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-   -   I’m in a bad way (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/451534-i-m-bad-way.html)

BeABetterMan 01-02-2021 12:10 PM

I’m in a bad way
 
I moved, one of my cats disappeared and I pissed away 5 months of sobriety.

Anna 01-02-2021 12:15 PM

BABM, I'm so sorry that your cat is lost. I'm sure you have searched and done whatever you could to find the cat. I'm really sorry.

You're here now, and I know that means you want to get back to recovery. I hope that you have stopped drinking today. Can you get rid of any alcohol that you have and get back to working on your sobriety?

Erica375 01-02-2021 12:32 PM

BABM You have been a jerk to me, but I love animals. Put the cat's litter box outsider your door. This will help your cat find its way home, through smell.
And please remember that the lowliest among us also have something to contribute.

Mizz 01-02-2021 12:34 PM

Where did your time go? It didn't just disappear. I really do not like to look at this as if everything is now a complete fail because there is a relapse. Get back to your sober road and continuing walking :)

As for your cat.... Well, cats are very stealthy (as you know) and this cat just may be really close but hiding. I thought my boy cat had disappeared completely and his sister alerted me to him one morning. He was hiding under the neighbors house. I was a mess for 2 days. .... How long has your cat been missing?


Delilah1 01-02-2021 12:35 PM

I am so sorry your cat is missing, I am also sorry you drank, but you didn’t throw away those five months, you still have all that you learned during that time, and those five months helped you make this move to be closer to your kids.

First thing, take a few deep breaths and know that it isn’t going to be okay. We are all here to support you, and you can get that time back. Is there someone who can come over and help you look for your cat? Is the someone who can come by and be with you?

If you still have any alcohol left in the house, make sure you get rid of it. Please know we are here for you, post as much as you need today.

I know you can do this.

❤️ Delilah

PuckLuck 01-02-2021 12:39 PM

Join us in the January class BABM. Sorry to hear about your cat and the drinking, bro.

D122y 01-02-2021 12:52 PM

5 months with 1 relapse is still a bunch of sober days.

The recovery from 1 relapse might prove to be hard because recovery from 1 day of drinking seems easy.

So relapse becomes tempting.

Respectfully sorry about the cat and relapse. No advice on the cat situation. If my dog disappeared it would suck suck suck! We love her to death.

Regarding the relapse...

The body can produce all the happy drugs it needs. Need to give it a chance.

I use the gym to help me. Pushing myself hard makes all the other pain disappear.

When I am done at the gym, I have internally created endorphins to make me feel better as time heals the other wounds.

Thanks.

Dee74 01-02-2021 01:10 PM

I’m really sorry BABM. Moving is one of the most stressful things ever. I can’t imagine doing it with animals as well. I really hope your cat will be found. Look around the local bulletin boards and shelters both in your new place and old one.

You we’re doing really well with a combination of AAand SR - you’ve reached out here ...please reach out there too.

This can be a momentary stumble. Make it so :)

D

nez 01-02-2021 01:13 PM

BABM what actions are you taking?

Aellyce 01-02-2021 02:07 PM

Sorry to hear all this, but you made a good step to come here and share. I hope you can also find some comfort among your AA peers.

We once had a beloved cat with my parents when I was little and he disappeared one day. We tried to look everywhere possible, with no result, and slowly gave up and accepted it. The greatest surprise was when the cat just showed up one day, about a month later I think, seemingly in good health and happy. We could never figure out where he was. I think Erica's idea about leaving out a box with litter (or anything the cat liked and used, e.g. toys, blankets etc) may be a good idea if you live in a house with a yard or some open space around.

And I agree with others that you didn't lose those 5 months of hard recovery work at all. I'm sure you can learn some things from this episode of picking up to cement your relapse prevention approach. If you feel too disturbed about counting the time, I simply would stop counting for a while (I know people do that in AA but you can do what's best for you as well) and just focus on getting back on track. I hope your new place is not bad!

Steely 01-02-2021 03:04 PM

I relapsed after 5 years BABM and got back up again. Twelve months, want it for good now.

You can do it BABM you're an engineer. :)

Whimsical sense of humour.

I reckon your cat cat will turn up. Have you checked your old address? Maybe went back to old home?

Delilah1 01-02-2021 03:22 PM

How are you doing BABM?

Surrendered19 01-02-2021 03:35 PM

What does "pi$$ed away" mean BABM? One day of drinking or what? I certainly would not conclude that you've pissed it all away. The last 5 months sober benefits are still there and you can continue to build on that. And your body and mind both thank you for those 5 months. What's going on today? Can you dump your supply and get back to it?

least 01-02-2021 03:40 PM

Maybe your cat went to the old house. Or is that too far away to consider? I sure hope you find your cat. :hug:

I did the same thing as you did - I drank after I'd been sober for 6 months. I woke up after drinking for two days and felt horrible. Then and there I made the decision to stop drinking for good. And I did. I now have 11 yrs sober. :) When I relapsed after 6 months, I almost lost hope that I could do it, but I kept at it and succeeded. :)

You can do this. :hug:

RAL 01-02-2021 04:00 PM

I was just going to say what Least said. Maybe your cat has gone to your old home. they are amazing creatures at finding there way back even miles away. I hope she comes home soon.

You still have your 5 months sober. This can just be a temporary one off incident and start afresh tomorrow. Don't do what I did and carry on drinking for years. Wishing you all the best

tornrealization 01-02-2021 04:27 PM

I second leaving the cat box outside. Please, searching for your pet is easier sober. You need to put up signs, call local vets and shelters. I’m on a neighborhood app that neighbors use to help eachother find lost pets. I just watched a woman search, post, call around and put the cat box out and she found her cat in two weeks. I’m sorry you’ve let stress lead you to drinking. I hope you’re able to bounce back to sobriety quickly. Hopefully your kitty is microchipped. Take care BABM.

advbike 01-02-2021 05:03 PM

Sorry to hear that man. Animals are a big part of our lives. Chances are pretty good she'll be back but you gotta take care of yourself. A slip doesn't mean a relapse, just pick yourself up and get on with it.

Hevyn 01-02-2021 06:16 PM

I'm sorry too, BABM. I'm thankful you're posting & not going into isolation. We care about you.

Be123 01-02-2021 11:04 PM

Hey BABM, how are you today?

I hope you find your cat, I really do, I know some of what you've been through before you got sober, feeling lonely at times, pets are such awesome companions. Hope it turns up, they do have a habit of doing this cats (I'm sure just to remind us who in charge - not us!).

I agree with everyone else said. Your body and brain don't agree that 5 month is wasted. All that time has allowed physical recovery. Science and nature don't care for what we think, they're a higher power and will have done their thing. But I know some people find it hard to get out of a relapse.

I guess the obvious but necessary advice is - stop drinking as soon as you can. It'll be easier for you and will do les damage.

Youve come so far BABM, and this relapse doesn't take that away from you

Steely 01-02-2021 11:16 PM

And sometimes you've just got to cop to it, and go find your cat.


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