Can a person "outgrow" alcoholism? For lack of a better word?
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Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
Outgrow? I doubt it. I guess I'm having a hard time with the word choice. Being an addict isn't some adolescent malady like bad skin. But if what you are asking is whether we can permanently move beyond the things that can trip us up? I don't think we ever can move beyond those things. I think it actually might be a pretty damn sophisticated version of an AV at work to plant the thought that we have "risen above" and are no longer burdened with the lowly chains of addiction. Just a thought.
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Join Date: May 2016
Location: US
Posts: 264
I had that same experience with just turning the switched off. The first time was in 2017 and I took advantage of it thinking I could be a normal drinker again. After 4 months I started drinking again then after 3 years I prayed to god I could find that switch again. I finally did find it and turned it off again. Please DON'T take advantage of it RUN with it and never look back.
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,586
Hi babycat.
After I'd posted I did recall that you'd said, "for want of a better word". But it was too late, I'd already pressed Send.
And then I thought about it....
Maybe you're are simply experiencing the first flush of what it can mean to be sober, and you're really digging it.
Good reason to press on, could get even better.
Maybe the "honeymoon period" (?) is a necessary component of entering sobriety more completely? A type of defence, euphoria against the knowledge that we are now going to have to put the work in. This can be really scary.
A temptress maybe? A temptress designed to have us continue the journey we have thus far avoided.
But, unlike the temptation of alcohol offers reward we have not yet dreamed.
I'm hanging for it babycat. It never gets old.
After I'd posted I did recall that you'd said, "for want of a better word". But it was too late, I'd already pressed Send.
And then I thought about it....Maybe you're are simply experiencing the first flush of what it can mean to be sober, and you're really digging it.
Good reason to press on, could get even better.
Maybe the "honeymoon period" (?) is a necessary component of entering sobriety more completely? A type of defence, euphoria against the knowledge that we are now going to have to put the work in. This can be really scary.
A temptress maybe? A temptress designed to have us continue the journey we have thus far avoided.
But, unlike the temptation of alcohol offers reward we have not yet dreamed.
I'm hanging for it babycat. It never gets old.
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Living in Today!
Posts: 3,945
Originally Posted by babycat 
I am honestly baffled. I am 38 and have spent the better part of the last 16 years (longer if you count weekend binging ) drinking alcoholically. I mean often drinking around the clock, sneaking sips at work to avoid withdrawal, drunkenly posting embarrassing stuff on social media all the time, going to the ER due to withdrawal, keeping wine or gin next to my bed all the time. Last time I detoxed at the beginning of December I was around a fifth a day. I mean, I was bad.
I am now over a month and a half sober. I have had about this time before but it was not at all easy. I would feel great but knew it was just a matter of time till I was drinking again. On weekends I absolutely LONGED to get wasted at brunch. I romanticized drinking constantly.
Now, it is like something just switched off inside me. Or switched on? I just don't care to drink and it is frankly, ******* weird. I am NOT at all complaining, it is an absolute blessing but I also can't help but feel like wth??? When is the other shoe going to drop? Is it truly possible that this curse just lifted??
Now, I have mentioned in the past that my husband is also an alcoholic but I have always been worse. We have been sober together in this so I am sure that has helped. But again, this is not the first time we have done this together. At the end of every weekend we comment to each other how nice said weekend has been. We get stuff done, remember our conversations food and movies, go for walks etc.
Anyone else have such an experience? Could it be that my body and mind just both got fed up together? Is this just a temporary bliss? One of the strange things about me is that I always am anxious about something and when I am not anxious, while it is pleasant, I almost feel like something is missing. I guess this just feels to good to be true.
I NEVER want to go back to where I was before.
I am grateful, confused and cautiously optimistic.
I am now over a month and a half sober. I have had about this time before but it was not at all easy. I would feel great but knew it was just a matter of time till I was drinking again. On weekends I absolutely LONGED to get wasted at brunch. I romanticized drinking constantly.
