Help me stop
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Richmond, VA
Posts: 2
Help me stop
I need help to stop drinking. I have tried to stop on my own and there is always some excuse to drink. It is pathetic. I am tired of being useless for the first four hours after I wake up every morning. I'm tired of paranoia, guilt, and anxiety -- wondering if every person I pass in the store or on the street can tell I am a "drunk," wondering how much my family knows even though I try to hide it... I'm tired of being tired and unhealthy. You know?? It is stupid. I don't even LIKE to drink anymore. I just get so bored. I never drink before 7 or 8 PM, but those five hours or so from 8 until whenever I am able to fall asleep at night just seem endless when I am not drinking. I know it is an illness, somehow. Why else would I do something that I don't even enjoy and has had such terrible repercussions in my life (it was a factor in me dropping out of school, it has caused problems with my parents, etc.) anyway, I am sure this is the same old story to a lot of people?? The good news is that I am young -- 22. I haven't done anything really terrible yet. No DUIs, no ruined relationships... Just little things ... that add up ... and after one and a half years of this, a shattered sense of self that I guess is not visible to anyone but me. I really, really want this to stop. I want to feel good again physically and emotionally.
One of the worst things about alcoholism for me is the isolation. Trying to hide it, you know?? I think having people to confide in would help. Someone to come to every night and say "Hey, I didn't drink tonight." Thanks for listening.
*** sorry I accidentally posted this in the General Recovery forum and I meant to post it hear. I am sorry if you read it twice. Mods please delete the others one if you want.
One of the worst things about alcoholism for me is the isolation. Trying to hide it, you know?? I think having people to confide in would help. Someone to come to every night and say "Hey, I didn't drink tonight." Thanks for listening.
*** sorry I accidentally posted this in the General Recovery forum and I meant to post it hear. I am sorry if you read it twice. Mods please delete the others one if you want.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Dubh Linn - Ireland
Posts: 455
Curia,
Welcome to SR - a community of wonderful caring people striving to help each other to sobriety and freedom from the bondages of addiction!!!
Well seems you have taken a first step by posting. Read loads of threads and get a feel for the destructiveness of alcoholism and the despair that it brings. See the hope and sobriety too!!!! Only alcoholics will understand other alcoholics - A FACT. So I would also recommend that you seek out AA. YOU SAID - "I think having people to confide in would help. Someone to come to every night and say "Hey, I didn't drink tonight." Thanks for listening. - AA does just that but also opens up the avenues for recovery through the 12 Step Programme. Only just last night I was at a meeting where the secretary was only 23years old with 5 YEARS sobriety. Yes she got sober at 18 years old. And also yes - by that tender age her life had become unmanageable - It took me to the not so tender age of 41 :-( You do not have to live in isolation.....
Gosh your whole life is ahead of you - get a meeting and learn to live again.....one day at a time.....
Luvs Ama
Welcome to SR - a community of wonderful caring people striving to help each other to sobriety and freedom from the bondages of addiction!!!
Well seems you have taken a first step by posting. Read loads of threads and get a feel for the destructiveness of alcoholism and the despair that it brings. See the hope and sobriety too!!!! Only alcoholics will understand other alcoholics - A FACT. So I would also recommend that you seek out AA. YOU SAID - "I think having people to confide in would help. Someone to come to every night and say "Hey, I didn't drink tonight." Thanks for listening. - AA does just that but also opens up the avenues for recovery through the 12 Step Programme. Only just last night I was at a meeting where the secretary was only 23years old with 5 YEARS sobriety. Yes she got sober at 18 years old. And also yes - by that tender age her life had become unmanageable - It took me to the not so tender age of 41 :-( You do not have to live in isolation.....
Gosh your whole life is ahead of you - get a meeting and learn to live again.....one day at a time.....
Luvs Ama
knucklehead
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: earth
Posts: 694
540, you have come to a good place. Many people will be along to help guide you away from the grip alcohol has upon you. The best advice I can tell you is to stop drinking 1 day at a time. The time will pass weather or not you are drinking. Trust me you will feel better about yourself in the morning, though the struggle to drink feels overwhelming for a while at first. You can stop just remember that you don't even like to drink any more. Good luck looking foward to reading about your adventure to sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Vicksburg, Michigan
Posts: 56
First, welcome!
Second, man am i jelous, i wish i could have had the foresight at your age to say HEY!, this is not right!
I am only 35 but to have all those years back... if wishes where fishes.
Do not feal bad, look at it this way, you not only get a chance to make it right but you also have enough time to go back to school and make your millions!.
There is one thing, OK two things that i think of that help me stay sober, #1- "My life is a result of the choices i make." #2 "the hardest road is usually the right one.".
Well i hope this will help you some.
Just keep coming back here, it has helped me a TON!!!, It's all that and a bag of chips!.
C-ya!
Second, man am i jelous, i wish i could have had the foresight at your age to say HEY!, this is not right!
I am only 35 but to have all those years back... if wishes where fishes.
Do not feal bad, look at it this way, you not only get a chance to make it right but you also have enough time to go back to school and make your millions!.
