Hey Anxious Rock
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 1,598
AR, my recovery journey has been a 100% unadulterated **** show. I used to make jokes, that turned out to be very poorly received, about how my sponsor and I had a name for people that realized they had a drinking problem and then got sober right away...”a-holes.” I don’t really think they are a-holes. In fact God bless them and I’m envious of them, but that is not my experience and not my journey. And it is not yours. Some of us have to keep digging deep, keep failing, keep struggling, keep learning and growing. It’s the hardest fight of my life. And I fail a lot.
But something my friend and old sponsor used to say has stuck with me. After I’d drink I would be SO LOW on myself. I was filled with shame and regret. He would say, “be kind to Be a Better Man”, or “are you being kind to my friend Be a Better Man?” Guilt and shame and regret and all that negative talk we tell ourself is not helpful. We are naturally hard on ourselves and our esteem low. You have made progress. Look honestly at where you’ve grown and build on it. But get someone sober into your loop. Someone who can help us recognize our own BS. This is not a fight you want to wage alone IMO. So be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself. You have an illness. You are not bad or defective. Left to our own devices, an alcoholic will always drink. You are not unique. That’s why we look outside of ourselves for the solution.
But something my friend and old sponsor used to say has stuck with me. After I’d drink I would be SO LOW on myself. I was filled with shame and regret. He would say, “be kind to Be a Better Man”, or “are you being kind to my friend Be a Better Man?” Guilt and shame and regret and all that negative talk we tell ourself is not helpful. We are naturally hard on ourselves and our esteem low. You have made progress. Look honestly at where you’ve grown and build on it. But get someone sober into your loop. Someone who can help us recognize our own BS. This is not a fight you want to wage alone IMO. So be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself. You have an illness. You are not bad or defective. Left to our own devices, an alcoholic will always drink. You are not unique. That’s why we look outside of ourselves for the solution.
Samantha
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 2,031
Originally Posted by BeABetterMan 
AR, my recovery journey has been a 100% unadulterated **** show. I used to make jokes, that turned out to be very poorly received, about how my sponsor and I had a name for people that realized they had a drinking problem and then got sober right away...”a-holes.” I don’t really think they are a-holes. In fact God bless them and I’m envious of them, but that is not my experience and not my journey. And it is not yours. Some of us have to keep digging deep, keep failing, keep struggling, keep learning and growing. It’s the hardest fight of my life. And I fail a lot.
But something my friend and old sponsor used to say has stuck with me. After I’d drink I would be SO LOW on myself. I was filled with shame and regret. He would say, “be kind to Be a Better Man”, or “are you being kind to my friend Be a Better Man?” Guilt and shame and regret and all that negative talk we tell ourself is not helpful. We are naturally hard on ourselves and our esteem low. You have made progress. Look honestly at where you’ve grown and build on it. But get someone sober into your loop. Someone who can help us recognize our own BS. This is not a fight you want to wage alone IMO. So be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself. You have an illness. You are not bad or defective. Left to our own devices, an alcoholic will always drink. You are not unique. That’s why we look outside of ourselves for the solution.
But something my friend and old sponsor used to say has stuck with me. After I’d drink I would be SO LOW on myself. I was filled with shame and regret. He would say, “be kind to Be a Better Man”, or “are you being kind to my friend Be a Better Man?” Guilt and shame and regret and all that negative talk we tell ourself is not helpful. We are naturally hard on ourselves and our esteem low. You have made progress. Look honestly at where you’ve grown and build on it. But get someone sober into your loop. Someone who can help us recognize our own BS. This is not a fight you want to wage alone IMO. So be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself. You have an illness. You are not bad or defective. Left to our own devices, an alcoholic will always drink. You are not unique. That’s why we look outside of ourselves for the solution.
all I've been doing all day is eating. I feel awful.
I cant believe I drank for over 24hrs straight. I need a shower, and sleep!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2020
Posts: 1,189
Hey AR 
don't be so hard on yourself. Congrats on the 2 and 1/2 months sober. Congrats on coming back after drinking. Sometimes the journey has some turns in the road. The shame will pass. You'll feel better after some water and sleep. Hang in there!
don't be so hard on yourself. Congrats on the 2 and 1/2 months sober. Congrats on coming back after drinking. Sometimes the journey has some turns in the road. The shame will pass. You'll feel better after some water and sleep. Hang in there!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 1,737
AR, cut yourself some slack. Yes, you drank... but you're back. As to that person who won't talk to you, I suspect that works in your favor. If you never forget what that 24 hours was like, it will serve you well. Every person with long term sobriety has said "never again" at some point in their drinking careers, and at some point they came to the place where they actually made it stick. We all do this sobriety thing every day - it's the only way we stay sober, and for me some days all I could manage was going one hour at a time.
Look forward, not back. Surround yourself with people who support your sobriety & feed you spiritually. Your sobriety makes a difference, hang in there - you can do this!
Look forward, not back. Surround yourself with people who support your sobriety & feed you spiritually. Your sobriety makes a difference, hang in there - you can do this!
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