Chancellor

I'm at day 23 and Saturdays are my definite drinking nights as I have Sundays off. I have been feeling great, I had an awesome week and I accomplished so much this week. I even got an award at work today! And I've hit that part in the sober cycle where I am feeling so good my AV is taking charge and really trying to convince me to celebrate with a drink. Egh, it's so backwards but wow it's strong and convincing that it's a great choice. Celebrate feeling great, which is because I'm sober, with a drink. So ****** annoying - so this is mainly a vent, a realization that I cannot ever start to chill with my recovery, as the AV is right there with an amazingly convincing argument. Frustrated but sober. Here's to Day 24 tomorrow morning.

Steely

Those thoughts are designed to deceive you Chancellor. Designed to have you take another drink. It's what we've always done and sometimes we don't need much persuasion. Don't fall for it. It's a con, and you will be so disappointed if you do. Tomorrow.

Congrats on all of the positive achievements over last 24 days. Don't self sabotage, build on these gains and rejoice your sobriety with anything outside of alcohol. There is much to rejoice.

Cheers!

Dee74

I'm glad you thought it though Chancellor

D

Mizz

Posting here is exactly what this site is for! Yay!
How about some juice? Dinner? Hot tea?
I'm having all of those things tonight.
You will wake up feeling sooooooo great tomorrow.

Surrendered19

24 days is such an excellent chunk of healing time. That dirty little AV is up to no good. He wants to put you in an early grave. But you have all the power. Some really awesome person on SR once brilliantly observed that the AV talks a good talk, but he doesn't have any arms, so he cannot go get booze. It sounds like although frustrated, you have a good perspective on what is going on.

BlakeV

Similar case here. I have to repeat myself two things;(1) if I give up to that bottle, it will justify the next one after... (2) despite the envy, there is not a night that I regretted not having drunk. Dry January should be relatively easy for me (like I did in past years), the real test is after...

EllyB

Chocolate? Steak? ice cream? Buttery toast? A big hug? You can do it!

advbike

You're on it man, great job on the AV. It's our primitive brain that wants that buzz, just like it wants air, and food, and sex. When it wants something the thoughts just come to us, but they come through the mid-brain that is more creative. Sometimes it's almost funny how creative it can get and the lengths it will go to. Mine will sometimes hatch a plan that is months in the future, like going to Europe on vacation, because it knows that would tempt me to drink. Except it won't, haha. Not anymore.

Keep up that great work on observing your thoughts.

Zencat

Keep knocking the Beast (AV) down with conviction and determination.

"Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town."
- G Carlin

RecklessDrunk

This is the insanity of alcoholism. Its not the crazy things you may do after drinking. That just the chemical reaction to alcohol.

Insanity is when you are physically, completely sober. All the alcohol is out of your system. You know exactly what alcohol does, how you physically and psychologically react to it. Yet you still have the urge to drink it again. That's insanity. Recognize those cravings as insanity. The good news is these brief episodes of insanity get shorter and less frequent over time. Just not a perfectly sloping downward graph so don't panic in a quick spike of cravings or insanity.

fini

fixed that for you, Chancellor.
glad to see you are in charge.

lifewithart

Great insight from the OP! ALL THE LOVE

TheAten

This made me chuckle as literally as I logged onto hear I was thinking of a trip to Italy that I’m saving for in the summer (covid pending of course) and in my head was thinking of enjoying seeing the sights and sounds of Italian cities. I was imagining going to see a cathedral mid morning and then out of nowhere, a little voice in my head said “oh, and then wouldn’t just one glass of wine be nice?” I heard that voice, and was about to agree when my own voice came in stronger and just said “NO!” I actually laughed out loud a little at just how sneaky that (obscene word) is! It’s trying it’s hardest to try and away and cajole me, but I’m onto it now, hyper-vigilance - no means no!

DriGuy

This is where a lot of us fail. Our AV loves faulty logic.
Find the logical flaw in the following argument:

Normal people don't drink like alcoholics.
I feel normal, because I'm not drunk.
-------------------------------------<- something important is missing here.
Since I am normal, I can drink again.

What I noticed when I struggled with my drinking toward the very end was that I drank when I had a bad day, but I also drank to celebrate a good day. So what was causing my drinking? A bad day, or a good day? What I finally realized was that I drank because I was addicted to alcohol, and good days and bad days were just rationalizations for me to drink.

This is flawed logic that makes perfect sense to our AV. Understanding the AV is key to long term sobriety.

Willbilly

Trust me I know, the weekends are hard for me. I used to start at about 9-10am every Saturday morning and drink until I passed out around 2-3pm then wake up at 5pm and drink some more then pass out again. I am 2.5 months sober and I'm still having anxiety on the weekends due to this.

duane1

You ignore and deny the AV long enough and it dies. I’m 8 years sober now and that craving just isn’t a part of my life anymore. So trust the process and every day, the pull is just a little less.

Nonsensical

The AV's argument is essentially - "Hey, we just cleaned the whole house. It is spotless from top to bottom. Let's celebrate by bringing some mud in and throwing it at the walls!"

The argument's not all that convincing, really.

Great job on 25 days! Keep it going.