Gone done fudged up
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 1,327
Originally Posted by Finalcall 
Ye well it happened. I have alot to hold together. And I'm gonna.
depression is **** tho.
depression is **** tho.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
I'm sorry Finalcall. Depression is so tough. Booze makes it worse and when I was drinking I couldn't hold anything together at all. Booze is the ultimate set of handcuffs in a fight with depression or any other part of life.
anxiety and depression are a huge trigger for me as well.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,592
I'm sorry FinalCall. Depression really sucks. De Blues.
Getting motivated can be hard sometimes. I have to do the dishes. They are not attractive.
I try not to give myself a hard time about it now, which can be motivating. Haha
Getting motivated can be hard sometimes. I have to do the dishes. They are not attractive.
I try not to give myself a hard time about it now, which can be motivating. Haha
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: North Ga
Posts: 251
I really struggled with depression, anxiety, just everything seemed to be negative. When I got sober- probably six months in or so, I noticed I wasn’t so anxious, negative, etc. Alcohol is a depressant and I was constantly either drunk, drinking, or feeling the mental and physical effects of needing a drink.
not being in that squirrel cage makes things so much better.
not being in that squirrel cage makes things so much better.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 1,598
Hey FC, as you know, this is a great place to start. I struggle with the D too. Make sure you're dealing with that, otherwise sobriety is so darn tough. Let's hear more when you're ready. Take care. I TRY to start by treating my body well, forgiving myself and limiting the negative self-talk after going back out. It's already bad enough without piling on.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Nsw
Posts: 408
Stopped drinking 2 days ago. I really did a number this time around. Just baby steps now and deal with my actions.
I Got a few excuses. Physically sick, mental unwell, tried to deal with it with liquor... Again.
A true jekyll and hyde senario.
One I can never allow to happen again. I have never been in such mental anguish and pain ever. I've made many mistakes before but this would have to be a true rock bottom.
So I have been here for a few years quitting and such. But never truly thought It would be a permanent thing. Today it has become the most important thing in my life.
Today I start my life membership here, and on this new direction in my life. It is a must and I shall
I Got a few excuses. Physically sick, mental unwell, tried to deal with it with liquor... Again.
A true jekyll and hyde senario.
One I can never allow to happen again. I have never been in such mental anguish and pain ever. I've made many mistakes before but this would have to be a true rock bottom.
So I have been here for a few years quitting and such. But never truly thought It would be a permanent thing. Today it has become the most important thing in my life.
Today I start my life membership here, and on this new direction in my life. It is a must and I shall
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 2,279
I can only agree with kidseverywhere - for me at about ten weeks sober I suddenly realised my anxiety and low mood had gone. I only realized then because I was so used to feeling that way I didn't notice it anymore. It was my 'normal' and atound about the weeks it just lifted.
Not that they don't return, but with diet and exercise I can mostly control it. And if I can't then I can't, I am learning to live those times alongside it
Not that they don't return, but with diet and exercise I can mostly control it. And if I can't then I can't, I am learning to live those times alongside it
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: US
Posts: 264
I have never been in such mental anguish and pain ever.
This is the reason I stopped drinking. It was either quit drinking or commit suicide, I choose to quit drinking. I to have had depression issues my entire life but I am able to handle it now. Drinking only intensifies the depression.
You can stop drinking but it must be all you want out of life at this moment.
After 14 months I realized yesterday that I am just beginning to find myself and it feels pretty darn good.
This is the reason I stopped drinking. It was either quit drinking or commit suicide, I choose to quit drinking. I to have had depression issues my entire life but I am able to handle it now. Drinking only intensifies the depression.
You can stop drinking but it must be all you want out of life at this moment.
After 14 months I realized yesterday that I am just beginning to find myself and it feels pretty darn good.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
I never even recognized.... or at least accepted, that I had depression until I was sober for quite some time. Then, clear of the booze, I was actually able to work on it.
You know darn well alcohol only makes depression worse so I won't bother opining on that.
Imagine for a moment
A very very dark and cold night
You're shivering neck deep in a lake
you cannot move
And you're slowly, slowly, slowly....
Becoming completely immobile
But still there is pain
Now and again you see a glimmer
Or is it a glow
Off in the distance, on the horizon
Maybe you want to believe in it
But you cough and sputter as you dip your face
into the water
And now imagine for a moment
That glow responds to you
You tilt your head away from that water's surface
Stretch your neck toward where you thought you saw the glow
And just ever so slightly, it glows a little brighter.