There is one thing, OK two things that i think of that help me stay sober, #1- "My life is a result of the choices i make." #2 "the hardest road is usually the right one.".
Well i hope this will help you some.
Just keep coming back here, it has helped me a TON!!!, It's all that and a bag of chips!.
C-ya!
We all need each other.
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: The road of happy destiny.
Posts: 2,294
Curia--Hello, and welcome to SR! I only have a moment because I have to head of to work. I just wanted to tell you how courageous it is to come here and ask for help. You CAN get sober, if you really want it. Keep posting. We look forward to getting to know you better.
Hugs--
Hugs--
Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 7
Reading your letter was like reading my own feelings. You really hit home for me. I wish you all the help in recovering. You have a beautiful lifetime ahead of yourself..that is a wonderful thing. Just stick to being strong everyday..think about the important things you cherish. I will be following your post!!
A Friend
A Friend
Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Colorado
Posts: 63
Hello Curia, and welcome 
Your post really hit home with me, also. I can so relate to the guilt, anxiety and paranoia that are the bedfellows of a drinking problem.
I would go to three different liquor stores in the same day, so the clerks wouldn't think I was a drunk, rather than buy my supply from one place. I would dispose of the empty cans and bottles in different dumpsters so even the garbage collectors wouldn't think I was a drunk. Obviously, this is something a 'normal' drinker wouldn't consider.
My life revovled around procurring alcohol, consuming alcohol and recovering from its effects. Not much of a life. I didn't enjoy drinking for years, I was, at times, down to 'survival drinking' afraid to stop because of the ramifications that a binge would bring on. I hope you never each this stage of desperation.
I'm so glad you realize you may have a problem at such a young age, alcoholism is a progressive disease and it only gets worse, never better. By stopping now, you can save yourself years of isolation, grief, lost relationships and mental torment, not to mention the toll alcohol takes on the body.
AA groups can offer invaluable support for those of us who want to change. SR has also been a great source of support and encourement for me and I hope you find it useful, also, and keep posting. You don't have to quit on your own, there are resources available, and I hope you take advantage of them. You've taken the first step by admitting you have a problem, and that takes guts.
My advice would be to take things one day, one step, at a time. Don't pick up that first drink. Look for a support group. Many of us here undestand what you're going through.
Thanks for your post, it's helping me stay sober today.
Thorn
Your post really hit home with me, also. I can so relate to the guilt, anxiety and paranoia that are the bedfellows of a drinking problem.
I would go to three different liquor stores in the same day, so the clerks wouldn't think I was a drunk, rather than buy my supply from one place. I would dispose of the empty cans and bottles in different dumpsters so even the garbage collectors wouldn't think I was a drunk. Obviously, this is something a 'normal' drinker wouldn't consider.
My life revovled around procurring alcohol, consuming alcohol and recovering from its effects. Not much of a life. I didn't enjoy drinking for years, I was, at times, down to 'survival drinking' afraid to stop because of the ramifications that a binge would bring on. I hope you never each this stage of desperation.
I'm so glad you realize you may have a problem at such a young age, alcoholism is a progressive disease and it only gets worse, never better. By stopping now, you can save yourself years of isolation, grief, lost relationships and mental torment, not to mention the toll alcohol takes on the body.
AA groups can offer invaluable support for those of us who want to change. SR has also been a great source of support and encourement for me and I hope you find it useful, also, and keep posting. You don't have to quit on your own, there are resources available, and I hope you take advantage of them. You've taken the first step by admitting you have a problem, and that takes guts.
My advice would be to take things one day, one step, at a time. Don't pick up that first drink. Look for a support group. Many of us here undestand what you're going through.
Thanks for your post, it's helping me stay sober today.
Thorn
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The land of the free and the home of the brave
Posts: 46
Curia,
Wlecome! You are in the right place. Get yourself to a meeting tonight, if possible, would be my suggestion. If you have the ability, 90 meetings in the next 90 days is also a suggestion. I recall when I was a few days sober I couldn't think straight, so me getting to as many meetings as possible worked really well.
You say, You are young and you have alot of time ahead of you if you remain sober. I can tell you that this is a progressive disease and if you keep drinking you will have the opportunity to sink lower than you ever believed possible. As a relapser I can tell you that my drinking picked up right where I left it and got much worse much quicker than ever before. I hit new depths of depravity and despair in my relapse. The good news is that relapse isn't a requirement of this program and this program works if you take action.
I'd suggest hooking up with a temporary sponsor. Isolation is a big problem for me as a person, and if I roam around "without supervision" in my own head too much I am in trouble.
Wlecome! You are in the right place. Get yourself to a meeting tonight, if possible, would be my suggestion. If you have the ability, 90 meetings in the next 90 days is also a suggestion. I recall when I was a few days sober I couldn't think straight, so me getting to as many meetings as possible worked really well.
You say,
The good news is that I am young -- 22. I haven't done anything really terrible yet. No DUIs, no ruined relationships... Just little things ... that add up ... and after one and a half years of this, a shattered sense of self that I guess is not visible to anyone but me.
I'd suggest hooking up with a temporary sponsor. Isolation is a big problem for me as a person, and if I roam around "without supervision" in my own head too much I am in trouble.
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