My Sober Birthday - 2!
01-14-2019
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,217
My Sober Birthday - 2!
Two Years Sober
Today marks my two years sober. I have tried quitting – or feigned trying to quit for a long time. I knew I had a problem about 28 years old – 8 years into drinking. I didn’t like the blackouts. But you know -that’s the PARTY age – so I started my tightrope act of trying to drink just enough to not get into trouble. That doesn’t end well.
I had a couple attempts and kinda quitting -then some real attempts at fully quitting. You’ll see I joined in 2015. I joined way before that. I don’t remember my handle. I remember people telling me how they wished they had quit my age. When the saying of “planting the seed” is used in regards to sobriety for someone - it definitely worked for me. I find that planting this seed even in newcomers who post once – may be saving a life. That seed continued to grow and grow. I knew in my heart my ultimate solution as going to be sobriety. I just struggled to accept it and approach it for many years. That seed kept growing and now I’m 2 years sober!
My first year this time was abandoning the super tri-fecta of goals. I always tried to quit drinking, start running 5Ks, cutting sugar and fats, all sorts of overly ambitious. While this approach works for some, that was too much for me. I’d fail one – let’s just give up on them all-ugh. This time, my first year was a simple goal – do not drink. I told people I was quitting for a year for my 40th. I knew I was planning to quit forever. I had days where I just needed to get through the night. My goal was stay sober that day – that hour. I eventually hit my 41 birthday and my new goal became 5 years. I mean my goal is forever. I just chunk it up into smaller goals. I can be anywhere on the spectrum between 1 day at a time to forever.
Things got better. Year one was done! Year two – lets address sugar and really get into exercise. That was working ok – then as we all know Covid hit. I was furloughed for 8 weeks. What a drinker’s isolation delight! I could- if I wanted to- drink night/day and not have to worry about work. I’m not going to sit here and say it didn’t cross my mind and occupy space. I fought it. I used logic of how a temporary high was going to bring out those super lows. I thought about what if the furlough was permanent, how’s being drunk all day going to help anything? I also got used to better things sobriety brings. So my goal went back to – do not drink this year. I did eventually add exercise but I still am a little too keen on the sweets. That will be year 3 goal I suppose.
Positive Changes: Sleep! Waking up refreshed is never getting old. Being able to - at any time of day or night- be counted on for emergencies or going out somewhere in the car. MY CONFIDENCE has improved. I am in a job I am luke warm about and keep getting passed over for full time better work at this place. I think it’s sexist reasoning but I see it for what it is. I’m not bogged with booze paranoia or thoughts. Things like – I deserved to be looked over. Or not even going for it. I’m not overreacting to how I feel – I want a new job next year. Confidence helps.
I am a big pets person. I lost a 2 year old kitty. It was heart breaking. It brought out grief for other cats/pets that I boozed the feelings away. I feel like I’m getting over it better instead of burying it.
I had goals to get closer to family. Being sober I’ve recognized some family is not healthy to try and get closer too. Others are, and I am confident we can talk and I’m not blacked out talking and wondering what I said.
I’m taking any type of problems/hits so much better. I am no longer doing this is the “END OF THE WORLD” reactions to things. I don’t miss the massive amount of self imposed Anxiety I was putting on myself.
I know I’m rambling and going on and on – but I’m so very excited to reach this milestone. I did it through Covid and other challenges. Others can too. Fake it until you make it. I constantly say “I don’t drink” in my mind and out loud. It’s just my reaction now to drinks. It helps.
SR has been a main tool for recovery for me. Annie Grace’s book – This Naked Mind talked to me too in how to think about things differently.
Major KUDOS to this site SR. I have a place to share. I also do a lot of lurking and reading. It helps remind me from where I’ve been. I like trying to help out newcomers when I can. Thanks for the great community guys and gals!
Today marks my two years sober. I have tried quitting – or feigned trying to quit for a long time. I knew I had a problem about 28 years old – 8 years into drinking. I didn’t like the blackouts. But you know -that’s the PARTY age – so I started my tightrope act of trying to drink just enough to not get into trouble. That doesn’t end well.