Now, it is like something just switched off inside me. Or switched on? I just don't care to drink and it is frankly, ******* weird. I am NOT at all complaining, it is an absolute blessing but I also can't help but feel like wth??? When is the other shoe going to drop? Is it truly possible that this curse just lifted??
Now, I have mentioned in the past that my husband is also an alcoholic but I have always been worse. We have been sober together in this so I am sure that has helped. But again, this is not the first time we have done this together. At the end of every weekend we comment to each other how nice said weekend has been. We get stuff done, remember our conversations food and movies, go for walks etc.
Anyone else have such an experience? Could it be that my body and mind just both got fed up together? Is this just a temporary bliss? One of the strange things about me is that I always am anxious about something and when I am not anxious, while it is pleasant, I almost feel like something is missing. I guess this just feels to good to be true.
I NEVER want to go back to where I was before.
I am grateful, confused and cautiously optimistic.
it's AlcoholISM not Wasum
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,169
Can a person "outgrow" alcoholism? For lack of a better word?
Alcoholism is a life sentence. Outgrowing it is the fantasy of every practicing alcoholic. It's why many of us never stop drinking. Instead of quitting, we drink ourselves into stupor after stupor trying to prove that we can drink like normal people. You almost have to admire their dedication to the fantasy, even though their logic leaves much to be desired.
Can a person "outgrow" alcoholism? For lack of a better word?
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
I think I heard from your post that there is a "safety" right now given that you and your husband both quit drinking. This makes sense. There is no alcohol in the home and you both seem to be moving in the right direction.
What happens if your husband falters on his resolve?
Having a "dialed in" recovery life is what will get you through those moments when the "urge" strikes. The "urge" to drink will come, and its what we do with that "urge" that will make or break us. I really had to change my life and what I did with my life. I'm not saying your sobriety is contingent on your husbands sobriety at all. I can see how easy it is right now and when it gets hard, cause it will, there needs to be a plan in place for you. Only you
Many good responses here.
What happens if your husband falters on his resolve?
Having a "dialed in" recovery life is what will get you through those moments when the "urge" strikes. The "urge" to drink will come, and its what we do with that "urge" that will make or break us. I really had to change my life and what I did with my life. I'm not saying your sobriety is contingent on your husbands sobriety at all. I can see how easy it is right now and when it gets hard, cause it will, there needs to be a plan in place for you. Only you
Many good responses here.
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: Kerry, Ireland
Posts: 2,703
Originally Posted by NONIA
The last time I was in rehab the doctor said it would take 2 years for my brain to recover .
No outgrowing .
No outgrowing .
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 705
Originally Posted by Dee74
LOL. Baby cat, in the end, its good you have no urge to drink right now - I hope that continues a long time.
D
D
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,586
I was thinking same babycat. Wrong choice of words, and everyone jumped on the hook. Me included.
I guess people saw the the word "outgrow" and it triggered memories of their own experience/rationalisations and were compelled to the fore. Not a bad thing, though frustrating for you to read.
I think all of us have thought that we might "get over it." This is obviously not you, and definitely the number one step in finding long term, constructive sobriety.
Sorry for the misunderstanding.
Hope you continue to post and find the understanding you need.
Enjoy the day babycat, you're sober!
I guess people saw the the word "outgrow" and it triggered memories of their own experience/rationalisations and were compelled to the fore. Not a bad thing, though frustrating for you to read.
I think all of us have thought that we might "get over it." This is obviously not you, and definitely the number one step in finding long term, constructive sobriety.
Sorry for the misunderstanding.
Hope you continue to post and find the understanding you need.
Enjoy the day babycat, you're sober!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 705
Originally Posted by Steely
I was thinking same babycat. Wrong choice of words, and everyone jumped on the hook. Me included.
I guess people saw the the word "outgrow" and it triggered memories of their own experience/rationalisations and were compelled to the fore. Not a bad thing, though frustrating for you to read.
I think all of us have thought that we might "get over it." This is obviously not you, and definitely the number one step in finding long term, constructive sobriety.
Sorry for the misunderstanding.
