Courage
 

Trying to find the strength to not drink, not just when I have spent all my money, Tell myself that I could always borrow, but don't.
To be honest I'm ashamed of going back to the same people again and again, knowing the realise what the money is for, I don't pretend it's for something else, just don't say.

James, have you ever tried a sober tracker? Like an online counting thing to track sober days and money saved? I use one called “I am sober”. It is an app thing that counts the days, minutes and seconds I have been sober as well as the money I have saved. This might be something that helps you.

I use that app as well. It is great. And really helpful!

Welcome to the family. :) It's hard at first, but staying sober does get easier with more sober time. Another thing I recommend is practicing gratitude every day. :) That has helped me a lot in the last 11 yrs. :)

Courage
I don't know it it takes courage, but it certainly takes commitment. The commitment not to drink, no matter what, and the ability to handle the discomfort that comes with that commitment.

Hi James. I tried to keep my mind occupied - even if it was just watching tv. Posting here at SR really saved me a few times. Everyone understands, like no one else can. We're glad you're here. You're never alone - any time of day or night.

Especially with my anxiety, I mean alcohol aside, I don't have issues I have subscriptions! Anyway I remember a Friday night thinking the liquor store will be crowded. I will have to stand in line and talk to people. Screw that I think it would just be easier not to drink. It would be easier to just stretch out, get changed and go for a run. Several hours after I will probably feel better then several hours after drinking when the ease and comfort begins to turn into dur, dur, dur and flopping around like a lazy dope.

Big breakthrough, it is actually easier to just stay sober tonight.

Forget having to bother people its just easier to stay sober.

Hi and welcome James :)

Support really made the difference for me. It meant the world to me to know I was not alone and that I was understood.
More to the point I wanted what all these folks had a happy sober life :)

we can help you get there too James :)

D

Welcome to SR James. You've got the strength to make changes, there is no doubt.

Surrender is what it takes in my experience. Surrender to everything; first and foremost than I’m alcoholic 🙏

With a daily plan and support you can get through this.
Lots of good suggestions up there. One day at a time is how we are all staying sober. :)

This. You must surrender and admit you’re an alcoholic. Then it’s about time and healing. And then it’s about a new life that awaits you.

Thank you to everyone for your kindness, I'm 45, and this is not the first time I have tried to stop.

Once lasted 18 months, so know the pain and struggles. This period has brought me to things, places, behaviours I thought I could never do,

I must not just save my health, but my soul.

I'm going to second carl on this one. When you finally find sobriety, you will look back and this and realize that it didn't take courage. It didn't even take that much will power, except for the first week. Yes, that first week tormented me. Courage is something we exhibit when we face fear. I'm not sure what your fears are (I had them to), but you will look back at your fears and wonder what the fuss was about. OK, people fear the unknown. That's almost universal, but really think about it. What would you fear might be unknown to you about getting sober? Yes, you will make changes, you will make some new friends, and there will be surprises, almost all very very happy surprises. But none of them worth an once of your fears.

AA talks about alcoholics avoiding sobriety, because they are searching for the easier softer way. But the paradox is that sobriety IS the easier softer way. It requires no energy to pour a drink, even less to just pass on it and forget it.

I couldn't stay sober till I became willing to follow the program of recovery offered by Alcoholics Anonymous. To that end, here are the instructions I was given by my sponsor at the beginning:

1. Get on my knees every morning and every evening, asking "God" [use whatever label works for you] to keep me sober in the morning and thanking "Him" [ditto] before I go to bed for doing so.

2. Attend 90 A.A. meetings in 90 days (i.e., a minimum of one meeting per day for 90 days).

3. Read the first 164 pages of the Big Book, highlighting whatever jumps out at me (I've felt like that, thought that, did that).

4. Call my sponsor every day.

5. Get a home group and a service commitment.

"If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it -- then you are ready to take certain steps. At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not."