TheAten

This adage came to me in the early hours of this sleepless morning as I caught myself thinking about buying a bottle of red wine to hide in my bedroom that I could drink at night so as not to be caught. I’m struggling majorly and have been the last two weeks or so, a combination of striving for sobriety, quitting nicotine and a horrific, seemingly endless UK lockdown. I was planning it all in my head until a thought suddenly occurred to me: “You’re suffering badly right now, but this too shall pass. Shall we suffer through and come out the other end sober or shall we make the present situation slightly more bearable but create certain future suffering and pain?” I then remembered the quote about going through hell, and so I’ve decided to soldier on, admittedly at this point on hands and knees, sober.

If I ever get to the sunny side so many of you speak of, I’ll be both amazed and elated.

BeABetterMan

If you’re not drunk or hungover, you are on the sunny side. Now stay here.

Kaily

Great thinking. Well done.

The call of the beast is always hard to resist, but you did and you can continue to do so.

Steely

We all know what happens when we buy that bottle of red .....

Great you thought it through.

Tomorrow you will be glad.

Be123

I'm felt rough yesterday and thought about buying alcohol for the first time in ages.

It was a thought. As soon as I realised what was happening I went for a run and watched the thought come, and watched it in my head, and then watched it go again. When I got back from the run I was sober and went to bed sober, waking up early this morning but feeling right as rain.

Thoughts come and go. Being sober is nice, it doesn't make everything ok but it stops the madness

Steely

Well said Be123.

Introvrtd1

I’m familiar with that old saying

D122y

I didn't even find SR until I was 90 days clean.

I couldn't figure out how after that long I was feeling like a madman.

These days, hell is like a distant memory, but SR reminds.

SR saved my life.

Suffering and time.

Thanks.

Dee74

You'll look back in a few weeks and be so glad that you stayed true TheAten

Tetrax

Nice one @TheAten , sorry you're struggling. I was likewise yesterday.

sortofhomecomin

Well done.

brighterday1234

If you stay sober and keep the faith you will reach the ‘sunny side’. Nothing worth doing ever comes easily 🙏

biminiblue

If you don't like your present thinking, wait ten minutes.

That's what I tell myself when un-bidden negative thoughts show up.

Then I'm likely to do calisthenics right away. Running in place, squats, jumping jacks, some resistance band stuff. That takes up three minutes and clears my mind.

fishkiller

You are now 1 step closer to the other side
Good work keeping up the fight!

Thoughts are just thoughts

TheAten

Hey all

Feel much, much better today. Went back to sleep after I posted and woke up feeling much more positive. The sun is shining, I’ve been for a walk and to the supermarket, will make Thai curry for dinner and have also bought some chocolate and some cake - I may not eat the chocolate or cake but it’s there just in case I feel sorry for myself again 🙂

I think it’s good to post all aspects of my journey to sobriety, not just good, not just bad. Pretending it’s easy for me isn’t helpful but also recognising that the vast majority of the time I’m happy to be sober and on this ride.

Thanks for all who reach out and continue to do so. And thanks to all who read what I say. I’m grateful for this 🙂

Anna

I'm glad that you're being open and honest about your journey. For me, it was definitely not a straight line in recovery, but a road of many ups and downs. I'm really glad you're feeling better today. Sunshine always helps and a little chocolate sounds good too.