Drank All Day Yesterday For No Reason
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: Great Lakes
Posts: 139
Originally Posted by whitejay 
hi bornsurvivor - no one was with me - I consistently have urges to drink, they never go away - so, here I was at a nice restaurant and it was if I was a robot, the
waiter came to my table and asked me what I would like to drink and out of my stupid mouth came " I'll take a top shelf margarita with lots of salt "...
I dont even drink tequila !!!! I just am too impulsive and I need to get it in check fast or something really bad is going to happen. Ive already used up my nine lives (so disturbing).
My soul has been crushed by years of this behavior, that I feel soul less. I feel like a robot, a piece of dirt and shame, lots of shame.
so, I know I am on my last leg - I am getting on naltrexone - vivitrol shot among other things. I would give everything I own away from my clothes to my house
if someone could just explain why my brain is so messed up....I would rather be homeless than a miserable drunk.
thanks for caring
waiter came to my table and asked me what I would like to drink and out of my stupid mouth came " I'll take a top shelf margarita with lots of salt "...
I dont even drink tequila !!!! I just am too impulsive and I need to get it in check fast or something really bad is going to happen. Ive already used up my nine lives (so disturbing).
My soul has been crushed by years of this behavior, that I feel soul less. I feel like a robot, a piece of dirt and shame, lots of shame.
so, I know I am on my last leg - I am getting on naltrexone - vivitrol shot among other things. I would give everything I own away from my clothes to my house
if someone could just explain why my brain is so messed up....I would rather be homeless than a miserable drunk.
thanks for caring
You should not say you are a miserable drunk .
You need a good mantra !
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 754
Hey Whitejay, it’s a good thing that we are seeing you here on a regular basis. As you have noticed there are a lot of SR-members who are concerned about you and I am among them.
It’s so hard to keep that long term perspective in mind when your every day struggle is so hard. Do whatever it takes. You will not be feeling like this for the rest of your life. And if you post something everyday, you can read back on it later on, hopefully sparking a wish that you never want to go through it again.
Thinking of you Whitejay, I don’t know if it helps but I am going to do it anyway!
It’s so hard to keep that long term perspective in mind when your every day struggle is so hard. Do whatever it takes. You will not be feeling like this for the rest of your life. And if you post something everyday, you can read back on it later on, hopefully sparking a wish that you never want to go through it again.
Thinking of you Whitejay, I don’t know if it helps but I am going to do it anyway!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 2,578
How are you doing White jay? I wanted to share that I have a relative who struggles with depression, who received TMS therapy. It helped her very much -- after a couple weeks she felt like it had helped her to reset and get in a much better frame of mind. I know it's a big commitment, but I just wanted to let you know our family's experience of it was very positive.
Whatever you decide, keep.posting -- we're here for you.
Whatever you decide, keep.posting -- we're here for you.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 754
Hey Whitejay, I still check in every day to see how you are doing. It worries me that you are not posting and I really hope you are okay. Maybe you have the feeling you have nothing to contribute at this moment, but I think that’s not true. If you are not feeling well, we won’t be able to lend an ear if you don’t share it with us.
If I made the wrong assumption, my sincere apologies.
Hope to hear from you very soon, all the best and stay safe, ok?
If I made the wrong assumption, my sincere apologies.
Hope to hear from you very soon, all the best and stay safe, ok?
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