Sivachavali

I got my first DUI in 2017 April, which shattered my whole family for 3 months, luckily I was not convicted. Was able to recover. My spouse and kids were always against to my drinking, I used hide bottles in car trunk and drink. One day when I had verbal fight with my spouse regarding my drinking habit, to calm down the fight I left home, I parked my car in public school parking lot in the evening which was 100 meters away from my doorstep, and had drinks there, one of the person observed myself not steady when I got down of the car for smoke. I didn’t notice anyone having keen looks at the parking lot, I got back into the car and was waiting for time to be 9 pm so that I can calmly get in my home without having again an argument with spouse, my plan was to leave the car in the parking lot and walk home as I clearly know the consequences and costs of DUI. But the neighborhood person called police on me where I got care and control of the vehicle though I was not driving. This is upto a trail now. I started driving again, however was pulled by police in Jan 4 2021 for no reason, I showed him the license. Immediately he humiliated me saying I have 4 duis which I don’t. I was having high fever and cough at that time. He again humiliated me that I was acting. Then I thought to myself that I will not blow in to device as he asked to. I don’t really know refuse to blow is also an offence. He suspended my license and gave me ticket for refusing to blow. Seriously going through a lot of depression, sleepless nights and financial losses. For care and control I have spent over 12 k on lawyer, again to handle this I have to pay another 10 k. I have decided to not drink neither drive at all.
my advise to fellow friends here is don’t touch your car and get behind the wheel if you are alcoholics. Only after you are completely sober ( it may take at least 1 year to have confidence in oneself to declare that you are not an addict)
please don’t trouble your family like I did

novips

My experience tells me that a real alcoholics lacks the will power to avoid driving drunk after picking up the first drink. My experience tells me that the only way a real alcoholic can avoid DUIs is to not pick up the first drink, and the only way a real alcoholic can avoid picking up the first drink is to utterly abandon themselves to the A.A. recovery program.

Surrendered19

Hi Sivachavali. Welcome to SR and I hope you can get sober and healthy. There is much in your post and it is hard to react. But I can say this in reaction to your entire post - you need to stop drinking for good. I hear genuine stress in your post. But I also hear lots and lots of resentment and blaming others, which will prevent you from making changes. You need to get your legal troubles behind you, then you need to never get behind the wheel of a car again if you have had anything at all to drink and you need to make sure you understand all of the requirements of the privilege of driving.

Are you sober now? What is your plan to never drink again?

stickyone

my advise to fellow friends here is don’t touch your car and get behind the wheel if you are alcoholics. Only after you are completely sober ( it may take at least 1 year to have confidence in oneself to declare that you are not an addict)
please don’t trouble your family like I did
welcome,

Good news according your fellow friends most of us are cured from addiction. Doesn't really sound like you're friends understand alcohol addiction to well. If you are planning on getting sober I would say probably good idea meet people who are in recovery.

fini

good to have you here, Siva.
sounds like drinking has messed up your life pretty badly already.
other than joining here on SR, what are you intending to do/not do about the drinking?

brighterday1234

Since I got sober I’ve never driven drunk. Before I got sober I drove drunk and inevitably lost my driving license for a DUI.

Mizz

It takes what it takes, Siva.
Alcoholism is insidious. We do things we never thought we would do. Consequences come that we never thought would take place. It really is a very tough road to walk.

Create a plan and execute that plan. Meaning, structure yourself in a way where recovery takes precedence over all other matters. I had to change my habits into healthier habits.

For some people AA is the route.
SMART
Lifering
SR recovery forum

There are 24 hr threads to join here. Monthly threads. People start their own threads and record their sober lives in it. The sky is the limit.

One step at a time. One day at a time. I think it is valuable to talk with others who understand what you are going through and can be supportive. Keep posting. Keep reading.

Buckley3

I had my own nasty experience with DUIs. It's behind me now.

Thought I'd mention though, the depression, arguments with the spouse, the financial problems, the DUIs - it's all the booze (obviously.) One of the bigger lessons I learned when I finally stopped denial and took responsibility for my problems with alcohol was the realization that, even in my sober moments, my relationship with alcohol dominated and tainted every aspect of my life.

So glad it's behind me.

Sivachavali

Hi All
Thanks for all your responses, I am trying hard to get rid of the alcohol completely. But relapses and withdrawal is really big problem that I am facing, I was sober for 3 months initial Jan 4th but again i started for past 1 month again. This time the addiction went so bad that I fell in home for 3 times, peed on bed for 3 times. Really facing tough times in quitting

ScottFromWI

Sorry to hear you are struggling sivachavali. I had a DUI early on in my drinking life, and while I was never arrested a second time I did drive drunk many times after that and it is one of the things that still haunts me to this day for the damage I could have caused.

One thing I realized after several attempts at quitting was that I had to stop using consequences as a primary deterrent. I'm not saying that we shouldn't acknowledge them or that they are not serious, but for the most part they do eventually pass. And once they do it opens the door to our addiction to start drinking again. I had to firmly and intentionally make sobriety my #1 life priority over everything else, rather than just hoping I didn't drink.

whopper

Been through the same thing so I know how it feels. The shame and humiliation of it all. And not being able to drive on top of it. My insurance went sky high so I haven't driven since my suspension ended. A couple of years have passed so I might try to get coverage this year. If I don't get any I don't know what I will do. The only good that came of it was that I stopped drinking, but now with the covid out there, I do nothing.

Donnylutz

I had my first (and somehow miraculously only) DUI back in 2011. It was an odd night - my friend and I went to see our favorite drag show, but felt bored and didn't stay long. I had 3 drinks. Legally drunk (.12), but usually I'd have had 8 or more and maybe a shot. I'd then drive home and think nothing of it. I was so selfish.

I'm haunted by my drinking and driving. Just before rehab I was a pizza delivery driver, and would be blackout drunk at work sometimes. You'd think a coworker would care, but they all had issues with alcohol too, or were busy doing coke in the bathroom...... never trust someone over 35 that delivers pizza as a full time job!!! JMO

I've learned something important - if I'm drinking, I can't stop myself from driving. But, since I don't pick up that first drink, I don't have to worry at all about DUI's. To this day if a cop is behind me I feel nervous and think "how much did I have?" I've been sober over a year and still have these thoughts, I think I always will.

I haven't had the nightmare in awhile - I wake up with a horrid hangover, open my eyes, don't know where I am, try to raise my hand to rub my eye.... that's when I realize I'm handcuffed to a hospital bed. A cop walks in, and tells me I'm under arrest for vehicular manslaughter....... it's a horrible dream, but I'll take it over the reality of it any day!

It's truly shocking that I never hurt anyone or myself with my disgusting decisions....

I'm glad that's behind me. It can be behind you too. Build your sober path and walk it!