Anna

D122y,

I am so very, very disappointed to read your post.

The rules we follow on SR are not rules made by the website owners.

"They get to use judgement and if they error of the wrong side of their boss their judgement becomes questionable."

This is 100% not true. I've been here since 2003 and the website has changed hands a few times, and I have never, ever experienced anything like that.

Mizz

I think this thread is good.

Since the pandemic has started, I have heard everything from disbelief, to non-compliance, to yelling, to people throwing ice, to people threatening to drive their vehicles through my workplace, to writing letters....to taking extended leaves from work due to not wanting to wear a mask....people being quarantined, people getting sick, people being people. It has been all over the map. It is to be expected.

We all do not think the same nor are we supposed too. Its hard to believe what is happening when it does not directly affect your life and affect others in your life. It is hard to see that there is a lot of "control." It is okay. We are allowed to think and to share our thoughts.

We learn to adapt. We agree to disagree. Keep it respectful and move on.

I am not sure if it is a mental health issue? It doesn't have to be that. It could be that. It also could just be an expression of where the OP is at with all of this. I wish everyone a happy and healthy new year! I will protect others by staying home when I am not working, wearing my mask, washing my hands and keeping my distance. I am hopeful we get all get through this with our sanity in tact.

Bekindalways

I know that study Relena. It is a bit heart breaking to think about but really revealed how important touch is for infants. I read something that told of how, in the late 1800s after germ theory was developed, many sick babies were isolated; they all died.

Old people seem to need touch the way kids need touch. I remember my pisser of a grandmother practically crawling in to my arms in her old age. My Dad at 85 is similar. He craves touch. He wants to hold my hand all the time. As the nursing homes have been hit so hard, I understand why they are locked down so tight and I'm also horrified at the isolation of so many of the aged. In our present situation, there is just no great answer.

Erica, your anger in the face of what your family is suffering makes sense. I'm often furious myself without having experienced this. The incredulity of those who have not experienced the virus and are having mental health crisis also makes sense. Not fun.

Jeff, all the best in dealing whatever is haunting you. I have depression and always think breaking every bone in my body would be better than dealing with the bad days. Ugh.

lessgravity

Another voice here thankful for the mods keeping this one open and, as usual, voicing their reason, wisdom and experience.

I have been directly touched with tragedy, and then directly touched with incredible inconvenience as a result of covid. But I understand the lockdown skeptics nonetheless (in fact count me as one).

This has been as challenging a year as can be remembered by anyone alive. I'm so so so grateful to have been able to endure it sober.

D122y

sorry, sorry, sorry Anna and anyone else I hurt with my post. Argh!!!!

I cross the line/step on toes/offend/misinterpret/misspeak etc etc periodically and it is not my intention ever ever ever.

I just want to participate and help in my way.

Love love love.

Thanks.

nez

2020 brought tragedy home to roost for my loved ones and for me. But we are not the only ones by a far stretch. I have seen despicable behavior demonstrated by my fellow humans during the last year. I have also seen great examples of courage, strength, and compassion by my fellow humans during the last year.

I can learn and grow from everything that was 2020,...but it is not a requirement.

I am grateful to 2020 because my daily to do list was greatly minimized due to sheltering in place, etc. which made it easier to increase the time I spent on improving my spiritual growth. 2020 also increased my faith and hope as it showed me that I have way more strength and that I have grown more in recovery than I generally acknowledge.

Wishing for everyone, what I wish for myself.

Bekindalways

Love back at you D122 . . . . . one thing this year and the past few years has taught me is a huge appreciation for people who apologize/change-their-minds/own-up-to-mistakes . . . . not a fun thing . . . . mucking it up not a fun thing . . . . . we all do it . . . . sooner or later. Ugh.

Lots of our misspeaks, misteps, mistakes, errors-of-judgement and regular errors are kinda too painful to revisit. Some make me laugh . . . . .Dee I'm giggling a bit at you crashing the website. I hope you don't mind. After you did some cussing, I hope you could laugh too at the situation. No one should make me a moderator here as I would probably bring the whole thing down weekly!

AlbaSober

I view the lock down as a blessing - a time where I don't need to worry about work and can concentrate on sobriety.

Tomorrow I'm looking forward to being able to take my time preparing lunch and dinner instead of eating 'on the go'.

I also find my confidence levels improve once I put on a face covering. I use it as something to hide behind.

Lots of people have suffered personal loss so my experience is unique only to me but It's helped me gather myself.

I've kept that as apolitical as possible.

MythOfSisyphus

We all cut each other a lot of slack here I think, Jeff. I think maybe an anti-authoritarian/contrarian personality mixed with a bit of mental issues is probably the problem. I hate that a disease has become another issue for tribes to pick sides over. I know people who've died of Covid and some that got extremely ill but survived. One of my best friends and his wife are both in health care so get a lot of info from them on the progress of the pandemic. It's a legitimate thing! I worry a bit about it, for my mom who's in her 70's, for society at large and a little for myself. Having had Bell's Palsy and my age and a couple other issues makes me vulnerable to it. And I've seen from decades of experience that I get hit twice as hard as most folks by respiratory diseases.

