I will let you down
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Jeff, you know that you have lots of people here who care about you, and I'm one of them. Don't blame our members for not supporting you.
Do yourself a favor and get rid of the alcohol and get back on track.
Do yourself a favor and get rid of the alcohol and get back on track.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Glad you came out with what you are currently doing, Jeff, and I hope you won't feel too horrible when you sober up. From all I have experienced myself, coming out and getting sober are essential steps that bring a level of relief, but most of us, including yourself, know it's not enough. I really think you need some kind of quite dramatic turnover in what and how you have been doing in the past year or so, just stopping drinking and the same approach is unlikely to cut it far - sadly, addiction is very predictable. Again, speaking from my own recent experiences. You need solid plans and, more than anything, tools and acts to prevent relapses instead of just getting out of them as many times before, and also better strategies to deal with mental health issues and whatever challenges you. There are so many good treatments these days, none of these things are a life sentence or parts of your personality, unless you want them to be.
It's never good to read about anyone's relapse, but I don't think you truly let anyone down here... we don't really have that kind of power over each-other on an online forum I think. But people truly want to help and see you do things differently. Whether you get rid of the alcohol you currently possess, think about this when you wake up without the intoxication and start something new, more than just SR, working and exercising - there is a whole big world of awesome recovery approaches and support out there but we need to use them, not just take in passively!
It's never good to read about anyone's relapse, but I don't think you truly let anyone down here... we don't really have that kind of power over each-other on an online forum I think. But people truly want to help and see you do things differently. Whether you get rid of the alcohol you currently possess, think about this when you wake up without the intoxication and start something new, more than just SR, working and exercising - there is a whole big world of awesome recovery approaches and support out there but we need to use them, not just take in passively!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,550
When I first clicked on the video I thought it just another "poor me, pour me another drink" song from an old bloke with lots of money. Couldn't help but think of all the old dudes in some shelter somewhere trying their hardest to survive. Wondered whether they could relate to this song at all. They'd probably switch it off. No time for dreamers. And don't get me wrong, I like Johnny Cash. And don't get me wrong. I've relapsed heaps of times. 
I want everyone here to get sober Jeff, including you, but don't think a self absorbed video with maudlin lyrics are going to get you there. I think it's a bit audacious for him to say, "I will let you down." It sort of wraps being and a/hole to other people in poetry, somehow making it ok. It's not. Cheap tricks.
Everyone here has felt broken and alone Jeff, but it doesn't have to remain so.
What is it about sobriety you don't like?
I want everyone here to get sober Jeff, including you, but don't think a self absorbed video with maudlin lyrics are going to get you there. I think it's a bit audacious for him to say, "I will let you down." It sort of wraps being and a/hole to other people in poetry, somehow making it ok. It's not. Cheap tricks.
Everyone here has felt broken and alone Jeff, but it doesn't have to remain so.
What is it about sobriety you don't like?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,386
You seem to be beating yourself up pretty good Jeff so I’ll not add to that. I just hope you stop drinking.
Then I hope you decide to make some real, lasting changes, man.
Drinking is not a viable form of treatment for whatever’s ailing you.
D
Then I hope you decide to make some real, lasting changes, man.
Drinking is not a viable form of treatment for whatever’s ailing you.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Originally Posted by Dee74 
You seem to be beating yourself up pretty good Jeff so I’ll not add to that. I just hope you stop drinking.
Then I hope you decide to make some real, lasting changes, man.
Drinking is not a viable form of treatment for whatever’s ailing you.
D
Then I hope you decide to make some real, lasting changes, man.
Drinking is not a viable form of treatment for whatever’s ailing you.
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 2,576
I love Johnny Cash, and believe that he did the deal and died sober. I hope that you will follow suit Jeff. Sundays drinking were awful for me. I always said I would stop early enough so I didn't feel like heck on Monday, but it never worked for me. Hope you have better success than I did. Driving a fork truck with a hangover was gruesome, and dangerous. It seems that was part of your job description. (I could be wrong, I read a lot of posts).
I see you joined in 2015. I also got sober in 2015 with a week long relapse a few years ago. If you want to know how I did it, you can ask. Have I had triggers? Many, but I don't bite on them anymore. Life is so much easier on this side. I hope you can get back to it soon.
