Will it ever get better???
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 424
Originally Posted by Introvrtd1 
Ever feel like things aren’t improving....Even if they slowly seem to improve?....
48 days today....Too early to expect miracles I know....
....does that even make any sense?
48 days today....Too early to expect miracles I know....
....does that even make any sense?
I know I’m getting better, but some days it feels like I’m getting worse even though I’m not drinking. It’s like I want to snap my fingers and have it all figured out—even though I know that’s not possible.
Stay sober, keep doing the work—we WILL find peace—it just takes time. ❤️
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,934
Yes it will get better, but not as quickly as you would probably like.
Here is some simple math to illustrate that point. I noticed that your joined this website in June of 2007. So I suspect that you've been concerned about your drinking for at least that long. Using an online "days between dates" calculator, June 1, 2007 was 5,011 days ago. So your current 48 sober days represents just under 1% of that time. I know it sucks to look at it that way, but if you have a long drinking history, to balance that out you are going to need to have a long sober history. And that just takes time, there are no shortcuts.
You were sober yesterday which was a victory. And if you stay sober today, you will have another victory. This is really a one day at a time thing, cherish each sober day and just keep moving forward. That's what happened to me. I'm now the old guy on here giving advice to the newcomers (and there was a time when my sobriety was so shaky, that I counted my sober time in hours, not days, so I've been there).
Here is some simple math to illustrate that point. I noticed that your joined this website in June of 2007. So I suspect that you've been concerned about your drinking for at least that long. Using an online "days between dates" calculator, June 1, 2007 was 5,011 days ago. So your current 48 sober days represents just under 1% of that time. I know it sucks to look at it that way, but if you have a long drinking history, to balance that out you are going to need to have a long sober history. And that just takes time, there are no shortcuts.
You were sober yesterday which was a victory. And if you stay sober today, you will have another victory. This is really a one day at a time thing, cherish each sober day and just keep moving forward. That's what happened to me. I'm now the old guy on here giving advice to the newcomers (and there was a time when my sobriety was so shaky, that I counted my sober time in hours, not days, so I've been there).
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Back in the USA
Posts: 2,661
Originally Posted by Zebra1275
Yes it will get better, but not as quickly as you would probably like.
Here is some simple math to illustrate that point. I noticed that your joined this website in June of 2007. So I suspect that you've been concerned about your drinking for at least that long. Using an online "days between dates" calculator, June 1, 2007 was 5,011 days ago. So your current 48 sober days represents just under 1% of that time. I know it sucks to look at it that way, but if you have a long drinking history, to balance that out you are going to need to have a long sober history. And that just takes time, there are no shortcuts.
You were sober yesterday which was a victory. And if you stay sober today, you will have another victory. This is really a one day at a time thing, cherish each sober day and just keep moving forward. That's what happened to me. I'm now the old guy on here giving advice to the newcomers (and there was a time when my sobriety was so shaky, that I counted my sober time in hours, not days, so I've been there).
Here is some simple math to illustrate that point. I noticed that your joined this website in June of 2007. So I suspect that you've been concerned about your drinking for at least that long. Using an online "days between dates" calculator, June 1, 2007 was 5,011 days ago. So your current 48 sober days represents just under 1% of that time. I know it sucks to look at it that way, but if you have a long drinking history, to balance that out you are going to need to have a long sober history. And that just takes time, there are no shortcuts.
You were sober yesterday which was a victory. And if you stay sober today, you will have another victory. This is really a one day at a time thing, cherish each sober day and just keep moving forward. That's what happened to me. I'm now the old guy on here giving advice to the newcomers (and there was a time when my sobriety was so shaky, that I counted my sober time in hours, not days, so I've been there).
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,592
I promise, the PAWS does get better Introvertd. I found acceptance to be key. Nothing we can do about it outside of definitely staying sober, and self care. Water is good.
Sorry it's happening to you tho.
Onwards.
Sorry it's happening to you tho.
Onwards.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Back in the USA
Posts: 2,661
Originally Posted by Steely
I promise, the PAWS does get better Introvertd. I found acceptance to be key. Nothing we can do about it outside of definitely staying sober, and self care. Water is good.
Sorry it's happening to you tho.
Onwards.
Sorry it's happening to you tho.
Onwards.
