bcct

Hi,

I'm 17 days sober and appreciating the good sleep, the lack of hangovers, maybe even lost a bit of weight, looking/feeling physically healthy.

But mentally? I'm depressed, anxious and I can't concentrate on anything so I end up bored. I had big ideas of how productive, energetic and clear-headed I'd be sober. Truth is I'm getting nothing done and can feel myself sliding.

I know I'm frustrated about where I'm at in life. That was one of the reasons why I drank. The feelgood factor of the drink made the unsatisfactory life situation feel satisfactory. Now that I'm sober I FEEL the problem, but I'm struggling with finding the energy to fix it. Don't know where to start.

Any advice? Anyone else find this? I know its early days so perhaps I'm expecting too much too soon, but I don't want to get demoralised and go back to my old ways.

Respect to you all!

doggonecarl

Congrats on 17 days. It is early. You aren't going to fix your life in a couple weeks. But you are on track to do so if you remain sober.

FlyAgain

I’m 2+ years sober and very bored right now, what with dark winter, lockdowns and the rest of it.

I suppose I could drink again, that would fill some time. Back and forwards to the shops buying booze filled an hour, the wretching and pewking in the morning would fill another. Clearing up all the cans and bottles - boy that kept me busy for a bit. Still leaves plenty of time to add any destructive behaviours one could fit in - a huge choice of those.

After a while of filling my time like this I would then be even busier worrying how I’d pay the bills or get money for more booze - but it’s a busy life that, no time for getting bored! Plus got to squeeze in all that self-loathing!!

Sorry to be flippant but there’s nothing more boring than self destructive drinking. Well done on your first weeks! It’s awesome that you’re feeling better. You’ll soon find things to fill the time!

Anna

I think that you need a lot of patience in early recovery. I drank for about 3 years or so, and I wasn't going to be able to deal with all my problems in 3 weeks, which was what I hoped for. Recovery is a journey, a lifelong journey. Be patient with yourself as you learn new and healthy ways to manage life. I found it helpful to make a list every day of a few things I wanted to accomplish. I would cross the items off as I did them, and it made me feel like I was moving forward.

TheAten

Hi bcct

In this modern world, we’re encouraged to believe feeling bored is the most awful of all sensations! The world of commerce has encouraged this way of thinking to get us to buy items and services to alleviate this feeling. But - here’s the kicker - boredom is neither bad nor good, it simply is. It can’t kill or hurt you. Some of the best works of literature ever have come from boredom, where minds were allowed to wander with nothing to distract them. Boredom will come and go throughout your life. You’re 17 days in and that’s amazing! But is it early days - I would assume you didn’t decide to stop drinking after 17 days of drinking? Life won’t change miraculously in a short span of time. The thing with alcoholics/problem drinkers is that they are so used to replacing any feeling under the sun with alcohol, and that is the quickest of fixes. Sobriety is a long, slow journey, but like most things in life, the best things are always worth working at and fighting for. Don’t keep telling yourself “I’m bored!” as though it’s something to be aghast at. Just ride with it, it will pass. Boredom won’t kill you, but alcohol can and will and in more ways than just literally; also mentally, spiritually, physically, morally and financially. You’re doing great, keep going. It’s going to be so worth it and after some time you’ll look back and see how far you’ve come, and I can almost guarantee that that won’t inspire feelings of boredom.

Surrendered19

Hi bcct. While you have some time on your hands, rethink boredom. I think when our lives were chaotic drinking messes, so aptly- described by FlyAgain above, we never experienced even a moment of peace, calm or quiet. I think newly sober folks feel like they might be "bored" because they simply aren't used to being at peace. Not used to moving through a piece of time with a calm body and mind. I think what you could possibly be experiencing are your first feelings of calm and quiet in a long time, and you aren't accustomed to those sensations.

tornrealization

I actually recognized when I was bored in sobriety that, yes, my non bored self included the drinking, puking, shopping, anxiety, paranoia, and what an horrible way to combat such boredom.

I’ve been decluttering my house the last couple of months. Video games, net flix, reading SR. Lots of other better things to do. Or just sit there and enjoy the down time. Keep up the good work!

