thomas11

Every year I look forward to the holidays.

Every year I'm glad they are over.

This year has been quite good for me/us. We are gainfully employed with good jobs, financially sound, and have our health.

My heart breaks for those less fortunate, and for those who have struggled with drugs and alcohol through the Holidays. Its not fair, is it?

But lastly, I am human and I don't know how much longer I want to live in a world where I have to (unequivocally) listen to someone else's orders. And that's on me. I have never liked being told what to do. Yet everyday I wake up and from morning until night I am told what to do.

Either I'm out of line, or they are.

Depending on which side of the fence you fall on, this is a real debate.

In conclusion, I hope and do believe that 2021 will be much better for all of us, as it can't be much worse. My small piece of advice for those reading this....stay close to SR, it will keep you grounded. Jeff.

thomas11

forgot to add one more nugget. A 5th friend of mine has passed away due to drinking and lockdowns. I do not have one person I know that has died of covid. And I am not passing any judgement on anyone who has had covid. Just sharing my experience.

Anna

Jeff, I'm glad you're doing alright and that you're sober.

I'm not sure if you're referring to your family situation with regards to always being told what to do, all day? I can't imagine being happy living like that either. If it's your family situation that's the problem, can you think of anything you can do to make things better for yourself?

thomas11

not my family situation, its my governor. Wear masks, stay at home, don't go out etc....not liking it.

RAL

I wasn't sure if you are referring to Covid rules and lockdown. It's the same here, full lockdown can't see friends or family, can't travel etc. It is so frustrating but I keep telling myself i can't do anything about it so not beating myself up about it. Whether it is right or wrong or will help or not is out of my control.

I hope you have a peaceful and happy 2021 Jeff

Dee74

I think the COVID issue rightly or wrongly is a political issue for many, and I wish you hadn't bought it here, Jeff.

But hey the Government orders me to do lots of things in the interest of the community - speed limits and seat belts for example.
I presume you, like the rest of us, follow those orders.

If you have trouble following mask orders try and look at the mask as a way of trying to protect other people.

D

ScottFromWI

There's a lot of stuff I don't like about all the things surrounding COVID too Jeff. Having said that, even whe this crisis passes there will be yet another one, and then another one after that, and so on. And each time there will be rules/regulations/mandates we are told to follow. That's just the nature of living in a governed society. So yeah, it is not really pleasant right now for a lot of us, but we can't use that as an excuse to fall short in taking care of other areas of our lives.

I've been gone for a while from the forum but i have to say that you starting off a thread with this kind of payload give me a real sense of Deja Vu. You've gone down this road with your family, your business, and other things...and more than once it ended up with you drinking "at" something to try and spite it. Certainly you have a good amount of sobriety under your belt this time, but just don't let it turn into a fight between your ego and what you know is right in your heart. I say that with the utmost respect of course because i've been there myself.

thomas11

almost impossible to keep the covid restrictions non political. But not gonna apologize for my beliefs. God bless everyone.

tursiops999

Jeff, probably none of us enjoys being locked down. But putting aside the politics around that issue, i gotta say ... lock downs are not the cause of people drinking themselves to death. Choosing to pick up a drink is the cause of drinking oneself to death. Blaming the lockdown is something my AV would do.

BrianK

We're on the same page. Former friends and family look at me with a blank stare when I share info about my opinion. Had to leave meetings and may need to leave AA due to it as well. Was going to try to get back in the program but I just can't play along anymore. I'm not gonna drink over it though. And it has actually helped me to see who in my social circle and community is serious about their beliefs and who is just complaining online till sportsball comes on. Literally zero serious people in my immediate circle. I'm out.

ScottFromWI

I don't see anyone asking you to, here at least. I would do a self check though and ask yourself how it's affecting you personally. By that I mean - make sure it's not derailing all the good things you've done for yourself over the past year. You say "it's on you" - and it is. If you need help talking those thigns through and can't come to resolution on your own, find someone that can help. And not regarding this specific issue - the control issue. It'll eat you alive if you don't.

Anna

Jeff, it is possible to talk about how Covid is affecting you without making it political.

And, I hope you can find some peace in your life and some way to accept the current situation, because resentments are poisonous, and feeling miserable every day is just not good for anyone, especially an alcoholic.

WaterOx

I really used the lockdowns to go nuts with drinking. I used all the excuses you might imagine including but not limited to my thoughts about the lockdowns.

For what it's worth I'm here to tell you it wasn't worth it.

Surrendered19

It is so good to know you aren't passing judgment on anyone who has had COVID. It nearly killed me and two members of my family have died from it. But knowing you don't judge any of us for that is of great comfort Jeff. How are your sophomoric and poorly expressed resentments towards health and safety regulations contributing to the SR community and helping others stay on healthy and sober journeys? COVID has killed so many and permanently injured so many others. COVID restrictions have also killed many and permanently injured so many others. Why do sides need to be chosen?

Dee74

Hard but not impossible Jeff - other members have been doing discussing COVID and how it makes them feel and how that impacts upon their recovery for nearly a year now, without invoking politics..

For that reason - and because I know you never post without good reason - I'm going to leave the thread open, for now, so you can ask for help if you need it.

Politics though - it's so divisive right now - all over the world - and division works against what we're trying to do here at SR....so we made the decision the political posts are not allowed on SR.

Noones asking you to apoloigise for your beliefs...but man you know the no politics rule here - I know full well you do because you've had threads removed before under that rule.

There are literally dozens of other places on the web where you could express and discuss your displeasure at your local state or Federal government and I hope you'll find and use those places.

Dee
Administrator
SR

Steely

Your post would have me enter political debate Thomas. And we all know what happens when I/we do that.

I'm truly sorry about your friends.

Bekindalways

Rough stuff Thomas. I hope you can work out whatever you are going through. Can you surf those feelings a bit like surfing a craving? Sit with the resentment long enough to make friends with it? . . . . I wish I had other ideas for you.

I know many people are in such tough emotional/financial/mental health situations. Also I know people who have died of covid. Right now there just does not seem to be any simple answer for what is right to do. We can only each keep making the least worst choices for ourselves and our communities. I hope you can hold onto your sobriety through all of this no matter what.

fini

nobody likes having their freedom of movement and association restricted. that’s a given.
whether we can embrace restrictions on us individually for the common good is a matter of choice, really.
i find it helps when i look at the bigger picture and see what a bloody privileged life i lead. even with all the restrictions.

Steely

Well said, Surrendered. Was worried about you 'cause knew you'd contracted Covid. Didn't want to keep checking your Profile case I looked like a stalker. 😂

Good to see you back and running Surrendered.

TheAten

Resentment leads to bitterness and hatred, and we all know where that can quickly lead to. My advice would be - control what is within your control. Mostly your own mind and your own home. But mainly, your own mind. Also, remember it’s nobody personally telling you specifically what to do. This isn’t personal nor aimed at anyone individual. Try and keep things in perspective and focus as much as you can on the many blessings you’ve mentioned. They’re far more important in the here and now than the wider world. What becomes of the world will happen regardless of whether you drink or not, or get angry about it or not - so my advice would be, don’t worry about the world or become angry about it; cultivate the happiness and contentment that comes from the things that you do have control over.