Jillga

I drank over my problems--primarily problems with people, including problems with myself. I was hurt, angry, resentful, & fearful so I drank. I drank so I didn't have to think about my pain. Then I blacked out. Then I woke up and my pain and problems had multiplied. I knew I had to stop drinking. And after my last (1000th) relapse, I knew something else. I HAD to find another way to deal with my pain and problems. Since pain and problems are inevitable, I needed a new perspective or else drinking would be inevitable. So, I am trying to teach myself to be aware of what I am feeling, figure out why I am feeling it, and then see what God is teaching me, how I can grow by walking in love through the painful feelings, and get to the other side with a new strength in me and a new compassion and understanding of others. For those of you down the road in front of me on these things, I would love to hear from you! Love to all!1

tomls

It took me months or even a year or two to really feel comfortable all of the time. For a long time I felt like I was missing something. I hardly ever any more. Best wishes.

tomls

When things were really bothering me I would and still do meditate or just take a nap and that seems to help.

Anna

Yes! I found I needed to do the same thing. I referred to it as learning to be quiet and to listen to my soul. The answers were there, I just needed to hear them.

Meditation is very helpful, I find. I also find that journalling helps. I'm not very consistent with journalling and tend to do it when I'm stressed about something. But, it does help.

Steely

It was the same for me Jillga. Drank so as to make "life" go away, but life has a habit of remaining. I learned that by getting sober I no longer want life to go away, I now want to change my life, so that it becomes the life I want.

Alcohol never has, never will, offer me a chance at life, it will strip it away with a morbid grin. Then offer me another shot. Alcohol doesn't want me to live. I do, now.

We're on the right track Jillga. Let's keep going. It's hard, but definitely interesting, and I like it so much more.

advbike

I was seeing a psychologist a few years ago and he would ask me what "I was feeling".. and I couldn't even tell him. I literally buried all my feelings, something I probably started in childhood. We didn't discuss these things at home, lol. It is also reinforced by male culture of course. The concept of acknowledging feelings was totally alien to me. So when you have all this stuff buried you just react to everything and don't even know why. Now I do better at "checking in" on my feelings regularly. Am I angry? Sad? Happy? I tend to drink when I'm happy and having a good time, although relationship stress also will do it.

Getting in touch with our feelings is really important because once you acknowledge you're feeling a certain way you can do something about it - take a walk, talk to someone about it, tell a person how something they do makes you feel, etc. These actions are all better than drinking and lead to even better behaviors like taking care of ourselves, and setting boundaries.

Dee74

I found with every problem I solved sober, the less I wanted to drink.
I had no idea how capable I was because I tried to drink away every problem rather than solving it.

It may sound perverse but I quite like having problems to solve now.
Its a process and takes time, but I'm sure you'll get there too.

D

Delilah1

I found that I was drinking for the same reasons, I would say it was to relieve stress at the end of the day, but truthfully whatever was bothering me was still there the next day and I woke up even more anxious about it.

Life definitely doesn’t stop, and since I’ve been sober I’ve dealt with death, financial issues, everyday life stresses, and of course 2020 in general. There are a few things that really help me:

• Allowing myself to actually feel whatever emotion I am having rather than masking it with alcohol, this might have meant a good cry, or feeling angry or frustrated, whatever that emotion I let myself feel it, and found ways to deal with it in a healthy manner.
• Walking, I get outdoors for a walk everyday, the combination of exercise and nature is a great way to relieve stress. I have even started building short walk breaks into my work day to clear my head, and then a longer walk later in the day.
• Breathing, taking a moment to calm myself with breathing is a greatnesses way to deal with anxiety, anger or frustrations, I will sometimes count, or use my Apple Watch which helps pace my deep breaths.
• Mindfulness, this is one I still am working on, and I find it really helpful. I work really hard to remain focused on the present. I cannot change my past, on,y learn from it, so stressing about what I could have or should have done differently is pointless. Worrying about what might happen in the future is also pointless, I cannot control it, but I can control the current moment, and I work hard to focus on staying there and making positive choices in the moment. I still find myself worrying about the future more than I would like, so that is something I’m still working on.

Hope this helps!
❤️ Delilah

theVman31

Hello,

Life is so much easier and peaceful for me today with over 9 months sobriety. I can deal with real life problems without being all consumed with problems i created for myself with my out of control alcoholic life. I like this :

"So, I am trying to teach myself to be aware of what I am feeling, figure out why I am feeling it, and then see what God is teaching me, how I can grow by walking in love through the painful feelings, and get to the other side with a new strength in me and a new compassion and understanding of others. For those of you down the road in front of me on these things, I would love to hear from you! Love to all!"

Take care

RecklessDrunk

Steps 3 - 7

After nearly a year in recovery i lost a job i had for well over a decade. I was functioning when using so no matter how bad my drinking and druggin I answered the bell for work over the years.

That far along in recovery the obsession instantly went from apparently down for the count to pounding on me in the corner of the ring. The craving for alcohol came back instantly, even physically i felt it in my chest, my blood, my bones.

I signed a severance agreement to stay on temporarily but went home a couple hours early that day. The obsession would not stop. I had an AA meeting but it wasn't for a few more hours. I don't want to bother my sponsor at work even if I can reach him. Its not like you carry a sponsor in your pocket sometimes you gotta cowboy up.

I was having trouble with this obsession i could not sit still or hold a thought. I tried just reading the internet to waste time. This was before I even knew of SR. So I decided to just pray. Not even say anything, just kind of shut thoughts down and seek God.

Then I thought why do I need a drink? Maybe because of my financial insecurity and my emotional insecurity. How will I survive and suddenly I'm not good enough, those things. Let God remove this nonsense that holds me back. I went foward with a cross country road trip I had already planned which took place during severance. Complete uncertainty yet I had one of my better vacations. Probably my most relaxed. I was able to put all the crap in my head aside and appreciate the beauty of the country (America). Able to enjoy the company of family and friends without alcohol.

I returned home, finished out the old job, got to work looking for a new one. It was tough but i got through it and ended up in a better place.

WhiskeyBent

Great Post!

I need to do this. Allow myself to feel. I mask my anxiety and worries with booze. I need to learn to sit with the actual feeling. Get to the root of why i am feeling it. Not covering it up. This is big for me in 2021. Need to work on this.

Walking, Breathe work, and mindfulness are all high on my list. Keep us posted on your successes.

thanks for sharing.

stickyone

Great post I was also a person that used drugs and alcohol to numb the emotions that I did not want to deal with. It was always easy to just use and numb out the problems. But it comes back afterwards. Practicing Mindfulness and meditation and being grateful. Has help tremendously to understand these emotions and feelings we all go through during hard times. What I found most beneficial is the love that warms up I'm my heart for myself when I accomplished something during a hard time without the use of alcohol or drugs.