rodyda

I’m just trying to find some common ground other than just simply being addicted to a common enemy. I see in a lot of the people’s experiences that I’ve read here, that they were decades long drinkers, who were often beer and wine bingers, I’ve not yet seen a story off skimming the top that relates to hard spirits. Just curious if anyone has experience there, seeing as how that’s been my main problem for years, it seems like a much more violent and messy road at times that doesn’t feel like you get decades with it. I was just curious if anyone has experience dealing with this problem, would love to hear from them. Thank you.

Surrendered19

I don't think the means of delivery of alcohol really matters that much rodyda. I might not be understanding what you are wondering about. I drank all of it. I would have an open bottle of vodka between my legs in the car driving my young daughters home. Or a bottle of wine. Or my 14th beer. All of that was the same.

rodyda

I guess maybe I’m trying to find some common ground with someone else with experiences I guess. I feel like since I turned 21 it’s pretty much been nothing but heavy spirits for me, beer is something I lost a taste for after that. I’m not really sure entirely what I’m asking yet either, I may be a little paranoid about the heaviness with which I attacked the bottle at times as it pertains to my health and how I’ve felt? Still trying to kinda figure out how to collect my thoughts here and inquire things, so bear with me.

Raeven58

There was a time I would drink a 5th of whiskey in a day, 4 or 5 days a week. Switched to.vodka so I could buy a larger bottle to make it last longer, it didn't. Finally switched to wine to feel virtuous and not as bad...didn't work. We all have a different tolerance and our own demons.
you're here, that's a great start on a good path.

Ladysadie

Rodyda - I never could enjoy beer or wine. I always heard beer put a belly and a butt on women, and wine stained your teeth. I was vain enough to leave them alone for that reason. I became a vodka person in my late 50s and progressively drank one specific brand with OJ or diet tonic. Anything sweeter like a cosmo gave me a headache as did bourbons, rum, scotch and tequila. Funny how some of us are but I was drinking alcoholically for the past five years. I have ruined or have no memory of conversations or arguments, many vacations were a waste of money as I could be drunk all day. I nearly drowned a couple of times at all-inclusive resorts. Worst of all my health had suffered. I have extremely high blood pressure and most of my lab work shows signs of vascular issues (heart attack and/or stroke). My liver enzymes are too high to go on a statin to control my cholesterol. I quit immediately after finding my results and have to say it was more mental (being scared of dying). I have lost weight (almost 20) and am trying to clean up my diet. I bought the book "Liver Rescue" which has been helping me to detox and help my liver recover. I take a BP medication only. Foods can help support your withdrawals and recovery. So much about quitting and healing is physical (getting more exercise like walking) but for me it was that mental shift that I was ready to make. All aspects of my life have gotten better. I still have sleep issues but am sleeping for more hours now. It takes time. Good luck to you on your journey and God bless.

sugarbear1

I used to drink whiskey or bourbon, and I sure drank a lot of it. By the time I was in my early 30's, I had to stop the liquor since it kept making me full of rage and anger and I acted out on it. Problem with liquor? Sure. Solution? Sure: stop drinking liquor and drink beer. Problem solved.

I was able to continue drinking alcoholically for many more years.......

I am a chronic relapser and have been attempting sobriety since 1984. I have it today, but it took a long time for me to acknowledge it and to start to treat it.

It's not about the type of alcohol we drink, it's about how we feel about the drink, how we react to it, etc.

Slow down, breathe, and start to enjoy your sober journey. Be present in each moment. Keep moving forward!

PuckLuck

I drank nothing but hard liquor for 15 years. Started with rum, then bourbon, then whiskey. Eventually all the brown liquor made me violently ill. Then I switched to nothing but vodka. Heavy vodka drinker the last 6 or so years of my drinking career. And it wasn't glamorous. It all got me into a boatload of trouble.

brighterday1234

Alcoholics stories are all different but have the same main theme: couldn’t live with it, couldn’t live without it.

Grateful to be sober 🙏

rodyda

Thanks a few helpful things here. I think I do tend to have anxiety with it a lot, and the anxiety for my health has led me to keep it from becoming a worse problem before I finally fell over the deep end the last year or so. The way I was had really messed with my head a lot, and I’m still grappling with it and trying to understand how I got there but also how to move forward in a new journey with a sustained sobriety.

ScottFromWI

Welcome to SR rodyda. Anxiety was deeply embedded in my struggle with alchol my whole life, and looking back it's likely one of the very reasons I started drinking in the first place. After many years of course it ended up making the anxiety even worse. Everyone is different, but for me - getting sober would not have been possible if didn't also acknowledge my anxiety as a separate, diagnosable and treatable condition. Health anxiety was one way that it manifested with me too, have you ever sought help in that area?

In any case, you are in the right place and I'm glad you joined us.

