least

Just remember, if you never again drink alcohol, you'll never have to go thru a miserable withdrawal again.

Sammy1980

I got through the early days by walking every time I wanted a drink in the afternoon even if it took 2 hours. I didn't walk fast I just walked. It helped a lot and now I walk because I love it so much. You can do this.

RAL

HI Jewel and welcome back. You can do this. Stick close to SR. I second what Erica says about zoom meetings.I do SMART meetings with my mic and camera off but seeing other people in the same position and stories of success are very positive and inspiring.

FreeOwl

YOU ARE NOT HOPELESS

And life... life is a beautiful, cherished gift. You'll see.

Embrace sobriety!!!!!

You can do this.

Dropsie

Hey Jewel,

So glad to see you back, but sorry for your struggles.

It is tough, but you are tougher as I recall.

How are you today?

Boggle10

I maybe don't post much, but I'm here everyday, day one is hard, it's the not knowing what to do with yourself, but as I always tell myself there's still no answers at the bottom of the bottle, I'm glad I got through my day one, and so far I'm doing well, I was like you I put it on my husbands shoulders, don't let me drink today, and as Dee said I got mad when they said no, and I got mad when they said yes, do this for you just you, I wish you all the best x

Jewel72

Thank you, all.
On to day 2. Rough sleep last night but I’m not self-loathing this morning, so that’s ok. Still felt shaky with heart palpitations throughout the night, but I do feel better already this morning.

I will not drink today. The plan is church this morning, lunch with family at home, nap, and go for a long walk. I will not leave the house (there is no alcohol in home). Staying close to SR. Thanks for letting me journal here these first few days.

biminiblue

Just a few more days of feeling awful, Jewel.






You never have to feel like this again. I use those horrible early days of sobriety as a very good reminder of a very bad time.

Obladi

Hi Jewel,

Welcome to Day 2! It is rough in the early days, but I promise you that it does get better.
It's fantastic that you have a plan for each day; keep on doing that.

O

DriGuy

I'm happy your husband didn't let you wait until Monday. Right now, you've got some of the insane craving part out of the way. One reason I had for not drinking again early on was because I never wanted to go through this part again. But now, I never want to drink again because I feel too good to even consider it. You are experiencing in my mind what is the worst part of the recovery process, and when I went through it, it felt like I was looking at a lifetime of hopeless failure in front of me. But it doesn't last and passes surprisingly fast. Next, you will have to learn to deal with silly mind games. You will feel like you are strong and powerful enough to whip this puppy anytime you want and be temped to drink again. Lots of people stumble at this point. It's a mirage that disguises reality. Watch for it and don't fall for it. It takes you back to the start.

Sobriety is for life. That may seem overwhelming right now, but it won't after you discover the joy and confidence sobriety brings. The bottom line is that sobriety is the better life, and today's struggle will be a thing of the past. I look back at my past and often wonder if I was really that person struggling so hard with a life centered around alcoholism. I hardly recognize myself back then.

Jewel72

I’m thankful for all your replies.
Unfortunately, I just left the house and bought wine (my husband was still napping). The anxiety and restless feeling was so strong; I gave in to the easiest way I know to handle it. I’m sorry. My brain chatter is too much at times. I’m not entirely surprised though since I haven’t been able to make it passed day 2 since November. Pretty sad, but the claws dig deeper and deeper every time I go back.

driguy, I’m going to reread you reply a few times. You are so right and I long to be on the other side of this.

The worst thing I can do is to crawl away from SR and hide, but I’m going to keep posting and not give up.

Mizz

You can get through this moment and not drink.
Quitting starts when you sit through the craving and get through the funk. That is when the real work begins.
Encouraging you to dump the wine.

venuscat

JeweI honey ~ I know you have aIready taIked about this, but this just cannot have anything to do with your husband's permission or Iack of. s
It has to be you.

And so today did not quite work, and now I think you need something eIse for tomorrow. A way of getting through the afternoon sober as weII as the next one. A detaiIed pIan. IncIuding texting and even taIking to SR/sober friends and perhaps your pastor's wife again? Maybe even a pIan with your GP.

We aII are with you Iove. s xx ❤️❤️

Pondlady

Dump the wine. Drink lots of water, get some rest and make a plan for what you are going to do next time the urge strikes and you want to leave the house to buy wine.

NewCreature

It is a war for sure. Thanks for posting your struggle. It encourages me to keep going on. This community may be smaller than what you remember, but, there are people here. I am on like day 4, and i make myself come here for fuel for the battle.
Keep it up!

Dee74

is inpatient rehab a possibility at all Jewel?

D

Pondlady

Jewel, How are you today ?

BeABetterMan

I have drank because of early sobriety anxiety before. Not the end of the world.

And I might get blasted for this...but are you really serious about sobriety? If so, your husband will have almost nothing to do with it. He can’t keep you from leaving, or stop you from buying. You will have to work a program of recovery. Every person that has ever in their life got sober had to have a program or a plan.

So what is your program?

Mine is attending 2-5 AA meetings a week. Speaking with my sponsor or other sober people. Prayer. Medication. Exercise. And walking in dry places.

If you’re serious, tell us about your program. Simply wanting to quit has never been enough for drunks like me.

ravens99

I definitely second the idea that your husband has no control over your sobriety. You cannot outsource that control to another person, rather - surrendering it to the Universe/God/higher power will ensure you're supported completely (the Universe/God/higher power never sleeps and is always there for you with open arms to support your sobriety). Perhaps even SR is a little part of this higher power, the hive mind of love, support and welcoming acceptance.

However, moving forward, I for one need to do the things that don't work, in order to follow the things that do. I believe you can do this too. We all can. Because there is one direction towards feeling better and moving towards the light/love and this is it. It's really that simple.

I am no expert in quitting, but I do feel the universal love and support that is there for all of us, more than enough for all of us, and I'm sending you these warm vibes in your direction to gently push you back on your path of freedom.

Just an addit at the end - I had to address my hypoglycaemia before I could successfully even think about quitting alcohol. Honestly this has helped me tremendously this time around. In all honesty with all of my addictions (i.e. addictive thinking/etc etc). I now follow a hypoglycaemic diet plan roughly, and it has helped reduce the shakiness etc. I only comment this because it's helped me so much and I don't want anyone who may benefit from it to not consider it too (and work with a medical professional obviously with it).

Steely

Hope you're ok Jewel.

It's a losing battle, drinking.

I was set free when I stopped fighting it.