Backtogood

Okay, I know the benefits to myself and my family, especially my son. But I am just saying it sucks. I have to reinvent myself. New habits, new people, new sleep schedule, new everything. AND i love being sober (have my moments) but i truely enjoy not drinking or being messed up. I can't sleep not drinking, can't sleep drinking now. Idk. I guess i am just saying, sometimes it sucks.

Cityboy

I felt kind of broken at first but never felt like it sucked.

It was more the contrary. The more distance that was put between drinking me and sober me, the more I realized how much drinking life sucked compared to sober life.

WaterOx

What day are you on?

PalmerSage

How long have you been sober? I felt like it sometimes sucked at the beginning (although still not as much as drinking) but it got WAY better over time.

Backtogood

i have been back and forth 24 sober, drink 8...22 days sober and drink 10.

RecklessDrunk

It sucks waking up hungover.
It sucks waking up with supercharged anxiety.
It sucks waking up with a relentless headache.
It sucks waking up in jail.
It sucks losing driving privileges (even if you are fortunate enough to plead out of dui/dwi).
It sucks destroying relationships with beautiful women.
It sucks isolating from friends.
It sucks sitting in the waiting room of the county probation office.
It sucks destroying a potential 6 or 7 figure income.
It sucks having any kind of nice dinner or event revolve around your drinking.
It sucks not knowing what you did to disgust people the night before.

Just a few of mine, yours may vary.

Backtogood

Nailed all the reasons to be sober and i love it. I'll just saying sometimes its, in your face, challenging.

least

Getting sober can be difficult, but living sober is all the reward I need. My sober life is peaceful and happy and content. I lost all desire to drink when I started practicing gratitude every day.

https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/22/o...pier.html?_r=0

travelbug

Living sober saved my life. That is all I need to stay sober

EllyB

It is kind of like being in a limbo, at least early on. I think it depends on your experience. Some people seem to have immediate improvements in their lives, but not everyone.
Like, I had physical issues that led to me quitting in the end, and definitely wasn’t always there when I was drinking, but didn’t have terrible hangovers or blackouts or nasty fights. Withdrawal and PAWs have been much more uncomfortable than anything I experienced while still drinking.I really am doing things to help deal with some of my discomfort (gratitude, yoga, meditation, therapy, etc.), but yes, early sobriety can really suck. I hope that as I improve on my recovery plan, put in more work and the urges and PAWS recedes, I will feel more positive about it all. I really can’t go through withdrawal again— I am still recovering from it 3+ months later. And I really was declining rapidly by the end physically. But when I compare how I felt mentally even 6-9 months ago to now? I know it was fake contentment, but it was better than spending 2x as much effort to be half as content.

Mizz

It is true that a person has to want to be sober more than they want to drink.

There are too many negative consequences for those of us who cant control our drinking. It all adds up so quickly.

What would suck more is an action taken that is irreversible and life altering.

It is very hard initially to quit. The reward is a general peace of mind and a good life waiting to be lived.

ScottFromWI

Life itself is in your face - and can be immensely challenging at times. I know that's a big reason I drank - to try and avoid having to face up to the hard stuff in life. At first it was shyness/social anxiety - drinking allowed me to fit in and be a more "fun" person. It also took the "edge" off at the end of a hard work day. Or helped me get to sleep, or "get away from it all". But eventually I got to the same place you were - it no longer worked for any of those things and I needed to drink just to keep withdrwawals at bay and keep my heart rate down.

So yes- when you quit drinking....none of that other hard stuff that we tried to stuff down a hole ever goes away, it's just waiting for us. And, yes - I would agree that it sucks, but it's the reality of this life and planet we live on. Having said that, the initial stages are the hardest. 28 days is a great run of being sober, but it can take months, even years sometimes, to face our challenges ( mental, physical, social, etc ).

And it's perfectly fine to be unhappy at times....you have a sounding board here at any time if you'd like to share.

Obladi

I wonder if what is really sucking for you is the cycle. That absolutely positively sucks rotten eggs. Get sober, stay that way for a bit, have a tussle with craving, break down and drink, get sober again. Just writing it down makes my stomach turn - it is truly the most misery I ever experienced. And I did it for years!

All I can say is that for me, when I made the decision to not drink now, something changed. It took the debate right off the table. Instead of wanting to drink, I instead said (cried, pouted, raged), “This is exactly what would have made me want to drink in the past. But I don’t drink now.” (More pouting, raging, and in general carrying on often followed, but I didn’t drink.) Changing from “never again” or “just for today” to “now” was the only thing that computed for me. Still does.

So yeah, it sucks. But once you push through the really sucky parts, it gets better. Boring better, quiet better, but better nonetheless. I’m willing to bet it gets even better than that, but I haven’t experienced that part yet.

The thing is... if I stay sober, there’s a chance for way better. If I drink, there’s absolutely zero chance that it won’t keep right on sucking.

O

EllyB

This makes sense to me. Early sobriety can be pretty sucky. Dying a miserable death would suck even more.

Wastinglife

I can pretty much check all those off on my list. I've lost everything and it's gone for good.

EllyB

I agree with the middle two sentences and am willing and happy to believe the last one. But the first sentence is worrisome. If it really is true for success, then I guess I won’t make it.
I don’t really know enough about being sober to want it. I still want to drink like I drank 20 years ago (a couple times a week, a couple of drinks) but I know that isn’t possible ever again, and continuing to drink will kill me. Being sober is therefore my only option, and I need to make my peace with that and pursue it as my main goal for the foreseeable future.

least

You have to take a 'leap of faith' into the great unknown and accept that it will likely be better than the awful 'known' that drinking is.

Dee74

My drinking life sucked. My sober life has been hard, but it never sucked like my drinking life did.
I wanted to reinvent myself...I wanted to get back to the real me...I wanted to be that stand up guy again.

The initial phase is challenging - our minds and bodies have to heal from all that self abuse...the lack of sleep, mood swings, fear of change and FOMO (fear of missing out)...but that only lasts a little while.

You'll get through this BtG

BeABetterMan

There is certainly some suffering involved. I don’t have much to say, except that I agree. This is not easy work. But we just keep getting up and keep whacking at it. What’s our other option? Go back to hell? Let’s stay on the ladder.

RAL

For me, the first few days are always awful. I can't sleep, feel depressed, anxiety through the roof, angry, tense, and I know if I have a drink it will get rid of all that. But I also know that after those first few days it does get hugely better, sleep improves anxiety almost disappears and I feel peace of mind.

I'm only 5 weeks in this time but already feel and look so so much better. But it's been a while since I even had 5 weeks. I could do a week but felt so bad I just picked up again. I know that in that never ending cycle of quit for a few days then pick up again I was always in the rough first few days sober and never gave myself any chance to feel the good bits, the real benefits that come after the first couple of weeks. Maybe you are in the same cycle.