DOCBOM

I drank anything that poured or I could get my hands on
my last run was 95% beer,something different if I ran out
I told myself after a stint of sobriety if I only drink beer I can handle drinking
the lies we tell ourselves is crazy

Obladi

royda, I'm glad you're here. Of course you're going to have questions and want to see how you fit in. Ask away!
In the meantime, be assured that you fit in. We don't turn quitters away here, we embrace them.

I drank virtually only vodka since I developed an aversion to sulfides probably two decades ago. Wine and beer made me feel like I had a hangover before I even finished the first glass, so like any reasonable alcoholic (ha!) I switched to hard liquor and learned to drink loads of it.

I think maybe you don't see mention of particular types of liquor because, as others have said, we all came to realize that it wasn't the packaging - it was the ethanol regardless of form that caused us the trouble. You're right that drinking hard stuff is really not sustainable for decades... but I'm certainly not the only one who "made it work." This is not a badge of honor I'd encourage anyone to try to achieve - it's just a whole lot of continuously lowering bottoms just like beer or wine are for others.

O

PuckLuck

Oh yes all the times I tried to buy beer or wine instead of hard liquor because that's normal. Or I can handle it better than the hard stuff...

MissPerfumado

I can sympathise with the wanting to find common ground here, although I'm not sure I fully understand wondering about the type of alcohol that was your DOC.

For me, it was wine, lots of wine.

I found stories of a similar type of drinker really struck a chord with me - I was a lone at-home drinker mostly, and found it fascinating to read of people who faced the same shameful struggles as me - like going to different liquor stores so as not to be recognised, trying to hide the sound of bottles in their bins, becoming socially isolated, that sort of thing. I didn't embarrass myself in public so much, so those stories didn't resonate quite so (I still did of course, just not so much).

Do you think the type of alcohol you drank would make a difference to your recovery plan? That's an honest question - not intended to be confrontational.

Perhaps if you started to share (only if you feel ready to) the specific things you're worried about because you drank spirits, you might find people chiming in with similar experiences both of how their drinking affected them and how they addressed it. That could also help you with specific tools for you, going forward.

Anna

Beer, wine or liquor is all alcohol and it all affects us the same way. I started off drinking wine, but I quickly had to hide my drinking so buying vodka was much more efficient and I didn't have to sneak it into the house as often as I did with wine. But, it had the same disastrous effect on me.

And, I began drinking in my mid-forties to deal with anxiety/depression/insomnia. Everything in my life came together in a perfect storm and I mistakenly turned to alcohol and quickly became addicted. I think we all have similarities and differences in our drinking habits, but can also find commonalities.

rodyda

I guess in my wondering, was that I was gonna ask about relapses. I suppose it’s the same no matter your alcohol choices. Maybe I assumed that I’d might relate to a person who drank the same but I guess that was flawed. My question was to those who have relapsed, did your habits return to the same form ? I ask this mainly cause as I’ve struggled with it, I reached a peak point of drinking about a fifth in a short span of time, and as I’ve achieved bouts of sobriety, each time I returned right back to that level in a blink. I was thinking about it today. I obviously don’t intend to relapse but I also understand that it’s an everyday struggle to avoid it and years long battle if you’re successful. So if you’ve relapsed after a bout of success, how did things change? Did you return to a similar pattern? Or did you find some control to catch yourself and change some? I ask this cause I hate that I always relapse in such a manner, and I’ve got a long life to live, just curious how all you who have achieved levels of recovery handled your slips over time in this regard.

Dee74

I one of those drinkers who quit for a while, drank again and was worse than ever.

but don't panic, relapses are not mandatory man.
I took my last drink in April 07

D

rodyda

I know they’re not, and I don’t intend to. But I also know I’ll endure a lotta social pressure through the rest of my twenties and thirties for sure, so I see the possibility exist. And if I do relapse, there’s nothing wrong with that, getting back onto the boat is the important thing, I was just curious about how others found that task of getting it back together thanks

Dee74

All I can say is at 50 something I wish I'd resisted that social pressure.
Its one thing to be pressured (either from without or by others) fit in, but it's another to willingly do something you know is harmful to you, your relationships, your heath and your future.

My last relapse I decided to drink for one night. Easy right?
I didn't stop again for 18 months, drinking destructively every day.

I don't think SoHard or BeABetterMan would mind me saying I think every newcomer should read their recent threads.

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...hard-here.html (Sohard here...)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...m-bad-way.html (I’m in a bad way)

Obladi

Every time I returned to drinking, it was as if no time had passed at all, and the volume just continued to climb.

Peer pressure doesn’t make grown people do anything they don’t want to do. And tossing off the idea that “relapse is no big deal” sounds suspiciously like a Get Out of Jail Free card.

Which isn’t me playing the “better than you” card - it’s much more likely that we’re quite similar in our thinking patterns. That’s what alcohol does to some of us...