The Story of the Yes Man
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2021
Posts: 11
The Story of the Yes Man
Anything to avoid pain, have my fake friends, think I have all this potential, live in my own personal fantasy world and forget who I was.
It didn't really matter who you were in the drinking and drugs scene, it felt like any kind of person was welcome, and I think I fit in fairly well. Nice and relaxed, could strike up a conversation and be engaging, laugh and have a good time. "Shots?" of course I'd say yes to that, I don't think I ever said no. I'd say yes to it all.
But when you end up making different kinds of friends, the ones with goals, aspirations, practiced hobbies, etc, things change a little bit. Soon the guilt starts to pile up, then the depression, and then the real you starts making appearances; that boring, nervous, nerdy kid from over a decade ago, wanting to know why you can't seem to achieve any of the goals you set and why you don't pursue hobbies anymore. I shut him up for a little while longer after that, sometimes going on week long benders, alone. It's scary waking up to heart palpitations and a feeling of "what have you done?" but then taking another shot to go back into a daze again.
This is day 3. I poured out the rest of my vodka left over from Friday night. The fake me never actually existed, but still wish I could say yes though.
It didn't really matter who you were in the drinking and drugs scene, it felt like any kind of person was welcome, and I think I fit in fairly well. Nice and relaxed, could strike up a conversation and be engaging, laugh and have a good time. "Shots?" of course I'd say yes to that, I don't think I ever said no. I'd say yes to it all.
But when you end up making different kinds of friends, the ones with goals, aspirations, practiced hobbies, etc, things change a little bit. Soon the guilt starts to pile up, then the depression, and then the real you starts making appearances; that boring, nervous, nerdy kid from over a decade ago, wanting to know why you can't seem to achieve any of the goals you set and why you don't pursue hobbies anymore. I shut him up for a little while longer after that, sometimes going on week long benders, alone. It's scary waking up to heart palpitations and a feeling of "what have you done?" but then taking another shot to go back into a daze again.
This is day 3. I poured out the rest of my vodka left over from Friday night. The fake me never actually existed, but still wish I could say yes though.
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Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 2,407
Recovery is all about learning to say no, learning that people have a right to be wrong, and learning to be comfortable and at peace in your own skin. It’s a wonderfully freeing way of life and entirely possible if one is honest, open-minded and willing to do what it takes to recover from alcoholism. I never regret getting sober it’s the best thing I ever did.
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Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
Hi itsaguy and welcome to SR. Well done on day 3. Those are tough but necessary days to get healthy. I'm going to bet that boring, nervous nerdy kid was pretty damn cool. I think you should let him out and find out who he is. It takes a while. Be patient with yourself. Just do everything you have to in order to stay sober. That is the key to finding out what you are capable of.
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,550
You will never regret your decision itsaguy. Congrats on Day 3.
It's not easy to begin, but gets easier as you find, and experiment with those things you SO want to DO. Work on finding yourself again. I know how you feel. I want to write good poetry. Who doesn't?
I hope you keep posting.
Nerdy kids are the best. 😎
Saying Yes, too easy. I like a challenge. I grow.
Thirteen months for me after many attempts. It is so much better.
It's not easy to begin, but gets easier as you find, and experiment with those things you SO want to DO. Work on finding yourself again. I know how you feel. I want to write good poetry. Who doesn't?
I hope you keep posting.
Nerdy kids are the best. 😎
Saying Yes, too easy. I like a challenge. I grow.
Thirteen months for me after many attempts. It is so much better.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,550
I find the "losing of self" through drinking really sad too, Anna.
The saddest thing of all.
Finding myself again has been monumental.
Keeps evolving.
So happy for it, irrespective of everything.
The saddest thing of all.
Finding myself again has been monumental.
Keeps evolving.
So happy for it, irrespective of everything.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
Now you can say "YES" to all the things that you have wanted to do but didn't due to drinking.
Yes, to sobriety
Yes, to living up to your full potential
Yes, to a healthier version of you
Yes, to moving forward ....
The sky is the limit.
Yes, to sobriety
Yes, to living up to your full potential
Yes, to a healthier version of you
Yes, to moving forward ....
The sky is the limit.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,537
Congrats on your Day 3, itsaguy. Those early ones are rough, but you sound motivated & tired of the old life. The fake me was such a fool - I'm so glad she's gone.
Happy to have you with us.
Happy to have you with us.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
oh, there is so much to say yes to in sobriety!
to yourself and life for one. to others, for real.
https://www.google.ca/url?sa=i&url=h...AAAAAdAAAAABAb
posters of our Provincial Health Officer, with a photo of her at 7 and the message “the world needs more Nerds!” are on almost all our buses at the moment.
embrace your nerdness and you can find a place with it in the world.
congrats on day 3 and showing up.
to yourself and life for one. to others, for real.
https://www.google.ca/url?sa=i&url=h...AAAAAdAAAAABAb
posters of our Provincial Health Officer, with a photo of her at 7 and the message “the world needs more Nerds!” are on almost all our buses at the moment.
embrace your nerdness and you can find a place with it in the world.
congrats on day 3 and showing up.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,037
Three days is a great start! The best thing about sobriety is you learn to say yes to the things you want, and you also learn it’s okay to say no, this was one that wasn’t always easy for me. I am five years sober, and I genuinely like the person I am today, flaws and all.
Keep reading and posting, this site helped me get sober and is still my greatest support.
❤️Delilah
Keep reading and posting, this site helped me get sober and is still my greatest support.
❤️Delilah
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by itsaguy 
Anything to avoid pain, have my fake friends, think I have all this potential, live in my own personal fantasy world and forget who I was.
It didn't really matter who you were in the drinking and drugs scene, it felt like any kind of person was welcome, and I think I fit in fairly well. Nice and relaxed, could strike up a conversation and be engaging, laugh and have a good time. "Shots?" of course I'd say yes to that, I don't think I ever said no. I'd say yes to it all.
But when you end up making different kinds of friends, the ones with goals, aspirations, practiced hobbies, etc, things change a little bit. Soon the guilt starts to pile up, then the depression, and then the real you starts making appearances; that boring, nervous, nerdy kid from over a decade ago, wanting to know why you can't seem to achieve any of the goals you set and why you don't pursue hobbies anymore. I shut him up for a little while longer after that, sometimes going on week long benders, alone. It's scary waking up to heart palpitations and a feeling of "what have you done?" but then taking another shot to go back into a daze again.
This is day 3. I poured out the rest of my vodka left over from Friday night. The fake me never actually existed, but still wish I could say yes though.
It didn't really matter who you were in the drinking and drugs scene, it felt like any kind of person was welcome, and I think I fit in fairly well. Nice and relaxed, could strike up a conversation and be engaging, laugh and have a good time. "Shots?" of course I'd say yes to that, I don't think I ever said no. I'd say yes to it all.
But when you end up making different kinds of friends, the ones with goals, aspirations, practiced hobbies, etc, things change a little bit. Soon the guilt starts to pile up, then the depression, and then the real you starts making appearances; that boring, nervous, nerdy kid from over a decade ago, wanting to know why you can't seem to achieve any of the goals you set and why you don't pursue hobbies anymore. I shut him up for a little while longer after that, sometimes going on week long benders, alone. It's scary waking up to heart palpitations and a feeling of "what have you done?" but then taking another shot to go back into a daze again.
This is day 3. I poured out the rest of my vodka left over from Friday night. The fake me never actually existed, but still wish I could say yes though.
Congratulations on Day 3..... this journey of Sobriety Embraced is so, so well worth it.
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