Dimka

Once i start, i cannot stop. I will go to AA meeting tomorrow night. I think need a sponsor, someone who's been there, who knows the struggle and someone who can help me cause i cannot stay away from alcohol

biminiblue

Good idea going to a meeting.

I'm going to challenge you on your statement though...you CAN stay away from alcohol. Just takes commitment, practice and focus.

Keep posting. Welcome.

Dimka

thank you. how long have you been sover?

D122y

I can relate. Until I had fairly major mental and physical damage, the addiction to booze was too strong.

I feel extra for folks that need/want to quit drinking but don't have the mental/physical hell on earth to give them a scary reason to quit and stay quit.

The damage booze does to our mind and body is insidious. The physical seemed to mostly return, but the mental is another story. I didn't heal as much as I got used to what was left of my brain. Then I felt better. This took over 3 years of clean time to really see a major difference.

But, my crave still lurks. SR reminds me of what awaits if I relapse. AA meetings do the same. Both offer ways to achieve mental relief when the crave is raging. Urge surfing etc.

Everyone is different.

At this point in your recovery effort, you are doing the right thing by reaching out and trying to learn what is happening. Each relapse, even if it is after 1 day clean, will make the next attempt a bit more difficult. The damage seemed to become exponential just before I quit.

Hope this helps you in some way.

Thanks.

biminiblue

This time around, seven years.

I did it starting with a Day One without drinking.

Are you ready to put it down for good? Can you start by going to bed sober tonight?

advbike

Welcome Dimka, we have all been where you are now. A meeting would help, for sure.

Also please read other posts and keep posting. Many here have struggled, and beat it.

Dimka

I believe I can

Mizz

Meetings are good.
Participating here is good.

I had to restructure my time and fill it with activities that involved an extreme amount of self care.
Structure and a solid commitment to sobriety. You can do this!

Zebra1275

Get to an AA meeting, introduce yourself and participate. It's really hard to do this by yourself.

Anna

That sounds like a good plan.

Steely

Welcome Dimka.

Keep returning here to get the support you need to really do this.

You can, you know.

brighterday1234

The definition of an alcoholic. There is a solution to alcoholism and your plan sounds like a good one.

Dee74

I believe you can too Dimka.
Every bit of effort you put in will be repaid to you

D