Createdchaos

I'm new here. My situation is extremely complex, addicted to meth, have severe anxiety disorders and complex PTSD. I also don't leave my home. Not many options for me that fit with my situation but I desperately want to stop. I have absolutely no support, only 2 people know of my addiction, and one of them recently left to get clean which I'm super proud of him, but am lost without him. So I'm here, hoping to find something that works with my situation.

tomls

You have found a great place for advice and understanding. Read and post as needed. Open 24/7 at your fingertips.

ScottFromWI

Welcome created - glad you are here. You now know literally hundreds of people who are happy to share and help.

aasharon90

Having a support network of folks achieving success in
living a sober and clean life a day at a time and holding
onto that support lifeline is what will help you learn how
to remain sober yourself and not be alone in doing so.

There are all stages of folks in recovery here. From wanting
to quit, to few days to a week, months and yes, years.

The newcomers look for wisdom and hope from those
with long term sobriety as we with long term sobriety
need the new comers to remind us that addiction is still
attacking folks at all stages of life.

There is a solution available to putting our addictions to
rest and not return to it as long as we continue doing daily
maintenance in all areas of our lives to achieve a strong,
solid recovery foundation to live our lives upon in a healthy,
happy, honest way of life moving forward.

You will find many in recovery will happily walk beside
you with care, concern, support, love and understanding
as you listen, learn, absorb and apply healthy recovery
tools to your own life.

SR Strong everyday all day.

Steely

Welcome Createdchaos.

You will find lots of support here. Hope you continue to post.

Is there any way you can follow in the footsteps of your friend to get yourself clean? Did he/she go to detox/rehab?

Don't just be proud of your friend CH, be proud of yourself. You can be. I'm getting there.

Hevyn

It's so good to have you with us, Createdchaos. You're never alone.
I stopped in here years ago - just out of curiosity. I wasn't quite ready to quit - but knew I couldn't continue my daily drinking. The more I read, the more comfortable and 'at home' I felt. No one judged or lectured - everyone had been through similar challenges. No one else in my life understands the way my SR family does. I hope you'll post & read - and stay with us.

KidsEverywhere

Just remember most of all- you are not alone and this has been done before and you can do it too.
This is a great place to come when you are feeling like using and need to talk to folks who “get it” and can relate.
As far as what to do- take things one step at a time- your addictive mind will tell you it is too overwhelming and you can’t do it- you can. Figure out what things you need to do- go to a rehab center? get some literature to help you? Etc and take small but deliberate steps towards small a bigger goals- staying sober is top of the list.

Anna

Welcome and we're always open and there's always someone around to talk to.

least

Welcome to the family. I have gotten so much support here. I hope you'll use the support to help you get sober for good.

Dee74

Lots of support and understanding here - welcome aboard createdchoas

D

CBS62

Welcome! You took a great step in admitting that you are an addict. I have been reading and posting for about 5 weeks and find this group very helpful! I am an alcoholic and suffer from anxiety and depression. Stay strong and good luck.

Createdchaos

I am disabled and homebound. I have complex PTSD from a sexual assault in my home and have not left in over 5 years. The assault was never reported bcuz law enforcement simply doesn't care if you are involved with anyone using drugs. I have had a therapist come to my home for a year, but Covid has prevented anything further inside. I have an immense amount of work to do to be able to trust anyone enough to leave my home. My therapist didn't know about the meth. I can't take the flashbacks and fear so I get high. My friend went to detox he was with me since the day I was assaulted and I I was really dependent on him but I told him he can't save me he needs to do his stuff for himself. Honestly it will take months for me to be able to walk down the street so I'm looking for support to at least stop here at home. My parents are dead I have a bad relationship with my siblings who are very toxic to me. I have my daughter who lives here is 24 but she doesn't know and lost her dad to drugs. I've been very private until now but I have to do something.

Dee74

I was homebound too for many years but for physical reasons, so I at least understand the isolation.
If someone is bringing the meth in for you, as they must be, at least you can cut off that source pretty easily?

gotta start somewhere
D

Createdchaos

Yes, I can do that. That’s actually the easy part. My problem is I get to day 3 and the brain fog makes me feel like I’m not on point or like I wouldn’t be able to know if someone was breaking in ect. I feel very out of control. I’ve tried before, and when he was here we tried together and we were just angry at each other so it didn’t work for me to rely on him to make sure I’m ok. The emotions are intense, I have been very dissociated from real life for awhile, feelings and I’ve not processed a lot of my assault or my parents deaths. Both parents and my assault we’re within 6 months of each other and I’ve been high ever since. It’s totally different without him here, I don’t even want it, but don’t want the feeling of being out of control either. I’m going to be uncomfortable that’s a given, and it’s consequences to my choices, I just need to discover ways to know I’m ok, and it’s normal stuff you go through, I don’t talk to people or have any friends since this happened, , so this is really new to me and reading others posts I can see that many things I fear are not just my fears. I’m scared of what I could do if I get depressed ect

Dee74

Not sure where you live but due to COVID teleheath has really leaped forward in the last year - phone calls, text, facetime, Zoom...you may not even have to leave to house to get some medical or psychological help if thats needed?

D

Createdchaos

Yes I've reached out to different places and I think I have found one that works with my Insurance. They will be getting ahold of me tomorrow morning to set up video counseling. It has taken awhile because I had to have my gp verify a homebound status for my insurance to cover.

Dee74

That sounds promising

D