Hope you continue to post and find the understanding you need.
Enjoy the day babycat, you're sober!
I guess people saw the the word "outgrow" and it triggered memories of their own experience/rationalisations and were compelled to the fore. Not a bad thing, though frustrating for you to read.
I think all of us have thought that we might "get over it." This is obviously not you, and definitely the number one step in finding long term, constructive sobriety.
Sorry for the misunderstanding.
Hope you continue to post and find the understanding you need.
Enjoy the day babycat, you're sober!
Thank you so much Steely, I really appreciate it. Ah well lol. Like you said, I am sober and I feel good!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,586
That's OK babycat.
I really felt for you as could see you trying explain and everyone else was running a different race. A good race nonetheless. "Growing Out Theory" proves to be pretty popular amongst us 'alcoholics' in the early days.
I used to think that after I'd sorted all of the psychological stuff that underpinned my drinking I'd be able to drink 'normally'. It was not not to be and found it to be a much more complex beast. Incredibly complex, but as simple as all get up and go after the decision is made to stop, and to mean it. To know it.
Well, I'm glad we got that sorted. My sister was telling me about a movie, "The Conversation". Two kids overhear two adults discussing what they believe to be a murder plot. It turns out that they'd misheard ONE word, and everything turned to shite. There was no plot, but a lot of people got into trouble. Something like that.
You could make a short short film out of this one babycat. It would be interesting.
Just want you to know that sobriety is so much much better babycat. Glad you are here.
I really felt for you as could see you trying explain and everyone else was running a different race. A good race nonetheless. "Growing Out Theory" proves to be pretty popular amongst us 'alcoholics' in the early days.
I used to think that after I'd sorted all of the psychological stuff that underpinned my drinking I'd be able to drink 'normally'. It was not not to be and found it to be a much more complex beast. Incredibly complex, but as simple as all get up and go after the decision is made to stop, and to mean it. To know it.
Well, I'm glad we got that sorted. My sister was telling me about a movie, "The Conversation". Two kids overhear two adults discussing what they believe to be a murder plot. It turns out that they'd misheard ONE word, and everything turned to shite. There was no plot, but a lot of people got into trouble. Something like that.
You could make a short short film out of this one babycat.
It would be interesting.Just want you to know that sobriety is so much much better babycat. Glad you are here.
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Join Date: Oct 2020
Posts: 112
I'm not sure what you mean by "outgrow." When I think of that word I think of kind of like you mentioned, an immature teenager or college student who eventually matures and realizes the partying lifestyle is not for them anymore. I don't associate outgrow with a person who has a drinking problem who stops and then starts again.
If you are asking if one day you will be able to drink again like a person who isn't an alcoholic -- well it depends. If you are truly an alcoholic then no. That'll never happen. You have a disease or whatever you want to call it that will not allow you to stop drinking once you pick up that beer or shot even if you want to. If you aren't a true alcoholic then of course yes you can but chances are if you are posting in this thread and alcohol has brought a lot of problems to your life -- you are an alcoholic.
You have to get away from the "maybe one day I can drink," type of thinking if you are going to truly quit for good. First of all, don't think in absolutes right now just worry about not drinking TODAY. Just take it one day at a time. Once you start getting some clean time as long as you are working hard to make the best of your new sober life you won't even want to go back to drinking even if you could. Trust me on that
If you are asking if one day you will be able to drink again like a person who isn't an alcoholic -- well it depends. If you are truly an alcoholic then no. That'll never happen. You have a disease or whatever you want to call it that will not allow you to stop drinking once you pick up that beer or shot even if you want to. If you aren't a true alcoholic then of course yes you can but chances are if you are posting in this thread and alcohol has brought a lot of problems to your life -- you are an alcoholic.
You have to get away from the "maybe one day I can drink," type of thinking if you are going to truly quit for good. First of all, don't think in absolutes right now just worry about not drinking TODAY. Just take it one day at a time. Once you start getting some clean time as long as you are working hard to make the best of your new sober life you won't even want to go back to drinking even if you could. Trust me on that
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