freedomfries

Yesterday I took some Ativan and drank two bottles of wine. Then I went to the store and judging by my bank statement I bought sixteen cans of çider. I think my parents threw them out when I passed out.
​​out.
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I was almost four months sober, the longest I've ever managed.

Today I'm drinking cheap vodka from the bottle and I've taken Ativan. I don't have enough to black out.

I'll probably finish the rest of the vodka then start my sober journey again.

rodyda

Sorry to hear you relapsed, four months was a nice spell away from it. Glad to have you here and hopefully you can build on that four months and go for longer this time. Take care of yourself.

Hevyn

Freedom - I hope you're more determined than ever to get free of it. It's not fun, relaxing, exciting, or any of the other things we imagined it was. It means to destroy us.

nez

What purpose is served by finishing the vodka?

Mizz

Freedom.
It seems to me that you are abusing the Ativan. I am not even sure why you have this prescription considering its addictive quality? Are you telling your doctors the truth of your situation? Ativan is not to be used with alcohol. You already know this.

Also, with your psych meds I really do think that you are setting yourself up for another episode. You worked really hard to get out of the hospital and to get yourself feeling better.

I was wondering what happened to you. If you can give the remainder of the Ativan to your Mom or Dad that would be really helpful.

Hodd

Probably finish the vodka and start again you say?

Why show some backbone and pour it away now. This is disappointing, FF. You have to work at sobriety. It’s something to be cherished and guarded.

Whatever you’re doing isn’t working and needs to change drastically. Sorry to read this.

advbike

Yeah man, I was worried about you too. Sorry to hear, but you can pick yourself up again. The sooner you do it the easier it will be, in my experience. I think we were all worried when you mentioned they were putting you on Ativan.

Surrendered19

Ouch FF. That sounds awful my friend. I know you probably won't dump out the vodka but will you dump out the vodka? I hope so. Even if you are already hammered today, tomorrow will be survivable in reverse correlation to how much vodka you drink today. But regardless, keep posting and let us know how you are doing. I trust it is as miserable as it sounds.

Wastinglife

Mixing benzodiazepines with alcohol is very dangerous. The combination lowers your heart rate and slows your breathing. Basically, you can fall asleep/pass out and die in your sleep because you stopped breathing.

People will say to pour out the vodka etc. I have never been able to dump booze if I'm already drunk so if you're like me and always finish what you have, then you really need to leave the Ativan out of it. Mixing Ativan with booze is like playing Russian Roulette.

Anna

FF, I hope you rethink taking Ativan, and especially taking it with alcohol. At least, be sure the doctor who prescribed it knows that you are an alcoholic.

I'm hoping you pour out the remainder of the alcohol and start your sobriety journey today. You have 4 months to build on.

least

You don't have to finish the vodka. You can pour it out and start over - now. And mixing alcohol with benzos is never good.

anxiousrock

The Ativan part of this really scares me . I'm sorry to hear of your relapse. I'm glad you are back and posting....when you finish the vodka....then what?

FlyingDutchMan

Take a long hard look at your signature and I hope you can make the right decision, I really do.

Stay safe!

SoberLeigh

This is very dangerous behavior, freedomfries. Pease pour the vodka out; call your doctor and be totally honest about this episode and all medications you are taking.

A stronger program could be very beneficial - inpatient rehab?

In all honesty, I am afraid for you, freedomfries.

Briansy

Mixing benzos and alcohol also has social consequences. Frightening levels of disinhibition. You could do or say anything. I'm sorry things took a bad turn and wish you well in turning it around.

thomas11

First things first, that is your safety. Then work on the next steps. Sorry to hear you relapsed FF. Hope you have eaten and are sleeping right now.

Hodd

We all are, SL. This is serious stuff

ScottFromWI

I do hope you are able to come back FF, if nothing else let your parents know so they can get you to urgent care if need be.

Steely

To see you come back after relapse has me know you want sobriety FF.

I've only ever been able to dump the remainder once in my life, and must say it was empowering. Sober now for 12 months and it's taken me a long time to get here. It would kil me to return. And seriously don't want to because it is so much better being sober.

You have been through a lot FF so relapse is not off the cards, doubt anyone here could say differently. Chalking up 4 months was a mighty effort.

If you are not able to dump the remainder please follow through with your resolve to continue your sober journey tomorrow. You will have learned a lot from this experience and can now start building again.

I agree with everyone about the Ativan FF, it's a dangerous combo.

Onwards we push.

Dee74

I hope you decide not to drink the rest FF.

D