Icandothis2013

So it’s a beautiful sunny day. I intend to go for a walk, bake some bread and do some work ..all sounds good but I am worried about money. My son used coercive control to get 1000s of pounds out of me ( not least by saying he was going to share a video of me drunk on social media and with my friends and colleagues unless I paid him..I paid of course). However, now I have sober clarity , I can see this is wrong and has to stop. However, it has left me very short of money and even though I have new work contracts, I won’t be paid for 60 days ! But I CAN do it if I budget responsibly. I have so many problems right now but at least drinking ain’t one of them !

Cityboy

Sorry you are having this issue with your son, and the issues with money.

Congratulations on day 9 and the sober clarity. It only gets better.

tornrealization

I have no words accept to wish you all the strength to getting through this sober. We call that blackmail and I’ve no experience how to handle it. Congratulations on nine days!

advbike

Wow. I'd definitely be done with him. That must really hurt. Sorry you're having to deal with that ICDT.

Stay sober and turn it over to your higher power. You are doing all the right things and your gratitude for the day is wonderful to see.

Things will continue to get better and you will intuitively know what to do.

Surrendered19

Tell him to just do it ICDT. Don't ever give him another dime and tell him no matter what he does, you will never give him another dime. If your son posted that online, the consequences would fall squarely on him, not you. Who would care really? Then it would be done and his power would be gone. I actually don't think he will do that. Bully's who threaten things like that typically are all talk. You already obtained a restraining order against him and he did not post the video. Stand up for yourself ICDT.

Icandothis2013

Thanks. In the restraining order the Judge added an amendment telling him specifically not to do that .. so yes, the consequences would be huge! It counts as ‘extortion’ which is a very serious crime !

ThatWasTheOldMe

Your son's behavior is blackmail / extortion and it's a crime.
It would be a very serious felony in the United States.

Dee74

I'm glad you took him to the courts ICDT.
I've lived very frugally for a few months before - you can do this

D

Mizz

Are you turning him in for extortion? Press charges. What does the law say?
There has to be some kind of protections in place for situations like this.

I really do hope you are able to remove yourself completely from this young man. I would not be contacting professors or worrying about his grades, food, housing etc. His behaviors and actions speak volumes about who he is.

MythOfSisyphus

I'm sorry you're dealing with this ICDT but it looks like things are getting better for you!