rebeccacarrie

I feel good this time, its not a New Year's thing, I think it is just time. I have been struggling for 30 years, some years have been worse than others. This time its not because I am completely out of my mind, I have been worse before. This time it is because I am just sick of it. I am sick of feeling embarrassed when I drink too much, I am sick of being aware of my body dying in real time. I can have a good life, I do have a good life, but if I don't change I am going to lose everything, and I know that. I will keep myself in check here. So glad I made it back to the forums, I was here before, but I didn't last long. This time will be different.

Billymacintosh

Welcome back RC, so glad to have you with us do you have a plan for on going sobriety? I don't know your back story but I cannot recommend sobriety enough, my life is 100% more joyful than it was 10 months ago.
Looking forward to hearing more from you
Love Billy x

theVman31

Welcome and well done.
Stick around

SunnyCoastK

Welcome back Rebeccacarrie! You bet your bottom dollar that this is it! You can do it!!! I’ve got roughly the same amount of years spent drinking as you do and am having similar thoughts about the damage I have caused and the greater possibility that I may not have the life span I could have had if I had quit ten or fifteen or twenty years ago.

Hope to see you around a lot!! Xx

Dee74

Welcome (back) rebeccacarrie
I felt it was time too - best decision I ever made

D

rebeccacarrie

Thank You for all of the positive responses! I have come a long way from how I used to drink, my lifestyle changed, I exercise everyday, have a good relationship with God. I just was trying to be a normal drinker, using wine with dinner, waiting all day for dinner so I could drink my wine without feeling bad. Problem is that the wine was never enough, had to sneak in some vodka, open an extra bottle of wine ect... Heavy binging on the weekend. I can't fool myself any longer, I know I can't drink, even one drop, I just don't stop. I was telling myself your not drinking whiskey everyday like you did 5 years ago. It's almost like I was telling myself the vodka I have been sneaking doesn't count, or the wine is what you are supposed to have at the end of the day is ok. None of this is OK for me, I feel myself turning into the ex that I left, I don't want to be that, I know I can do this, at least today I will do this. My plan is to stay close to this forum, reach out when I need help, and pray, pray for strength to stay sober another day, today.

slayingthedrago

good morning rebecca- I only have 15 days myself and the first week I was right where you are. You can do this, I can hear it in your voice. You know deep down you can't continue the way your going, it is a 1 way path in the wrong direction and it will only get worse. keep close to SR...

Chancellor

rebeccacarrie, I am right here with you. Back again but this time I have a, dare I say, but hint of excitement. I want this and need this. Day 5 here and woke up clear headed and feeling good. Take care!

Kaptn

Hang in there, life is worth it. And so are you.

BrianK

I feel the Spirit coming through your posts. Like, I'm fuller inside just reading what you're saying. Tomorrow will be a week sober for me, and the voice and desires you're describing are where I'm at now too. I spent this morning delighting in the fact that I'm alive to enjoy the morning, with nothing to "do", but just be. Life is good!

Anna

Welcome back, Rebeccacarrie. I'm glad you are committed to stopping drinking.

Sober45

I can relate. I was a daily drinker for many years before I quit in Jan 2020. Like you, I was making improvements before I quit drinking...like exercise and quitting smoking. I ate super clean too most of the time. Most of it was to justify having my buzz. The weekends were oblivion.

I had to accept once and for all that moderation would never be possible. I decided that, even if I could moderate at times, it wasn't worth the energy anymore.

It sounds like you're ready to make sobriety work!