Day 7 - money worries .. but clear head to sort them out
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 870
Day 7 - money worries .. but clear head to sort them out
Day 7 and I was horrified when I looked at my bank balance and some upcoming payments I can’t cover. My son coercively relieved my of £1000s but now I have the Court order that has stopped Thank God. In periods when I drink , I throw caution to the wind and buy £20 bottles of wine and order expensive takeaways. However, that has stopped too. I took things in hand this morning and can see a way out of it IF I keep a clear head a and work hard ( I am self-employed so my income depends on me ... and, well I depended on me now leaving the booze behind). It is actually quite simple if you look at it that way !
Member
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 527
Perhaps relevant (from the Big Book):
God bless!
Although financial recovery is on the way for many of us, we found we could not place money first. For us, material well-being always followed spiritual progress; it never preceded.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
I do hope you are looking into "tools" for your emotional and mental well being in regards to the relationship you have had with your son. There is much more going on there than his manipulation and coercive behavior.
Keep moving forward with sobriety and getting clarity of mind. You can do this!
Keep moving forward with sobriety and getting clarity of mind. You can do this!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 870
Thank you Mizz and BB. Yes I realise that.. we were having therapy but my son dropped out telling me and the therapist we could both go and f@£& ourselves .l but I continue to have the sessions by myself last
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Good, keep going to the therapist.
Part of both of your problems is how enmeshed you are. You are a separate person, not joined at the hip. He's an adult child trying to find his own way in the world after having grown up with an alcoholic mother.
When I first got out of the house I wanted nothing to do with my mother. I mean, part of that is the Natural Order of Things but a big part of it was how intrusive I thought my mother was. She wanted to control even how I thought. She had a lot of criticism for me. The way I dealt with her once I was 18 was to move out and stay as far away from her as I could. The very first sign of her judgement during a phone call or visit and I was gone. That was the only way I could stay on an even keel and build my own life.
It's part of separation from the Family of Origin and it happens to us all - but it's even more dramatic and difficult when one or both have mental health, codependency, and/or addiction issues.
Part of both of your problems is how enmeshed you are. You are a separate person, not joined at the hip. He's an adult child trying to find his own way in the world after having grown up with an alcoholic mother.
When I first got out of the house I wanted nothing to do with my mother. I mean, part of that is the Natural Order of Things but a big part of it was how intrusive I thought my mother was. She wanted to control even how I thought. She had a lot of criticism for me. The way I dealt with her once I was 18 was to move out and stay as far away from her as I could. The very first sign of her judgement during a phone call or visit and I was gone. That was the only way I could stay on an even keel and build my own life.
It's part of separation from the Family of Origin and it happens to us all - but it's even more dramatic and difficult when one or both have mental health, codependency, and/or addiction issues.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