I had a couple attempts and kinda quitting -then some real attempts at fully quitting. You’ll see I joined in 2015. I joined way before that. I don’t remember my handle. I remember people telling me how they wished they had quit my age. When the saying of “planting the seed” is used in regards to sobriety for someone - it definitely worked for me. I find that planting this seed even in newcomers who post once – may be saving a life. That seed continued to grow and grow. I knew in my heart my ultimate solution as going to be sobriety. I just struggled to accept it and approach it for many years. That seed kept growing and now I’m 2 years sober!
My first year this time was abandoning the super tri-fecta of goals. I always tried to quit drinking, start running 5Ks, cutting sugar and fats, all sorts of overly ambitious. While this approach works for some, that was too much for me. I’d fail one – let’s just give up on them all-ugh. This time, my first year was a simple goal – do not drink. I told people I was quitting for a year for my 40th. I knew I was planning to quit forever. I had days where I just needed to get through the night. My goal was stay sober that day – that hour. I eventually hit my 41 birthday and my new goal became 5 years. I mean my goal is forever. I just chunk it up into smaller goals. I can be anywhere on the spectrum between 1 day at a time to forever.
Things got better. Year one was done! Year two – lets address sugar and really get into exercise. That was working ok – then as we all know Covid hit. I was furloughed for 8 weeks. What a drinker’s isolation delight! I could- if I wanted to- drink night/day and not have to worry about work. I’m not going to sit here and say it didn’t cross my mind and occupy space. I fought it. I used logic of how a temporary high was going to bring out those super lows. I thought about what if the furlough was permanent, how’s being drunk all day going to help anything? I also got used to better things sobriety brings. So my goal went back to – do not drink this year. I did eventually add exercise but I still am a little too keen on the sweets. That will be year 3 goal I suppose.
Positive Changes: Sleep! Waking up refreshed is never getting old. Being able to - at any time of day or night- be counted on for emergencies or going out somewhere in the car. MY CONFIDENCE has improved. I am in a job I am luke warm about and keep getting passed over for full time better work at this place. I think it’s sexist reasoning but I see it for what it is. I’m not bogged with booze paranoia or thoughts. Things like – I deserved to be looked over. Or not even going for it. I’m not overreacting to how I feel – I want a new job next year. Confidence helps.
I am a big pets person. I lost a 2 year old kitty. It was heart breaking. It brought out grief for other cats/pets that I boozed the feelings away. I feel like I’m getting over it better instead of burying it.
I had goals to get closer to family. Being sober I’ve recognized some family is not healthy to try and get closer too. Others are, and I am confident we can talk and I’m not blacked out talking and wondering what I said.
I’m taking any type of problems/hits so much better. I am no longer doing this is the “END OF THE WORLD” reactions to things. I don’t miss the massive amount of self imposed Anxiety I was putting on myself.
I know I’m rambling and going on and on – but I’m so very excited to reach this milestone. I did it through Covid and other challenges. Others can too. Fake it until you make it. I constantly say “I don’t drink” in my mind and out loud. It’s just my reaction now to drinks. It helps.
SR has been a main tool for recovery for me. Annie Grace’s book – This Naked Mind talked to me too in how to think about things differently.
Major KUDOS to this site SR. I have a place to share. I also do a lot of lurking and reading. It helps remind me from where I’ve been. I like trying to help out newcomers when I can. Thanks for the great community guys and gals!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Congratulations, Tornrealization. I'm glad you're doing so well and 2 years of recovery is great. I used to do 'The End of the World' thing too. It's nice to be a bit more balanced. 
And you're so right - waking up sober never gets old. 
Member
Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 277
This is an incredible post and really resonated with me. You offer hope and show how sobriety improves a life whilst not shying away from struggles both with and without alcohol. Very inspiring. Congrats on two years and a big thank you for a very inspiring post!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 2,547
Congratulations on 2 years!!! One part of your post especially resonated with me - how important it was to ONLY focus on drinking, not tackling everything else that was wrong with me (sugar, exercise, clean house, amazing job) all at the same time. That small shift can be a game changer.
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