MantaLady

I had 18 months sober. Lately been on and off drinking and ruining everything for myself (again!). Just don’t know how to get back to working it out. So done with COViD, I really need to get out and speak with people etc. Not even sure what I am asking here but I am ruining my
life all over again. X I do want to be sober, I really really do!

Dee74

what kinds of things have you been doing to stay sober Manta?

D

MantaLady

Not a lot to be fair Dee. I am feeling so trapped being home alone for over a year now so the normal things I would do when things get tough I just can’t do due to the rules. None of my being home ways of coping are working anymore

Libby06

This has been a difficult time Manta. I also relapsed at 18 months sober a few years back, and it was awful. But the good news is, you have done it before and you can do it again. Some of us try to beat the game one last time before realizing nothing has changed, and then we know better.

Can you do what you did before? Maybe try some zoom meetings and commit to posting here? Their is light at the end of the tunnel! One minute at a time, don't drink.

advbike

Welcome!

The same thing happened to me after 3 years of sobriety.. I got away from SR, became complacent, got all wound up in some personal life stuff - the next thing you know I had a couple of glasses of wine while on vacation. Then a couple more a few days later.. next thing you know I was back on the on and off cycle. For THREE years.. Drinking almost daily, then quit for a a month or two..then back into it.

I finally had to come back here to SR last November to make it stick. This place works miracles, but you have to stay active in my experience. It's the community, the daily reminder, and the process of helping others that keeps me from becoming complacent. And of course not giving the AV "a seat at the table" so to speak. Once I start debating my AV it becomes a lost cause. I have to shut it down immediately when it send me drinking thoughts and images.

Mizz

This pandemic is something, ya?
On a positive note, you do know how to get sober and stay sober. You have done it before. One day at a time. I do hope you stick around. We are here for you.

least

The best two bits of advice I got here in my early recovery was; 1, I had to want to be sober more than I wanted to drink, and 2, I started practicing gratitude every day. Those two things got and kept me sober for over 11 yrs now, and I used to be a chronic relapser. If I can do it, so can you!

Dee74

I know you’re smart and resourceful cos I’ve seen you be both.

It’s tempting to throw up our hands and say COVIDanc keep drinking...but I really believe you deserve better than that ML - especially from yourself?

COVID is a challenge but not an insurmountable one. Tweak the things that worked before that you can still do, and work out ways to replace the things you can’t. If you need help doing that, ask

D

MidnightBlue

How are you today, Manta?

Surrendered19

Hi Manta. You can do this. You know what to do.

Our AV's have loved COVID, haven't they? I've been sober 16 months and my AV routinely points out to me that I could go on a bender and nobody would know. Of course my AV fails to tell me that I might die a low, awful pathetic death, but my dirty AV always omits the important details.

I hope today you can leave that behind. I know you can do it.

biminiblue

Just start, lovely.

Can you go to bed tonight without a drink?

Throw it all away. Change your sheets, wear clean clothes. Do the dishes. Just start.

Fusion

Manta, I believe that you can stay sober again, I believe you want to be sober. I also believe there's a part of your brain that wants to drink, because it learnt in the past that alcohol 'helps', and that part never forgets and offers it as a solution. (I call it AV).....even after YOU realised that alcohol doesn't 'help' and you don't want it.

So perhaps a question is, how can you, the MantaLady who doesn't want to drink - ignore/not act upon that part of your brain (AV) that calls for a drink, that will never catchup, because it's the same part of the brain that learns how to ride a bike....the echo of the past will remain.

I remember reading your posts during the 18 month sobriety, and they were pretty awesome, displaying and passing on tools and strategies that clearly worked! YOU can stop again! And soon, you'll also be able to socialise too, but the not-drinking, can start now!

MantaLady

Tatsy! Thanks so much for reminding me sober I am a pretty ok person. Everything you said nails it for me. Xx

MantaLady

MB, I am ok and trying! Thanks for checking xx