Dee74

Never apologise for feeling scared - I was scared for 40 years - of most things - I thought alcohol was my magic potion but it just made things worse, so and then I got specifically scared of drinking again.

I realised then I was thinking in a passive way.
I hold all the Keys - I decide to go buy the booze, I decide to open it and I decide to pour it down my neck.

I had many things to drink over - valid, concrete things I could still drink over if I wanted to - but I don't because I reclaimed my power

How ever bad things get, I know drinking will only make it worse.
As bad as things might get I know there's got to be another solution - even if, for now, its just waiting the fear out

D

FlyingDutchMan

How are you feeling ShiftHappens? Hope the breathing is a little better

ShiftHappens

Thanks for thing of me FDM.

My doctor filled a limited script of Klonopin for me to help with withdrawals.

It's going to be bedrest for me for a few days. Just breathing and taking care of myself.

Its helping. I'm extremely tired.

Psych doctor sressed me out. They wanted me to check into a hospital for three the five days. This is to cover their arses against liability. This is not my first rodeo.

I do much better with less trauma in my own bed with my dogs.

Meditating, leaving on soothing music and just giving my mind a break.

I found a site based on The Sinclair method that seems interesting. May explore it more when my thinking is better.

There are many healing options out there now so I'm fortunate.

After Im better from this nightmare of the past week or so I will contact the psychiatrist again to see what can be done about keeping me on an even keel. OCD and anxiety seem to be what causes this for me.

Hope that wasn't too much information.

Thank you for your care and concern.

Hope you are doing well 🙂🌼

FlyingDutchMan

To be honest, you sound A LOT better than in your previous posts. That makes me happy. Take a good rest, maybe try and find a good podcast-series if you're tired of watching a screen?

Hope you have a good weekend!

Lixie

I agree, you sound much better. Maybe we can demote this crisis and call it a captain crisis?

FreeOwl

ShiftHappens......

I just wanted to say that I'll hold you in my heart today and that you can do this.

Stick around.

ShiftHappens

[QUOTE=Lixie;7576363]I agree, you sound much better. Maybe we can demote this crisis and call it a captain crisis?[/QUOTE


Lol. Yes, minor crisis is fine. At least I can breathe.

Thanks very much

ShiftHappens

Thanks FreeOwl

Very disheartening that I became so bad.

Appreciate your support 🙂

tornrealization

Please take care shifthappens. I’m rooting for you and I hope your at home bed rest goes well. Keep us posted.

ShiftHappens

Thank you TR. Even though according to a BAC all alcohol is supposed to be out of my system now, I'm exhausted and feel as though I have been through hell.

Guess time is what I need.

Thanks for being here!

Mizz

When I stopped drinking I really thought I was done for. I spent two days in bed with severe anxiety and depression. I just could not function. I thought I would not return to normalcy. It took about a week for my emotions and head to get level. I knew there was a better way and given enough time I would see it.
I surely felt like there was no end in sight to what I was enduring though. You will feel better and you will get through this. You will. Keep posting and keep coming back here. I hope I am not off base?

ShiftHappens

Not off base at all and thank you for the thoughtful reply.

Just so weird to me that the alcohol is gone but my face is sore, vision still weird and I'm a whiter shade of pale, as the song goes. Really messed with me.

what gets me is I really dont like alcohol at all. I was having one of my "episodes" and didn't know what else to do. Bizarre.

Thanks very much 🌻

Mizz

All of that makes sense. We grab for the one thing that will relieve our symptoms (supposedly) and then end up with a whole different set of issues. I dont know what these episodes are but I do suffer from anxiety episodes myself. I have not had a major "episode" since December. This forum saved me BIG TIME!

Its funny how alcohol will really tell us when enough is enough. My last escapade on alcohol island was not an abnormal drinking session. I didn't consume more than my usual large amount....I was expecting a massive hangover but my body said differently. My body said to me..."You cannot get away with this any longer. I will not stand for it!" I had to listen and oblige. I felt destroyed. Not just a hangover but it was more... It was debilitating. There really was not an option but for surrender and compliance.

I am so so so grateful I stopped. You will be too. You got this. I believe in you. One step at a time.

FlyingDutchMan

Clichés, I know...but you will never have to experience all this when you don't drink again. I hope that is possible for you, I really do. With a little help from your SR-friends a lot is possible.

Hang tight!

Steely

Hope you are continuing to improve Shift.

BeABetterMan

Tough to read this post Shift because I remember being there, a lot.

I collected self-induced traumas like baseball cards. No one has treated me more poorly than me. I tortured myself and poisoned myself, literally. To escape just being me. For some of us it is hard to just live in our own skin. BUT I firmly believe that every one of these episodes pushes us closer to our eventual freedom. One day, before we pick up that next drink, we will remember the absolute despair and we will say this uncomfortable feeling of living in our own skin is not as bad as what’s in that bottle so I will not drink the poison. I will not believe the lie it tells me.

Best wishes. And I personally believe that when coming off of a bender we should do anything and everything to regenerate our bodies and our minds. Do whatever feels good; sleep, eat, laugh, cry. Anything that gets you through this moment and on to the next that doesn’t include ingesting poison is ok. We are fueling up to fight again. You’ll fight again. But for now, just rest easy. Take care of Shift. You deserve it.

Delilah1

I hope you’re continuing to feel better Shift.

Dee74

Hope the rooms stopped humming harder, Shift

D

MythOfSisyphus

How's it going today @ShiftHappens? Are you feeling any better?

ShiftHappens

Feeling hopeless.

Thanks everyone.