But just for a second let me set the actual disease aside. I think it comes down to will. Some of us don't like having our will thwarted. We want to do as we want and hate to be told what to do. I guess I have a bit of that in me, too. But as the years go by I try to flip the script on its head. What if instead of expect the world to serve my will, what if I am on Earth to serve others? Kennedy told us to ask not what our country can do for us, but what we can do for our country. What if we expand that to our fellow man and woman, no matter what color they are or what region of the map they're from? You don't even have to live that way all the time, just trying to turn it in your mind occasionally and to try to see yourself as a servant can really open your eyes.

If we're looking for excuses to drink or to be miserable, I guess they're easy to find. That's the easy way, the path of least resistance. It's harder to be sober when you'd rather be drunk. It's harder to sit home when you'd rather see a movie. It's harder to wear a mask than not to wear a mask. Yet each of those things has a value that transcends the moment of ego gratification we feel when we just ignore doing the harder thing.

C0ntr0ls

I accept that's it's real and have no problem following their rules/advice. They are very very simple to me. I also don't have a problem with following the older condition that states “No Shirt no shoes no service” and I assume 348k would agree and maybe just maybe at least another 348k would agree on both of these.

I believe we need to be protected from ourselves at times because I know, I don't make the best choices all the time.

Hell, my bad choices help get me here.

Obladi

This is brilliant, and I think gets to the heart of the matter, Jeff. While it's easy to get sidetracked and distracted by external circumstances (and lots of people will go with that distraction if it's "good enough," the real issue for alcoholics such as ourselves is us.

I'm concerned about your state of mind right now, man. This anger and looking outside of yourself for things to rail against has proven to be toxic time and time again. Same as it has been with me, and at the bottom of all of that what I found was a whole world of hurt and fear. This isn't a new refrain from me to you, but I'm going to sing it again: please, please consider finding yourself a counselor with whom you can really connect. You have lots of reasons to be in a whole lot of pain, but there is a way out of there. You are worth it, you deserve it, and I know you're strong enough to get there because you've done an amazing job getting yourself sober again. Plus, you put aside your pride to get a job that's less than ideal and you're being just a decent all-around Joe.

Do the harder thing. I care. We care.

O

Anna

Thanks you for those words. I know you help people here and your input is appreciated, and I don't believe you intended to hurt anybody.

Love to you, too.

nez

This gave me a good chuckle at myself. It took me years to realize, but for me sobriety is the path of least resistance. The more I resisted life by drinking, the harder things became.

saoutchik

My great fear is that the closure of barbers and hairdressers might cause the return of the mullet - something that was long thought to be extinct. This would cause alarm and distress to an unwary public, especially those under 30 who have never had to live through such a harrowing experience.

prettiekittie

mullets are totally back. I was just talking with someone about this the other day. Hahaha

they look better this time around.

saoutchik

We're doomed!

Dee74

I know folks like to lighten the mood but I’m not sure it’s warranted in this thread guys.
There’s some pretty awesome sharing going on - let’s not dick with that.

D

MissPerfumado

I think it's healthy for people to question whether measures that have been taken by those in authority have been proportionate to deal with this crisis. I think it's actually being a responsible citizen to do so, especially if those measures infringe fundamental personal liberties.

It's possible to question and at the same time obey directions ... also, to hold deep concern and compassion for those who have suffered from COVID or are at grave risk if they contract it.

It's possible to do all of the above, and remain polite and respectful.

I think this has been a polite and respectful thread, overall. I personally didn't see in Jeff's initial post anything offensive. I thought the warning from some others for Jeff to watch for resentments was a sound one.

Bekindalways

I think it is possible however if you are suffering severely from the lockdown or if you have lost family members to covid, you may be too hurt and raw to be kind. These are super rough times . . . . . .Who was the boxer who said, "Everyone has a plan until they get hit." ? . . . . . . . . similarly, remaining polite and respectful is possible until life deals you some agonizing blow.

I keep thinking that in 10 years we will know how the pandemic should have been played. Until then very fallible humans are making their best guesses. Some of these best guesses are horribly wrong; I'm thinking of the Fourth Liberty Loan Drive parade in Philadelphia in 1918. The folks in charge just didn't know.

Miss Perfumado, I'm not really disagreeing just bringing up the reality of human emotional endurance; it does have its limits. I really agree with the "question" part. Keep thinking all; we can figure this out and find better solutions for future pandemics.

Lpg

As a hairdresser this did make me LOL its hat weather where I am

But prettiekittie is right... They are making a comeback