Day #2 almost caved
 

I got off work this afternoon and went to the gas station for smokes. I saw the rack of wine and walked past it twice. Got in my car and drove home. I sat in my car for a good 10 minutes talking myself out of going back and I thought of SR. I said not right now. I went inside and saw a glass of wine in a bottle left on the counter. I dumped that so fast but smelling it made me want it more. I said not this moment and took a few hour nap.

I just woke up and poured a caffeine free Diet Coke with plenty of ice and decided to come here to share and read instead of going to the store. I do not want to drink tonight so I’ll stay up a couple hours reading and call it an early night.

how I felt in the gas station was so strong I’m honestly shocked I didn’t buy the wine but I’m happy I didn’t.

Way to go Shammy!! Good job recognizing that the craving WILL pass. I hope you're proud of yourself :grouphug:

Congratulations. That takes a lot of effort.

It's really poor that the Gas/petrol station sells alcohol.

​​​​​​If your Gas station is anything like in the UK it'll also sell every chocolate bar known to man but no fruit.

Way to go Shammy! Tomorrow morning when you wake up and realize how you made it through and you're waking up guilt free is so gonna rock! Congrats!

Exactly. No fruit here. 😂

still hanging strong tonight here. It comes in waves I’m just saying wait 10 minutes not right now.

This is so how it is done Sham . . . . keep working that method. Those early days can be tough.

I'm really impressed you had the strength to do that Shammy - sometimes it comes down to just that - being strong on the moment and using/thinking about support.

D

I’m glad there’s support here, Dee! SR is getting me by today. When the thought comes around as it has so many times today I jumped right on here.

Boy, that is digging deep Shammy. Early on it is a series of moments, isn't it? But as long as you can keep doing it how you did it today, you'll be just fine. All you need to do is focus on the day - just exactly like you did today.

“DON’t drink and drive but here, take some beer for the journey!” Yeah, what smart Alec thought of that one? Of course, I forget! Profits before health, eh?

You’ve done a huge thing today. The more you say no and the more you choose you over IT, the stronger you’ll become. Tonight wasn’t a solo victory; it’s a build block to start building. Seriously, well done!

Yes it's ridiculous. Petrol stations in Ireland are also permitted to sell booze, something that used to shock me even when I was in my unrepentant alcoholic phase.

The nutty thing about cravings is that the cave man in your brain is telling you that it'll be dire and dangerous if you don't give in and drink.

The cravings come from the part of your brain that regulates the most basic elements of survival. Like not falling from a high place or the urge to swim to safety if you're carried out by an ocean current. The need for alcohol gets mixed in with basic survival needs; so the urge to drink is mindless and not easily overcome by your rational mind.

But the more you do it and then feel fine, the easier it gets. So try to focus on the accomplishment of not drinking and remember not to let the cravings overwhelm your conscious mind.

Brilliant! That's how it is done. One day at a time. One craving at a time. The early days are tough. Its everywhere and our addiction is used to being fed. So what you are experiencing is completely normal. You are going to get those urges. Alot. Its imperative to not give in to them. They will be uncomfortable. I felt like I wanted to crawl out of my own skin sometimes but they do pass and and uncomfortable as that feeling is it won't kill you. Many times I would tell myself , not today. When a bad craving hit I would say I am not going to pick up today. If I still feel this way tomorrow I can drink tomorrow but not today. Then of course it passes.

Be prepared to experience this for a while. You are changing neuron pathways in your brain every time you say no and it is quite exhausting but so worth it. I havent had to pick up a drink in 2 years and 8 months now , a day at a time and despite sometimes having thoughts of drinking j haven't experienced that real nagging urge in quite a while and I can easily swat those thoughts away like an annoying fly so it does get easier.

Well done and keep going.

♥️🙏♥️

Well done Shammy.

Each time we do as you did we become stronger.

Far out Shammy.

Keep doing what you’re doing. You know alcohol will only lead to a bad ending. Always play the tape forward and think about how good it will be to wake up tomorrow with no regrets. Eventually you’re going to have a new normal and being sober will be easy.

It’s damn hard in the early days but you’re actively pursuing alternatives like SR. That’s how we do it!

Keep looking for ways to distract and self soothe... hot baths, deep breathing, food. I ate a lot of sugar and binge watched tv early on.

Keep going!

Well done Shammy! You're doing the right things. I also want to reassure you that it won't always feel this way -- the early days are tough but it gets easier and the cravings lessen over time.

There will always be wine and liquor lining the shelves
here and there and there isn't a thing I can do about that,

except.....

I don't have to look at it. I don't have to like it. I don't need
to fantasize about it.

However,

I can accept the fact that liquor isnt going to go away anytime
soon and I can avoid being around it. Alcohol has a right to be
there, so for this alcoholic in recovery, I need to leave it alone.

Don't approach, ecnor, avoid, walk away, say my Serenity
prayer over and over till the urge leaves. (Something I did
a many a times in early recovery helping to a achieve another
day sober.)

Focus on recovery and continuous sobriety leaving our
addictions in the rear view window moving forward.

Wow! That is really amazing. You have shown incredible strength and will power. I haven't felt that big pull yet but my worst times are always weekends. I am expecting it soon. I will do what you did and visit SR and maybe nap. Anything but grab that drink. Thanks for inspiring story and all of the comments. They really help me stay focused and not feel so alone.

I had the most intense craving for Hamburger Helper later on last night when I couldn't fall asleep. I went to the store and bought some. I stared at a bottle of wine for a minute but said let's walk around the store. I decided on a case of La Croix passionfruit instead.

Last night I was up every couple hours where I'd typically be passed out wasted snoring so bad my throat hurt in the AM. It took me about 2 hours to finally fall asleep. Today I woke up to day #3 sober with no regrets for drinking yesterday. A bit tired with only a few hours of sleep but sober.

I know it's small and silly but I can't remember a morning cup of coffee tasting so good!

I'm not even kidding myself today will certainly be harder than yesterday so I'm taking it as I go: focus on the 10 minutes when the wave hits. I'm going to go for a random drive on some country roads which is something I used to love and haven't done in years after work today. Then make some pasta sauce and crack a book. I have a few I haven't read yet. I feel reading is different than TV with my wine so I'm going that route to get lost in the story. I'll be lurking all day and night for sure.

I need to find who posted the quote but it's something I've come back to dozens of times over the past two days: "I am worthy, I am enough!"