Day 3 and really trying.....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 25
Day 3 and really trying.....
Hi all - I was here some years ago and have flirted with sobriety many times. Today makes a new day three and I am really going to try to make this my last day three ever.... Ultimately I've just had it with letting everyone (including myself) down. I've missed so many opportunities over the last twenty years to be present when it mattered and to show the people that I love that they mean more to me than a stupid bottle.
I've had so many breaking points and rock bottom moments but never had the courage to stick with it for more than a couple of weeks. I've always used the excuse that since things on the outside still looked ok....that must be a true reflection of reality. I think I now know that it was nothing but a distorted mirror that only I really thought looked good.
I decided that honesty and openness might just be the right start to this change, so I told my partner that I was done letting her down on Wednesday morning (although she still might leave me after all the emotional turmoil I've caused) and went right to work and sat down with my partners and told them what had been going on and that I was going to be making some changes and attending meetings. Not to anyone's surprise they knew more than I thought and were absolutely supportive.
No more hiding (I hope), no more scheduling the various liquor stores, no more lies). I'm not sure I can fix everything I'd done but I know I can try to not continue it.
So, its Day 3, no real reason to celebrate just yet.....but I do know that there will be a Day 4...and I guess that's all I can promise.
I've had so many breaking points and rock bottom moments but never had the courage to stick with it for more than a couple of weeks. I've always used the excuse that since things on the outside still looked ok....that must be a true reflection of reality. I think I now know that it was nothing but a distorted mirror that only I really thought looked good.
I decided that honesty and openness might just be the right start to this change, so I told my partner that I was done letting her down on Wednesday morning (although she still might leave me after all the emotional turmoil I've caused) and went right to work and sat down with my partners and told them what had been going on and that I was going to be making some changes and attending meetings. Not to anyone's surprise they knew more than I thought and were absolutely supportive.
No more hiding (I hope), no more scheduling the various liquor stores, no more lies). I'm not sure I can fix everything I'd done but I know I can try to not continue it.
So, its Day 3, no real reason to celebrate just yet.....but I do know that there will be a Day 4...and I guess that's all I can promise.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Day 3 is a great reason to celebrate. You've done a great job and you sound determined to continue. Making yourself accountable to others should be a good tool in your recovery. Attending meetings can be helpful and you might think about coming up with other things you can do to help support your recovery, such as exercise, making changes in your social life, etc.
I'm glad you posted.
I'm glad you posted.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 525
Thanks for sharing, and congratulations on 3 days. Glad to hear you're committing to making meetings. I could not stay sober till I completely committed to the entirety of the A.A. recovery program. FWIW, here are the instructions I was given at the beginning of my current journey of recovery:
1. Get on my knees every morning and every evening, asking "God" [use whatever label works for you] to keep me sober in the morning and thanking "Him" [ditto] for keeping me sober before I go to bed. (Importantly, this does not require me to believe anything. I can be an atheist and follow this instruction.)
2. Attend 90 A.A. meetings in 90 days (i.e., a minimum of one meeting per day for 90 days).
3. Read the first 164 pages of the Big Book, highlighting whatever jumps out at me (I've felt like that, thought that, or did that).
4. Call my sponsor every day. (This, of course, requires me to have a sponsor -- and I was told to get one that knows where each of the Steps is set forth in the Big Book and makes working them central to their program.)
5. Get a home group and a service commitment. (Either here or in connection with one of the prior instructions I frequently get the response: "That's hard!" Of course it's hard -- but don't confuse hard with impossible. As the Big Book says: "Simple, but not easy; a price had to be paid.")
Another couple of relevant quotes:
"If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it -- then you are ready to take certain steps. At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not."
"We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit ... as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny."
1. Get on my knees every morning and every evening, asking "God" [use whatever label works for you] to keep me sober in the morning and thanking "Him" [ditto] for keeping me sober before I go to bed. (Importantly, this does not require me to believe anything. I can be an atheist and follow this instruction.)
2. Attend 90 A.A. meetings in 90 days (i.e., a minimum of one meeting per day for 90 days).
3. Read the first 164 pages of the Big Book, highlighting whatever jumps out at me (I've felt like that, thought that, or did that).
4. Call my sponsor every day. (This, of course, requires me to have a sponsor -- and I was told to get one that knows where each of the Steps is set forth in the Big Book and makes working them central to their program.)
5. Get a home group and a service commitment. (Either here or in connection with one of the prior instructions I frequently get the response: "That's hard!" Of course it's hard -- but don't confuse hard with impossible. As the Big Book says: "Simple, but not easy; a price had to be paid.")
Another couple of relevant quotes:
"If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it -- then you are ready to take certain steps. At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not."
"We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit ... as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny."
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Glad you're here TTT.. you're taking the right steps and will find lots of support here. Keep reading and posting and congrats on Day 3 - actually that is a huge accomplishment! You can absolutely make it happen here. Keep going!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,100
Congrats on 3 days. Keep reading around and posting. There’s so much you can learn on here just by reading other people’s struggles and successes. Being here constantly was invaluable to me in my fist year.
Look for ways to stay connected to how you feel today. For me, that was key.
sobriety is 100% doable my friend. Trust in yourself and know that with time you’ll develop a new normal.
You can do it!
Look for ways to stay connected to how you feel today. For me, that was key.
sobriety is 100% doable my friend. Trust in yourself and know that with time you’ll develop a new normal.
You can do it!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2021
Location: Virginia Beach, Virginia
Posts: 16
Keep it going! Most people can't even make it to day 3 so you're doing fricken great!
I totally understand when it comes to relationships. I was married and though she was a HUGE cause for the marriage collapsing (constantly screaming at me, controlling etc) I'll admit my drinking didnt help things.
But the time to act is now. Prove the whole situation isnt gonna keep you down. We got your back!
I totally understand when it comes to relationships. I was married and though she was a HUGE cause for the marriage collapsing (constantly screaming at me, controlling etc) I'll admit my drinking didnt help things.
But the time to act is now. Prove the whole situation isnt gonna keep you down. We got your back!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Melbourne Beach, FL
Posts: 253
Just a thought that might help. I’m on day 9 for the last time. The other day I decided to write down a list of the values and appreciations of sobriety. It now fills up an entire college ruled 8 1/2 x 11 piece of paper and continues to grow. I tried to put down a right hand column for the pros of drinking, and I only came up with one. And that was a few hour high followed by shame, regret, and remorse in the morning. Nope, not worth it to me. I’ve been to too many rodeos to know that it never ends well. I’d rather wake up clear-headed and smiling. Hang in there.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,537
Wonderful news that you've reached 3 days sober - we know how hard it is! It gets easier & you'll be less anxious as the days go on.
It's great to have you join us, tryingthistime.
This can be where the misery ends.
It's great to have you join us, tryingthistime.
This can be where the misery ends.
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