Backtogood

I'm back! Shocker, after 14 days sober, I drank with the neighbors at a playdate. And then i wasn't going to drink again, but superbowl was coming up And so I decided After the superbowl would be a perfect time. Well, i feel myself spiraling back to where i started and that's not where i want to be. Or who i want to be. I skipped my doc appointment (labs) yesterday cause i knew they'd be bad. Very disappointed in myself. Again. I will say i was not getting blackout drunk, so i think i rationalized my drinking. But in reality I've already messed up my health and Any drinking is not good for me. Already drank earlier today. Switched to water And 2marrow let the night sweats and anxiety begin...at least by the end of the week i will start feeling better and More at peace with myself And my place in life. Hopefully, some day I'll get this right. I don't even want to drink (when I'm not drinking) but once i start it just doesn't stop.

Hawkeye13

We don’t have an off switch, that’s for sure. Glad you’re back!

AlbaSober

This process is working for you because you are drinking less and divvying up more sober time and that's excellent. 14 days sober and couple on it isn't what you need but it's one hell of a lot better than 14 straight.

I'm not the person with the clever words that makes things stick, but I'm proud of your continued efforts which is resulting in improved sober/good time.

Backtogood

Appreciate that Alba, it just sucks doing the same thing over and over again.
I feel stronger each time I come back and i know what to expect and have more healthy routines in place. How's your sleep going? Btw

FiveTries

BTG I could have written your whole post. I relapsed with my neighbors in December. I have high enzymes. I keep ducking my doctor too.

I have got 11 days today. I don't really want to have to quit but I know the gig is up.

Glad you're back!

Backtogood

congrats on 11 days! Just got to get through the first week and then i feel pretty solid...well, til i drink again.

Hevyn

Backtogood - I had this happen a few times until I finally had to admit I couldn't touch a drop. There was never going to be 'a couple' drinks for me. Drinking one always led to being drunk, irresponsible, reckless. It was such a relief to get free for good. Congrats for realizing it leads nowhere good.

Ringside

At risk of pointing out the obvious, you actually don't have to drink and go through this awful routine again

sortofhomecomin

Do you have any particular reason to think your lab results will be bad? If we drink it sometimes causes us to overthink and become depressed, always assuming the worst. Once you do get them, if they are good, pat yourself on the back and stay off the drink. Even if they are bad, try to use them as motivation to stop drinking permanently. So you win either way.

Backtogood

no ****. It's just not always not that easy

Backtogood

my labs were bad as of spring, they are wait better now but still not normal.

least

It's NOT easy, but it is simple. But you have to want to be sober more than you want to drink.

Backtogood

truth

lifewithart

Just keep on coming back here. It only became possible once i made recovery my number 1 priority. Rather than "how can I fit recovery into my daily life" i needed to see "how I can cut my daily life into recovery!"

Dee74

fight it BtG - fight for your life - cos in a very real sense that's what is at stake here.
Think about all the things you have to lose and accept that your drinking puts those things at risk.

D

Backtogood

I know. I get it..thx

Delilah1

Welcome back!

BigShoe

Thanks for posting and the reminder that it’s not a hangover anymore but a few days of misery

Dee74

I get people must get tired of hearing it and even more tired of me saying it but you really have to treat every thought that a drink would be ok, as total destructive BS.

It will not be OK - and you're facing some stuff thats more than sufficient proof of that.

I'm not lecturing here. I'm no better a person than you.
I'm just trying to connect with your Higher positive life affirming voice rather than your AV

I had to take the option of drinking off table - all the time, for ever.

D

Backtogood

ya I'm finding it is much more than just not drinking, it's a process. For me, at least, all my attempts have at least given me tools to help in my recovery.