I felt for sure, with how I drank, and for how long, I should be weeks from death.

I had to accept eventually that I should forgive myself and start living life with the second chance I'd been given.

If you cannot bring yourself to trust your various Doctors and their disagnoses then then there's nothing for it - you owe it to yourself to see some more doctors - not Dr Google - but real life doctors.

If on the other hand if you can accept that maybe this is an anxiety issue, why not talk to a professional about that?

D

stickyone

I ain't no doctor but from gabapentin I had all kinds of side effects. And I a was only taking the doctor recommended dose. And I was taking 50-100 mg of hydrocodone daily. Gabapentin made me feel like a zombie and weird. But that's my experience check with your doctor.

CBS62

Thanks everyone for the input. I am seeing an anxiety specialist. Also the dizziness started before I went on the gabapentin. The gabapentin maybe makes it a little worse. I’m taking gabapentin for my appetite and sleep and anxiety. Thinking about going off of it and possibly starting on an anti-anxiety antidepressant medication.

ScottFromWI

I have struggled with health anxiety and GAD for many years, most notably in the year or 2 after I first quit drinking. I was too stubborn at the time to even accept that it might have been a mental heath issue and did not seek any kind of treatment. I had a lot of problems with balance, dizziness, and basically worry about any little twinge or twitch that I would feel in my body - most of them snowballed into episodes of self diagnosis and spiraling worry/symptom checking, etc. I literally used to check my blood pressure and pulse compulsively dozens of times a day, i even started testing my blood sugar multiple times a day because I thought my worries might somehow be related to that.

The solution for me was multi-faceted. Time was certainly a factor - but I explored mindfulness and meditation, counseling, exercise and diet modification ( cutting out a lot of sugar and caffeine ), reading, getting adequate sleep etc. It took time but my situation has improved greatly.

95 days is a great accomplishment, but it's also relatively early in the process too - so it's OK to cut yourself some slack and understand that it takes time for things to heal. The repeated cycles of drinking and quitting over a long time literally rewire our neural pathways, and we need practice to get them back to normal. Remember that alcohol is a very powerful central nervous system depressant...and it has long lasting effects just like any other drug would.

The best thing I learned in my struggles is that anxiety is a normal, necessary part of everyone's life - it's necessary for our survival actually. Those of us who have issues with it just let things go a little too far. And we are very adaptable...and can learn to bring it back to a more normal level.

CBS62

D122y can you explain what the spatial disorientation is like?

CBS62

Anna

95 days of recovery is great.

Have you tried meditating? I think you'd be surprised how much of an effect anxiety can have on your body. Meditation can become a tool that helps you to manage anxiety and to feel more calm. You can always check out Youtube videos. I'd highly recommend Jon Kabat-Zinn.

biminiblue

Yeah, on the meditation. The "Headspace" ones on YouTube are short and helpful.

CB, what we've been saying to you all along is that you are torturing your own self by allowing this anxiety-thought-cycle to continue.

Every time you feel it or think it, try changing that thought to a positive.

I have a whole bunch of affirmative statements, prayers, and pretty pictures on my phone. When I get into a thought circle or start becoming anxious I switch to one of those. Even an adult coloring book or online jigsaw puzzles are really good for interrupting that incessant chatter.

You CAN change what you think about. It does take some practice. The first step is understanding that you're doing it, recognizing it when you do, and then interrupting the spiral.

D122y

Dizzy is what happens when I spin around and around and then stop. The world spins for a few seconds after.

For me, spatial disorientation is...

Inability to assess distances like walking up/down stairs (had to use a rail).

Difficulty walking in the dark/at night.

Difficulty driving (stepping on the brakes too hard), driving too slow, afraid of the freeway. I often had to drive on a 2 lane highway and I would be driving so slow (like a very poor driver).

So driving at night was terrible. I had to do this for my job. Sometimes I would drive 10 mph below the speed limit.

My driving was described as paranoid by my Dad and son.

I still have trouble standing on one foot for a long time.

I could not catch a baseball very well.

Standing for a long time was extremely difficult. I needed to lean on something. I would wobble otherwise.

Turning my head quickly would scare me.

The world moved too fast, lights were too bright, shadows scared me.

That was my hell on earth for about 3 years. It got better and better. The deal for me was, since all this stuff scared me, I would get adrenaline shots from my brain. Fight or flight. This would increase my heart rate and make me sweat.

So, the brain damage from my drinking healed, but the healing involved stressful feelings. These feelings caused a form of PTSD. I would stress thinking I was going to have to stand up soon or drive.

My personal hell. A form of hell on earth.

I am 99% better now. Yay! I try to pay it back here when I have a chance. This place saved my life.

Eating clean and jogging helped a bunch.

The main thing was clean time.

Hope this helps you.

Thanks for the therapy.

CBS62

Thanks for sharing that D122y. I really appreciate it. So glad you are 99% better! It helps me a lot to hear that others had or have lots of weird symptoms. It is amazing to me what the brain and body do when what we consume changes. I hope that my brain heals with time. This has been a tough journey for me so far. I started having weird stuff happen as I began tapering down my consumption of wine in September.

OverthePanic

D122y, I have had some of the same symptoms you describe here especially when driving after a binge, it could go on for weeks..I put it down to really bad anxiety from the alchohol, but I also started having panic attacks in the car over it, which made it worse..especially the freeways .also had the adrenaline rushes in the height of my anxiety and panic attacks.. you can feel the adrenaline rush the heat and pins and needles type feelings..just awful..hoping to never have to go through it again

MeSober77

Hi Cbs62, I can't give you instant healing but I give you courage to hang on!

advbike

CBS I think you're doing amazing, considering all you have had to deal with.

Exercise was always the way to reset for me but I realize it may be difficult with what you're experiencing.

Just walk, or even do floor exercises if you have to (so there's no risk of falling).

CBS62

I have always used exercise as therapy for my anxiety and depression. I can walk okay but it just feels really strange, like I am walking on a dock or in an earthquake. Fortunately, I am very coordinated and have been an athlete all my life so I am managing so far. I really miss tennis but I am afraid I would fall playing right now.