Raeven58

Thank you to the wonderful folks who commented on my.first day. Lots of encouragement. Not my.first time trying to stop but this feels different. I went from one drink to off the cliff while going through my divorce from an emotionally abusive man. I had a house, decent income, he didntbwork for 7 years, just demanded more. Nearly bankruptcy me in the divorce, I had to pay him support and a portion of the value of the house. Not an excuse, but that was when I went down, stress, pain, drinking took that away. Fast forward 6 years, I paid off that nightmare, rebuilt my life, sold my house, moved to the country with my Significant Other. The only thing that didn't change was I brought the alcohol with me. The lock down allowed me to drink any, or every, night. I should be happy, able to.cope, no one is abusing me, berating me...I'm comfortable in the woods, bought a kayak, of course it's too cold, but really looking forward to it. It's been in my head that I need to stop for my relationship but finally understood I have to do this for me. I want to be around to enjoy my retirement, love my grand babies, go kayaking...

One small split of champagne left in fridge, dumping today. Then house will be clear.

Is it wrong to use my lovely crystal for juice or soda? I do like the ritual.

Biggest concern right now is sleep. I've used wine to.help me sleep. I can't take Melatonin, it makes me dizzy.

Long ramble, thank you. I'm really glad I can ci.e here.

Kaptn

Use the crystal, everyday!
Sleep will regulate, there are lots of pre-sleep rituals that can help (warm bath, meditation, glass of milk) instead of OTC medicine. You may have to work thru it a bit to find what works.

Raeven58

thank you!!

Raeven58

I don't mean to.sound like it wasn't bad. I didn't get arrested, but I fell, a lot. I would wake up in bed covered in bruises, some of which had to be carefully covered yo go into the world. There are also a few visible scars. I woke with so.e soreness in my face, went to the bathroom and realized my face was covered in blood and I had a huge gash across my forehead that split my.brow. pieced together later o fell on to a cardboard box, based on blood trails. Probably needed stitches but was ashamed, taped it together and avoided the office for a couple days, cut bangs to.hide it. I'm pretty good with makeup so no one asked. A few broken bones, ribs mostly. I was a mess. I'm lucky I'm still here.

Mizz

Use the crystal everyday for whatever you want! Pour some coffee in there!

It sounds like you have gone through the ringer lately.

I do think your sobriety and that Kayak are patiently waiting for you. Today is the day to make the most of your life.
You already have been through so much in regards to your ex, the house etc. You can do this and be better off. I believe in you!

BrianK

Your description of what you've been through made me think of my last drunk and hangover and how the morning after drinking is like a physical manifestation of our souls when we decide to drink. I have a hard time being still and just being, but I'm noticing more and more the joy of just sipping coffee, interacting on here, reading, not needing a "plan to make the day worthwhile." It's ok to just experience the moment we have and be grateful for it. We don't deserve that pain and never did. And we don't have to experience any of that any more. We're free if we want to be.

Peace and Blessings to you! Keep healing!!!

Raeven58

thank you, your words actually brought tears, so it must be what I needed

BrianK

Same happened to me while typing it. Felt like Someone was sharing a gift with all of us!

Sober45

Hi Raeven58. When I stopped drinking I had to deal with the hand-to-mouth/oral gratification thing. I replaced alcohol with soda drinks for the first while. I used the same glasses I used for wine. I know that doesn't sound very healthy but the sugar and movements really kept the cravings at bay. Now I'm able to focus more on healthy eating without worry of relapse.

I also had to stay connected to the way I felt on Day 1 of sobriety. For me that meant being on SR pretty much every waking hour. Stay close my friend, sobriety is very doable for us all.

Raeven58

[QUOTE=Mizz;7565259]Use the crystal everyday for whatever you want! Pour some coffee in
thank you!!!

Anna

Day 3 is great news.

I also began using alcohol to cope with a time in my life which was full of pressures and demands. It helped me sleep. I didn't expect to add the problem of alcoholism to my life, but it happened. I'm glad you've been able to pick up the pieces since your divorce and have moved on. Now is the time to remove alcohol from your life and be the person you want to be.