Breaking the cycle
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Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 15
Breaking the cycle
Both of my parents are addicts—one in recovery for the past 35 years and one who after 20 years sober relapsed my senior year of high school and has been on the continuous decline since. These facts cause me a great amount of fear. The reason it scares me the most is the people who are suppose to make feel the safest and most secure can’t even be that for themselves. I think this very thought is one of the biggest components in my own drinking. It is selfish to put all this responsibility on them because I am now a 30 year old woman. Needless to say, I’ve come to
the realization I have to make myself feel safe and secure and I know this is where the ‘higher power’ comes into place. But I’m struggling with where to even begin with understanding what I believe.What I do know is that if I don’t find a higher power, I will continue a cycle. Can anyone else relate or have any advice pertaining to similar family situations or finding something bigger than themselves to relieve overwhelming, all-consuming fears.
the realization I have to make myself feel safe and secure and I know this is where the ‘higher power’ comes into place. But I’m struggling with where to even begin with understanding what I believe.What I do know is that if I don’t find a higher power, I will continue a cycle. Can anyone else relate or have any advice pertaining to similar family situations or finding something bigger than themselves to relieve overwhelming, all-consuming fears.
Hi Gus
I'd moved out and was independent by the time I got sober. Does your post mean you still live with your dad?
Living with an active addict or alcoholic is tough but places like SR can help you stay feeling safe and secure.
Living with drinkers need not be a dealbreaker for your recovery
If AA is your chosen method of support I think your HP question is a great one to ask your sponsor or your AA friends.
For me (not in AA) the community here was a power greater than me - and still is
If a secular approach resonates more with you there are secular meeting based approaches like SMART RECOVERY and lifering.
D
I'd moved out and was independent by the time I got sober. Does your post mean you still live with your dad?
Living with an active addict or alcoholic is tough but places like SR can help you stay feeling safe and secure.
Living with drinkers need not be a dealbreaker for your recovery
If AA is your chosen method of support I think your HP question is a great one to ask your sponsor or your AA friends.
For me (not in AA) the community here was a power greater than me - and still is
If a secular approach resonates more with you there are secular meeting based approaches like SMART RECOVERY and lifering.
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 740
I have a good view at home looking East over lots of open space. Those crazy colors in the sky very, very early in the morning.
The light and energy coming across the sky to me is evidence of a higher power. It doesn't prove it but to me it suggests a higher power of some form. Something. Who put that there? What kicked it off?
The light and energy coming across the sky to me is evidence of a higher power. It doesn't prove it but to me it suggests a higher power of some form. Something. Who put that there? What kicked it off?
My dad was an alcoholic, an absentee dad (worked overseas my entire life) so I could never rely on him when I got older, and mom could barely made ends meet, bless her heart, and was super religious. No one gave me a car or paid for college. So I figured out I had to be independent from the beginning and realized I had no one to rely on but myself. So I worked hard and made a good career for myself and eventually completed a graduate degree.
As a result of my upbringing, I can't stand religion and have always found my higher power in nature. I have never strayed too far from the wilderness and when I did I always got myself into trouble. I found the Rational Recovery (AVRT) approach very helpful also because it embodies personal responsibility which works for me. In recent years I do pray and "turn things over" to my HP, but I believe it is a natural spirit and I still feel closest to it when I am in nature.
As a result of my upbringing, I can't stand religion and have always found my higher power in nature. I have never strayed too far from the wilderness and when I did I always got myself into trouble. I found the Rational Recovery (AVRT) approach very helpful also because it embodies personal responsibility which works for me. In recent years I do pray and "turn things over" to my HP, but I believe it is a natural spirit and I still feel closest to it when I am in nature.
I think finding a belief system can be hard for some.
You can believe in a power of a community to help you to remain sober.
You can believe in the strength you have been given to make the right decision to stay sober for another day.
You can believe in the power of prayer. Fake it till you make it kind of deal.
You can believe in the power of structure.
All of those things above keep me level and sober. This community has given me a lot of strength, compassion and understanding. I have leaned on this community to help me to stay the path. Strength and love in numbers.
My parental units did not offer me security in any form. I didn't even know what stability or security looked like until I started to build it for myself. Both of my parents are addicts and have unhealthy behavior that is generational. A lot of their "stuff" I did not take on. Some of it I did. I was angry with my parents for more years than I can count.
I am not my mother or father and I have not made the same detrimental decisions they have. You are not your parents either. It is okay to be fearful but do not let fear stop you from creating a life that you can be proud of.
I vowed to carve my own path. It is not an easy trek and sometimes I fall down. I too was scared. You inherently know what is right and wrong and you can build yourself into the person that you want to be in this world despite your genetics and upbringing. If anything just know, in yourself, that you have determination and power to stop the cycle. You will be guided. You are not alone.
You are doing this! Keep on moving forward.
You can believe in a power of a community to help you to remain sober.
You can believe in the strength you have been given to make the right decision to stay sober for another day.
You can believe in the power of prayer. Fake it till you make it kind of deal.
You can believe in the power of structure.
All of those things above keep me level and sober. This community has given me a lot of strength, compassion and understanding. I have leaned on this community to help me to stay the path. Strength and love in numbers.
My parental units did not offer me security in any form. I didn't even know what stability or security looked like until I started to build it for myself. Both of my parents are addicts and have unhealthy behavior that is generational. A lot of their "stuff" I did not take on. Some of it I did. I was angry with my parents for more years than I can count.
I am not my mother or father and I have not made the same detrimental decisions they have. You are not your parents either. It is okay to be fearful but do not let fear stop you from creating a life that you can be proud of.
I vowed to carve my own path. It is not an easy trek and sometimes I fall down. I too was scared. You inherently know what is right and wrong and you can build yourself into the person that you want to be in this world despite your genetics and upbringing. If anything just know, in yourself, that you have determination and power to stop the cycle. You will be guided. You are not alone.
You are doing this! Keep on moving forward.
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