01-14-2019
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,217
Thank you for this thread! It was all the people on this board saying it would get better that kept me going. It’s real authentic people sharing their experiences and I trusted this support system. I wanted to be one of those people who can tell someone, it gets better one day. Years went by, and I finally got sober. I held onto this it will get better. Now I can say it does get better! There’s going to be ups and downs peaks and valleys but as you adjust to it you’ll realize things are better through it all. I’ve also done plenty of days where I had to go to bed ridiculously early because of cravings or struggling, but I haven’t really done that in awhile. Please keep with it. I’m over two years in now, and I still marvel at little things like being able to drive anytime and waking up hangover free. Ive gone through big things too and I felt much better equipped to handle the bad life stuff too.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 175
Hey thanks for the post! I resonate a lot, I feel as sobriety passes, the shifts seem to be more minor, but under the surface a massive transformation is taking place. We often do not notice because it is happening day by day and we are always there for it. I often hear that others will notice the changes before we do. The more rapidly you want the change, the more you can dive into your recovery! I personally follow the AA program and if I dive in completely, there is no time to really think much on such topics haha.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Back in the USA
Posts: 2,661
Ugh....Another bad day...I remember all the encouragement and reassurances you all have posted here but I’m really feelin the anxiety this evening....
Dont mean to be a downer here but I’m just venting
Believe me Im holding on real tight...The last thing on my mind is drinking....I wanna get well...
The last several days were good! Today I got ambushed!! Caught completely off guard...I know good n well what y’all said...It gets better, Yes! I believe that because there’s progress in the reduced intensity and frequency.....Thanks very much for that!
With the anxiety comes the blood pressure spikes and it makes me feel like crap ugh.
Im just talking it out...Just helps me get it off my chest...
Thanks for reading
Dont mean to be a downer here but I’m just venting
Believe me Im holding on real tight...The last thing on my mind is drinking....I wanna get well...
The last several days were good! Today I got ambushed!! Caught completely off guard...I know good n well what y’all said...It gets better, Yes! I believe that because there’s progress in the reduced intensity and frequency.....Thanks very much for that!
With the anxiety comes the blood pressure spikes and it makes me feel like crap ugh.
Im just talking it out...Just helps me get it off my chest...
Thanks for reading
01-14-2019
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,217
I’ve always like the sober muscles analogy because once you get through experiences sober the next one is easier to get through. I’m glad you’ve come here to vent and get it off your chest. For what it’s worth my anxiety went way down after sober time. I actually had no idea how much of my bad anxiety was amplified by alcohol or lack thereof.
I’m rooting for you!
I’m rooting for you!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Yes, you'll have bad days as well as good ones, but slowly it will get better. 
Be good to yourself with good food, rest, and exercise and it will pay off well for you. Be grateful for your blessings and more blessings will come to you. 
Be good to yourself with good food, rest, and exercise and it will pay off well for you. Be grateful for your blessings and more blessings will come to you. 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Back in the USA
Posts: 2,661
Had one of those moments where paws or whatever hit hard yesterday afternoon....I read about a phenomenon regarding how the brain remembers a certain time of day it expects me to be drinking but since I’m not....Wham! The withdrawal hits...
Feels good when things finally calm down and I can rationalize once again....it’s tough to do when Im in the thick of it
Feels good when things finally calm down and I can rationalize once again....it’s tough to do when Im in the thick of it
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: NC
Posts: 5,160
Time to try to reset that clock.
Change your routine up some and see if that helps those times..
Early on I had to do quite a few things differently.
A big one was not hanging out too long in my shop as I used to spend most of my free time out there piddlin and drinking myself into oblivion..
So in the beginning it was a big trigger.
It does get better and easier.
Change your routine up some and see if that helps those times..
Early on I had to do quite a few things differently.
A big one was not hanging out too long in my shop as I used to spend most of my free time out there piddlin and drinking myself into oblivion..
So in the beginning it was a big trigger.
It does get better and easier.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Back in the USA
Posts: 2,661
Originally Posted by fishkiller;[url=tel:7598300
7598300[/url]]Time to try to reset that clock.
Change your routine up some and see if that helps those times..
Early on I had to do quite a few things differently.
A big one was not hanging out too long in my shop as I used to spend most of my free time out there piddlin and drinking myself into oblivion..
So in the beginning it was a big trigger.
It does get better and easier.
Change your routine up some and see if that helps those times..
Early on I had to do quite a few things differently.
A big one was not hanging out too long in my shop as I used to spend most of my free time out there piddlin and drinking myself into oblivion..
So in the beginning it was a big trigger.
It does get better and easier.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2020
Posts: 149
Think of it like a mutual fund of ETF stock. Things slowly get better over the long run, sometimes so slowly that you don't even realize it. I stopped drinking April 2019 (with two slip ups in that time) and I just realized the other day that my life is completely different. I still have day to day issues and things improved at such a slow rate I didn't even notice it was happening, but looking back two years ago is like a different person. It feels like it should be ten years ago.
Also like an ETF, the compound interest snowballs in a positive way. One good thing leads to another, then a set back, then more good things ect. At the end of the period you come out way ahead, but there are still bad days in there.
Also like an ETF, the compound interest snowballs in a positive way. One good thing leads to another, then a set back, then more good things ect. At the end of the period you come out way ahead, but there are still bad days in there.
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