Now, imagine you choose to BELIEVE in that glow
To say out loud "OHH!!! YOU GLOW!!!! I am grateful for you!!!
And it glows brighter still.
And in that glow you find an inspiration, ever so slight
To move one leg from the muck at the bottom of the lake
And it's hard and it's painful because you've stood still and frozen so long
But you manage it!! A slight shuffle just a bit forward, toward the glow
And the glow creeps toward you from what you now see is a horizon
Hold that image, close your eyes.
Imagine that each time that glow gets a shade lighter
You can feel another muscle coming to life
You can feel a little hope
You can see there is warmth in that direction
You can feel yourself yearning to be standing on the shore
basking in full sun
And with each shift of body weight, you lean in toward that horizon
And gradually your shuffle becomes a full step
Then another
and another
and each time you step and each time you move
You give thanks
You CHOOSE to celebrate
You choose to move on
Though there is pain, the momentum builds relief
You feel yourself begin to flow
Where there was a stabbing awfulness there is now something more like buzzing
Throbbing gives way to relaxation
Fear to hope
The glow crests to a golden-edged disc
The light hits you and you feel a glorious possibility
The warmth impales you with genuine belief
The pain subsides... there is relief
And then you're moving with greater purpose
You're celebrating the whole time
The pain opens into joy
The joy is fueled by gratitude
The sun is rising
Your feet touch the sand
A warm breeze blows off the hills
The darkness is gone
The cold, cold icy grip has been banished
And you stand, in full starshine of a new day
Free.
Happy.
And yes, there still will be some cold nights.
You may stumble and it may storm
But you never have to shiver to your death
In that frigid dark water.
Ever again.
It's like this.... you can.
You know darn well alcohol only makes depression worse so I won't bother opining on that.
Imagine for a moment
A very very dark and cold night
You're shivering neck deep in a lake
you cannot move
And you're slowly, slowly, slowly....
Becoming completely immobile
But still there is pain
Now and again you see a glimmer
Or is it a glow
Off in the distance, on the horizon
Maybe you want to believe in it
But you cough and sputter as you dip your face
into the water
And now imagine for a moment
That glow responds to you
You tilt your head away from that water's surface
Stretch your neck toward where you thought you saw the glow
And just ever so slightly, it glows a little brighter.
Now, imagine you choose to BELIEVE in that glow
To say out loud "OHH!!! YOU GLOW!!!! I am grateful for you!!!
And it glows brighter still.
And in that glow you find an inspiration, ever so slight
To move one leg from the muck at the bottom of the lake
And it's hard and it's painful because you've stood still and frozen so long
But you manage it!! A slight shuffle just a bit forward, toward the glow
And the glow creeps toward you from what you now see is a horizon
Hold that image, close your eyes.
Imagine that each time that glow gets a shade lighter
You can feel another muscle coming to life
You can feel a little hope
You can see there is warmth in that direction
You can feel yourself yearning to be standing on the shore
basking in full sun
And with each shift of body weight, you lean in toward that horizon
And gradually your shuffle becomes a full step
Then another
and another
and each time you step and each time you move
You give thanks
You CHOOSE to celebrate
You choose to move on
Though there is pain, the momentum builds relief
You feel yourself begin to flow
Where there was a stabbing awfulness there is now something more like buzzing
Throbbing gives way to relaxation
Fear to hope
The glow crests to a golden-edged disc
The light hits you and you feel a glorious possibility
The warmth impales you with genuine belief
The pain subsides... there is relief
And then you're moving with greater purpose
You're celebrating the whole time
The pain opens into joy
The joy is fueled by gratitude
The sun is rising
Your feet touch the sand
A warm breeze blows off the hills
The darkness is gone
The cold, cold icy grip has been banished
And you stand, in full starshine of a new day
Free.
Happy.
And yes, there still will be some cold nights.
You may stumble and it may storm
But you never have to shiver to your death
In that frigid dark water.
Ever again.
It's like this.... you can.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
Originally Posted by Finalcall
been here for a few years quitting and such. But never truly thought It would be a permanent thing.
l
l
Learning about AVRT here on SR ( great threads on these ideas in the Secular forum) showed me how to change my mind about future alcohol use and how to make a plan to never drink again. You got this , rootin for ya
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