advbike

Glad you're doing well, Free. I found it not so simple, but doable. The first few months are the hardest, once you get through that you won't even think about it much. I just get the occasional urge, that quickly passes.

Take care of yourself and keep posting!

Free2bme888

Thanks all posters!

I was just posting on the thread “you know you’re an active alcoholic if…”. I was just assimilating that read to wanting to drink afterwards as if when you have teenage children in your home you would like to have more children! Not!!!

I would encourage any of us here wanting to get a little reminder besides reading their old posts to go onto that thread and subscribe to it. It is raw, painful, comical if you’ve had a few sober days or weeks in and can see backwards at how crazy our lives were and or are.


Very helpful and wonderful to be back here. Thank all of you so very much.

Free2bme888

Well, I’m bumping this because folks, if you step off that path, it might kill you, or you might do irreparable damage to yourself, others, your career, and relationships.

I took 6 and a half more MONTHS after this last post by me to get enough of my self determination and spiritual strength back to quit for good.

It took over TWO YEARS of drinking to get my head back on pointing forward and straight instead of pointing in my past with head hanging with low gaze from self loathing and shame.

Please, please, all of you. If you have quit for a day, a year, three years, etc. and the BEAST is lying to you in your own voice, DON’T listen. You CANNOT moderate. Ever. EVER. E V E R .

7+ months into my new life. It’s not perfect, but it WAY better than being stuck in the wash, rinse, repeat cycle.

Forwards

Thank you Free for the powerful original post, update and timely reminder that we cannot moderate EVER.

Keep going... after 3 years and 3 months for me it is still getting better!

All the best. Forwards.

DriGuy

The almost universal first step of every alcoholic trying to get better. The Fantasy Step. Even when being told that alcoholics can't moderate, we still do it anyway. I think this is helped along by the idea in the back of all of our heads, "Maybe I'm not an alcoholic, and I just need to cut down."

The book, Under the Influence, should be required reading, because it explains the biological reason why alcoholics can't moderate after the first drink. I read it and then a couple of months later actually tried to have one drink. It was awful, I was angry, antsy, and waiting for only one thing; I wanted the experiment to be over so I could tie one on. This is caused by the faulty breakdown of alcohol in the alcoholic's liver. It's a real thing, but we are seldom aware of it. Why? Because we avoid it by having another and another, each round making the symptoms a little worse than the last, and requiring yet another for a brief respite.

This is aided along by psychological head games based on misconceptions of who we are, what we are capable of, and who knows what else our buggered up minds can contrive? Alcoholism is more than just a mental disorder. It is that too of course, but it's also biological.

fishkiller

Glad toy made it back!
It is a Much better life

PhoenixJ

Support to you F2BM.