Day 9 and keeping the ball rolling
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2020
Posts: 16
Day 9 and keeping the ball rolling
Yesterday got rough. An exhaustion just came out of no where and my focus at work was non-existent. For the time, I took it as it was and did the best I could to get through. I had to take some time last night to just rest. I’m sleeping great, but I’m just tired. I think a lot of it is the amount of mental energy thay goes in to simply not drinking. It’s been a part of my life for so long, breaking the habit is draining. I know this will pass. I know the short term lethargic and mentally drained feelings I have now far outweigh the crippling hangovers, the inescapable depression of feeling stuck in a drunk circle, and the anxiety of needing to catch that next drink.
I think one of the best exercises I’ve done for myself this past week and a half is when I woke up on Tuesday—the morning after a three day weekend—I journaled what a normal three day weekend would have been like for me. I’m sure It would have amounted to a couple bottles of vodka chased by up to 8 bottles of wine. Knowing I can avoid that, and avoid the uncontrollable shakes and agony that ensues, followed by a week of tapering down to a “normal” amount of daily alcohol intake, truly being not present in my surroundings—that is what makes this all worth it.
I wrote I vision statement of who I want to be and what I want from recovery. I now read that every morning as a reminder that I can be a member of the world around me, I am enough to do the things I want to achieve, and I can be present and there for my friends and family. Little by little, I’m building pieces of me back to being the whole. I can get there.
I think one of the best exercises I’ve done for myself this past week and a half is when I woke up on Tuesday—the morning after a three day weekend—I journaled what a normal three day weekend would have been like for me. I’m sure It would have amounted to a couple bottles of vodka chased by up to 8 bottles of wine. Knowing I can avoid that, and avoid the uncontrollable shakes and agony that ensues, followed by a week of tapering down to a “normal” amount of daily alcohol intake, truly being not present in my surroundings—that is what makes this all worth it.
I wrote I vision statement of who I want to be and what I want from recovery. I now read that every morning as a reminder that I can be a member of the world around me, I am enough to do the things I want to achieve, and I can be present and there for my friends and family. Little by little, I’m building pieces of me back to being the whole. I can get there.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
I love this. "I wrote a vision statement of who I want to be and what I want from recovery."
Those first few weeks are very intense. I didn't see how I would ever get better or how I would get comfortable in being sober. I trusted the process though. I had too. There had to be a better way than what I was doing.
Stopping a habit is draining. It does require a lot of mental fortitude, as you already said. We do level off though and it becomes easier. The thoughts of drinking do become fewer and we do become free of the obsession.
You are well on your way. Keep on keeping on. You are doing something that is going to change your life for the positive. It feels really amazing to be free of alcohol. I hope you experience the same.
Those first few weeks are very intense. I didn't see how I would ever get better or how I would get comfortable in being sober. I trusted the process though. I had too. There had to be a better way than what I was doing.
Stopping a habit is draining. It does require a lot of mental fortitude, as you already said. We do level off though and it becomes easier. The thoughts of drinking do become fewer and we do become free of the obsession.
You are well on your way. Keep on keeping on. You are doing something that is going to change your life for the positive. It feels really amazing to be free of alcohol. I hope you experience the same.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 527
I posted a version of the following in response to someone else yesterday and it seems like a good response here as well.
If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely ... you are probably alcoholic. If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer. (Big Book, p. 44.)
For me, the necessary "spiritual experience" referred to above is the result of incorporating the A.A. program of recovery into my life, which consists of (1) meetings, (2) Steps, and (3) service work. Importantly, nothing else works for me -- A.A. is my only solution. I'm grateful I didn't die a horrible drunken death before I figured that out because unfortunately many do. As the Big Book says: Despite all we can say, many who are real alcoholics are not going to believe they are in that class. By every form of self-deception and experimentation, they will try to prove themselves exceptions to the rule, therefore nonalcoholic. (Big Book, p. 31.)
If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely ... you are probably alcoholic. If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer. (Big Book, p. 44.)
For me, the necessary "spiritual experience" referred to above is the result of incorporating the A.A. program of recovery into my life, which consists of (1) meetings, (2) Steps, and (3) service work. Importantly, nothing else works for me -- A.A. is my only solution. I'm grateful I didn't die a horrible drunken death before I figured that out because unfortunately many do. As the Big Book says: Despite all we can say, many who are real alcoholics are not going to believe they are in that class. By every form of self-deception and experimentation, they will try to prove themselves exceptions to the rule, therefore nonalcoholic. (Big Book, p. 31.)
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