Steely

Twelve months of sobriety sees me no longer bored. Not because I am out there filling time with "activities", but because I am now left solely with my self, my mind, and which leaves no room for boredom. Yikes! I can be.

I'm thinking on who I am, and how I wish to behave, respond in this world without alcohol muting the process. I was afraid of myself, my power. I'm 'becoming'. And it's interesting

I wouldn't trade the art of 'becoming' for anything, least of all a shot of vodka. Not now. Now that I know. The purpose of alcohol is to defeat me in my struggle for selfhood, and that is not going to happen. Thinking, and being, is far more interesting.

I do like gardening tho. Jigsaws, too.

Congrats on 17 days bcct. Your journey has just begun.

Willbilly

Your brain has been rewired. I know mine has. Boredom has driven me to relapse more than once. I can tell you one thing I've learned to enjoy boredom a whole lot more than withdrawals. Dry heaving and having the sweats when taking a shower are not fun.

D122y

Boredom is a trigger. Deny the booze and see how it ramps up.

My big tool for all triggers is eating and exercise.

I just finished dinner. I had a can of garbanzo beans (with apple cider vinegar and olive oil) and a cheese quesadilla. Desert was a protein bar, apple sauce, and some dark chocolate.

I am pretty full now. Just dozed off watching football.

I am about an hour away from crawling into bed sober as a nail.

Thanks.

least

Here are some suggestions as to things to do.

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ething-do.html (Looking For Something To Do?)

RecklessDrunk

I think its around 20 days where staying sober actually becomes sort of normal. Where its going to take your AV (alcoholic voice) some work to get you to drink. Never under estimate the AV, but the AV is going to have work to do to get at you.

Try finding stuff to look forward to. For me running really helps. It gives me not only something to do but that physical reaction. That runners high, release of brain chemicals the way God designed the body to make itself feel good. That gives me much of the ease and comfort I wanted from taking a few drinks.

Sammy1980

I was so bored for about the first 6 months especially when spring and summer came around. When that would happen and it still does, I ask myself how does just holding a glass with alcohol in it make the boredom go away? I guess it just numbs our brain so we don't notice that we haven't moved anything but are arm and month all day. LOL how boring is that... that thought keeps me from drinking..
You can do this.

Mizz

I would rather stare at a wall for many hours then to go back to drinking. In fact, I did become fast friends with my wall when I was placed in a 21 day quarantine.

I'm not sure about you but my drinking only comprised of a few hours every night. I then had 22 hours to recover and clean up whatever damage ensued during those few hours.

DriGuy

Bingo!

You're just getting through the first part. Keep at it and don't drink, and the other stuff will sort out. But it will take some work.

Anna nailed it with "Recovery is a journey, a lifelong journey. Be patient with yourself as you learn new and healthy ways to manage life."

You are at the beginning of the journey. That's all. You haven't gone anyplace yet. And keep in mind this journey never ends, but that's not a depressing warning. Enjoy the journey, and that may be the next thing you want to learn.

bcct

Hi everyone.

Thanks for so many thoughtful replies. This is my first time posting and I'm quite taken aback by the responses. So many words in there that are ringing true.

I haven't told anyone that I believe I have a drinking problem (though I'm sure plenty can see it for themselves) and I haven't told anyone I'm trying to stop. I really didn't know who I was going to talk to. It's a huge relief to hear from people who understand. Thanks for sharing your experiences with me.

bcct

Thanks Anna. 'New and Healthy ways to manage life.' I tried making a list this morning. Didn't get much of it done, mind, but it felt good writing it!

bcct

'The purpose of alcohol is to defeat me in my struggle for selfhood.'

I think this expresses something I've been grappling with for a while. I don't have much to say except for that I will be thinking about this a lot. Thank you.

bcct

A few of you have talked about how much more dangerous alcohol is than boredom. Given that I accept that alcohol has contributed to destroying precious parts of mine and other peoples lives isn't it strange that one would need to have that pointed out. Should be obvious. Thank you.

sortofhomecomin

Boredom is sometimes an issue for me also. Have you ever tried Sudoku or Crossword puzzles? I do a lot of the former.