Mizz

Babycat, RAL and Tanky,
This sobriety business has so many twists and turns, ya?

For some people sobriety is not linear. For some people, its a two steps forward and one step back. I have certainly had my fare share of one step back moments. Or many many steps back moments.

I am what would be called a "serial relapser." I have relapsed around the one year mark about 3 times if my memory is correct? I have gone through multiple different processes in regards to my sobriety and relapses. Getting sober has become harder and harder with each relapse. I've learned so much about my alcoholism that you would think I would have closed the book already and started on a new adventure? For some reason, I am still in that book but am hopeful that I have come to the end of it. The book is a bore to be honest. Im sick of reading about groundhogs day.

Today is all that matters to me. With that thought I have piled up many "todays" and am closing a very good chapter in the book!

We learn. We grow. We fall down sometimes. That is life. With enough time away from the alcohol we start to feel less shame. We start to see ourselves again. Love ourselves a little more. Keep moving forward. You can do this. You are doing this. Congrats for giving yourself the gift of freedom. March on!

Tanky- Your father would be so proud.

advbike

Good job Babycat! You can move on from it and learn a lesson. That's where the growth comes from.

Nice story Tanky. I miss my dad. He was a brilliant engineer but died at 69 from his disease. I like to think he'd be proud of me for trying to quit for so many years too, and maybe for not putting my career before everything and everyone else.

Steely

My dad too.

It's getting to become a little more linear now, Mizz. (At least) I know the direction I'm heading. No longer chaos. Only bouts.

Hope you're doing ok babycat.

Hope everyone is doing ok.

babycat

Hi everyone!! I am on day 3 and while I don't feel great, it is a vast improvement from a couple days ago. The anxiety is still there but I have to remember it is my body going a bit hey wire and the crazy thoughts are not real.
I think what sucks the most is that I am back to measly day 3.
Thank you all! As per usual, you have all been amazing.

Steely

So long as it's improving.

RAL

Congrats on day 3 Babycat. Same here. We can do this

Thanks for your post Mizz-it really helps to read and saying it's not a linear process really makes sense, thank you.

Tanky-your dad sure would be proud of you