I see you joined in 2015. I also got sober in 2015 with a week long relapse a few years ago. If you want to know how I did it, you can ask. Have I had triggers? Many, but I don't bite on them anymore. Life is so much easier on this side. I hope you can get back to it soon.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Originally Posted by thomas11
why call it a relapse, how about we call if a lifestyle? Think about it. It is what it is.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,386
Originally Posted by thomas11
i made a little mess, I need to clean it up. life goes on.
I don't think there's anything little about these messes/episodes/relapses.
I don't read your posts and think there's a guy who's gone a little awry - I see a guy out of control but who's desperately trying not to admit that.
I'm not trying to rile you, annoy you provoke you or scare you, I'm just worried, Jeff.
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 192
Originally Posted by anxiousrock
Music is a huge trigger for me so I don't listen to it all the time. When I was drinking, I'd listen for hours! Videos, songs, interviews lol. YouTube took a hit with every drink I took.
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
Jeff, please consider what Dee is saying to you. Seriously. Have a quiet sit down with yourself and hear/feel what's going on within.
You're not a bad person. You're a good guy with some bad demons. It does not have to be this way forever, I promise.
Suggestion from one who cares: Stay home today. Drink lots of water to flush out the toxins. The risk of an accident at work is too high if you were drinking through until the dark of the night. Be safe. And talk to us. There are people here who will understand if you let us.
O
You're not a bad person. You're a good guy with some bad demons. It does not have to be this way forever, I promise.
Suggestion from one who cares: Stay home today. Drink lots of water to flush out the toxins. The risk of an accident at work is too high if you were drinking through until the dark of the night. Be safe. And talk to us. There are people here who will understand if you let us.
O
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,417
Originally Posted by MythOfSisyphus
You could also call it a choice. You don't have to keep repeating the same destructive cycle. The whole "Groundhog's Day" thing can end for good. There's an element of self sabotage here that's maybe not just addiction? In any event, you can get back to sobriety and steer your life into calmer waters.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
I'm glad you posted Jeff. It is perfectly OK to say you aren't feeling OK.
I hope the mess you made and reported very late last night is the metaphorical kind and that you are ready to clean it up and get yourself sorted out this morning. We cannot drink as part of any viable lifestyle man. Really nobody should, but that goes double for all of us RS folks.
Healthful pursuits have always been a thread that runs through your posts. I know you suffer too. Sometimes I think you have perfected the art of suffering. But we cannot drink through suffering because then it is only magnified and made that much worse.
Hang in there Jeff.
I hope the mess you made and reported very late last night is the metaphorical kind and that you are ready to clean it up and get yourself sorted out this morning. We cannot drink as part of any viable lifestyle man. Really nobody should, but that goes double for all of us RS folks.
Healthful pursuits have always been a thread that runs through your posts. I know you suffer too. Sometimes I think you have perfected the art of suffering. But we cannot drink through suffering because then it is only magnified and made that much worse.
Hang in there Jeff.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Originally Posted by Steely
When I first clicked on the video I thought it just another "poor me, pour me another drink" song from an old bloke with lots of money. Couldn't help but think of all the old dudes in some shelter somewhere trying their hardest to survive. Wondered whether they could relate to this song at all. They'd probably switch it off. No time for dreamers. And don't get me wrong, I like Johnny Cash. And don't get me wrong. I've relapsed heaps of times.
I want everyone here to get sober Jeff, including you, but don't think a self absorbed video with maudlin lyrics are going to get you there. I think it's a bit audacious for him to say, "I will let you down." It sort of wraps being and a/hole to other people in poetry, somehow making it ok. It's not. Cheap tricks.
Everyone here has felt broken and alone Jeff, but it doesn't have to remain so.
What is it about sobriety you don't like?
I want everyone here to get sober Jeff, including you, but don't think a self absorbed video with maudlin lyrics are going to get you there. I think it's a bit audacious for him to say, "I will let you down." It sort of wraps being and a/hole to other people in poetry, somehow making it ok. It's not. Cheap tricks.
Everyone here has felt broken and alone Jeff, but it doesn't have to remain so.
What is it about sobriety you don't like?
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