Be123

Getting sober hasn't sucked for me - but life sucks.

Hahahaha! - what a cheery Sunday morning post 😂

But it does suck sometimes, and without alcohol to run away to I need to front up to stuff that i'd much rather I didn't need to. And then there are consequences of my drinking which don't go away, they are part of my story and who I am.

I think the thing lots of people have hinted at is: What is the alternative? Is drinking any less sucky? Not for me, absolutely not. At least I realise when life is sucking now 🤷‍♂️

FreeOwl

I think I can relate.... the GETTING sober part comes with a lot of challenges, a lot of needing to get really honest, a lot of needing to look at our own lives in ways that can be really uncomfortable. It comes with loss, as well. Though a lot of focus in recovery is on embracing the new and the possible and the growth and the presence of life - too often we forget to just acknowledge that there is also LOSS, and loss comes with grief.

• We lose connections - often longtime friends and peers will drift away or we will have to let them go
• We lose traditions and rituals - regardless what the real impact on our lives was, when we stop going to bars, stop attending rager parties, let go of habits that influenced our addiction, those are also things we've come to find a part of who we 'are'.... so it's ok and healthy to acknowledge those losses and even grieve for them.
• We lose familiarity - our addictions and our habits "feel" familiar and humans, human brains, are comforted by the familiar
• We lose sleep!!! Boy, did I lose a lot of sleep in my early days of sobriety
• We lose an image of ourselves - though we know it's an image we no longer want..... still, letting go the image of our drinking selves means we become a little un-tethered and 'who we are' now needs to be re-defined. That can be a confusing and scary part of recovery at first.

All in all, these losses - when we look at them in later sobriety - aren't such great losses after all. And many of them - when sobriety's focus arrives - are actually not losses at all. But, along the way - all of them can feel kinda like 'recovery sucks'.

It helped me to look at those losses, honor them as such, journal about them, write them on paper and burn the paper ceremonially, work with my therapist about them, and generally give myself space to acknowledge that there IS plenty of "this SUCKS" in the process of recovery....... but it is ALL worth it.

Surrendered19

I understand the sentiment that you are expressing Backtogood. Each of us yearns for an easier way to do this. But being sober is sort of like birthdays. You don't necessarily relish the milestone, but there is no workable alternative. You either celebrate your birthday. Or you don't. Much like sobriety. Life isn't perfect, and living a good honest peaceful quiet life takes some intentional effort, but the only alternative is back to the grim debased madness of drinking.

Backtogood

Day 2, going to get it done, knock out the 1st week. Then I usually start feeling much better. I have to recognise that I can't drink, its not an option. It will get better with your help and support, and other tools I pick up along the way. I wish I could fast forward to next Friday lol. Or maybe I need the suffering of week one to remind me the next I feel like I want to pick up a drink.

lessgravity

BtG - what sucks is not sobriety, it's the terrible pain that comes from being on the see-saw of quitting/drinking/quitting that you describe. That's not "getting sober" - that's just drinking with the hope of, one day, getting sober.

Yes, getting sober requires work and sacrifice and adjustment and change - but most things that are good or worthwhile or lasting or important take that kind of work. In fact, life itself is much, much easier sober. It's the drinking that's so hard.

When I used to drink, quit, drink harder, quit, drink again - I was the father of a young boy. Although I would give anything to go back and be sober for my son's early days, now, in my permanent sobriety, I am the father I knew I was always capable of being. Same is there for you - for the taking.

Sounds like you are intent in knocking out week one - but what about after that? What's the plan?

brighterday1234

Drinking for me really sucked. There was nothing good about what it did to me and my existence. Getting sober is the best thing I’ve ever done and has given me a truly blessed existence.

Vincent484

The hardest part for me has been cutting off all my friends. And I mean all my friends. All of my relationships were based around alcohol.

Dee74

That was tough for me too Vincent but I made new friends, and reconnected with old ones from the days before my drinking started in earnest.

I'm sure you will too - its worth building this new life

D