Your AV, the scammer
 

Hello good people,

I haven't been posting at all for almost half a year now, but have been reading the newcomer's section and recently stumbled on something (in my mind) that may be of some help to those struggling with cravings in early recovery. I myself am about 21.5 months sober at this point.
Since my research concerns online scams, a couple of days ago after reading on SR, I realised that the AV - as much as I can base it on my own experiences - operates much like those who send you random emails about magical lottery wins (ones you never bought a ticket for, you know). My on 'settling down' in terms of cravings for alcohol came once I, first, started making a conscious effort to tell myself that alcohol is never the solution and, second, became used to that line of thought as my default go-to whenever a random drink-though sneaks in. I cannot really place that moment time-wise, but I think it was around the one-year mark.
Anyways, detecting a scam goes roughly like this: is the message guiding you towards or asking you to perform a specific action? If yes, what is the sender trying to get you to do? Like, it could be clicking on a link or sending bank info etc. As soon as you detect that, you can ask further questions such as "if I do what the message tells me to do, will I actually get the reward I'm being promised?". As you can see, a fraudulent lottery notification from a scammer is much like what the AV tells us to persuade us into taking that first drink. The AV promises a lot of things - solutions, you could say - e.g. peace of mind, a good time, forgetting bad things etc. The simple trade-off is always a drink. "Just one drink". It's almost identical in those lottery scams - you get the millions if you pay a small transfer fee (i.e. the scam).
Perhaps the comparison isn't the most eloquent but it seemed useful enough to me to at least mention it to newcomers. The AV always seeks out your current vulnerability (you see, scammers mostly make educated guesses about what people may want: money, opportunities, even love etc. - the AV has access to your deepest secrets, worries and fears 24/7. That's why it's so powerful in the convincing that it does) and tries to sell you a solution. For the "small price" of a drink.

Before I was actually able to get some sober time under my belt, I always-always-always fell for the AV scams. I could "take a drink" and forget the bad things that happened or elevate the good things etc. Booze was always presented as part of a solution, because my addicted brain a) knew my weaknesses and b) could exploit them to get what it wanted.

I hope this is of some help when you're struggling with cravings. When the craving hits, in addition to other tools you have learned, try and ask yourself what the AV is promising in return for a drink. Then ask yourself if that's really what's going to happen. Experience tends to show people that's not the case, because it was supposed to be just one drink, but 12 hours or 5 days later it's usually a lost wallet, bruises, some vomit somewhere, distinct lack of money, fear of looking at your phone or any messages you may have posted to social media and so on. The AV is a powerful scammer because it knows everything about you, because it's a part of you. If you monitor the promises that the AV presents you with, you could even start understanding your own fears and needs better - the AV always offers a solution, because addicts and people in early recovery are always in need of one. In order to offer you a solution, it has to first exploit the underlying need for one. Look at what that need is and try and focus on fixing it without booze moving forward.

Best
K

Good to hear from you kk1k - hope all is well with you - thanks for the post :)

D

Hi, kk! So nice to "see" you.

I like that metaphor a lot. (Is it a metaphor? An analogy? I think it's just some more good writing by kk.) :)

Hi, kk,

Congratulations on 22 months.

Me 14. :)

It is so much better.

This bit about the "need" makes sense. I suppose this is why so much is said about recovery going so much further than just not drinking.

Thanks K.

Good to "see" everyone :)

It keeps working if you work it, right Steely?

PS: Bim, from what I've learned, analogies are comparisons for making points :P similes are a type of metaphor and similes and metaphors can be used to create analogies. Hah, so I guess it was analogy (I was trying to make a point) that was constructued from a simile (I used "like"), but it was also metaphor since all similes are metaphors. "Confusions says:..."

A great, insightful, post, K. The AV is a scammer, extraordinaire, indeed. Good to 'see' you.

I'm...


...so glad I asked!