7years no alcohol
waking down
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 4,641
7years no alcohol
Seven years ago today I quit drinking after quitting weed on the solstice and other drugs one after the other over the course of decades. The only drugs I do now are (moderate) caffeine use and the rare sugary treat.
I visit SR once in a while, sometimes to chime in, but mostly to remind myself why I don't want to go back. In fact, from many posts I read, I've realized that for many the focus is on avoiding going back, though I wish there were more talk about moving forward.
Truth be told, quitting was the easy part. It wasn't fun anymore, and Christmas Eve 2013 almost killed me, so I tapered off a couple days and that was that. I had to... I had quit many times previously, but never saying never again. This time it was most definitely never again, and I believe that's why it stuck.
Any cravings I had were mostly about wanting to interrupt the strange horror of confronting my own mind, my sober self, that person long buried in the web of neural pathways inside my skull.
Sobriety is about quitting.
Recovery is about starting.
When we focus on sobriety we are fighting old patterns; we are at war with our own brains.
When we focus on recovery we are actively befriending ourselves and life as it is.
Sobriety often includes fear of going backwards.
Recovery is about the courage to stride forward.
Sobriety is about hiding in the trenches.
Recovery is about charging through and beyond enemy lines.
Sobriety is about circling in the back field.
Recovery is about straight-arming to the goal line.
Sobriety is about fear of falling.
Recovery is about knowing we can get back up.
Sobriety is about avoiding.
Recovery is about embracing.
Embracing a new life, rather than mourning the old. Embracing ourselves as we are, forgiving ourselves and those we have so long blamed, and discovering that within us and around us we had long been too scared to notice. None of this is easy, but it can be done, it has been done, and it's being done right now by hurt and traumatized and once-frightened people around the world.
For me, it has been about letting go of all those things I used to regret, the bitterness toward others and myself. I had been torn down and torn myself down enough. It was time to start building. It was time to build on what I already knew, the interests and creativity numbed and saturated with alcohol and other drugs, the talents and potential that were always there but that could not fully express themselves through the fog of fear and self doubt. The blessing of losing hope, of feeling like I had nothing to lose, was that it freed me to care less about what anyone thinks, to care less about what I think, and to just be, allowing myself to be as I am, allowing the world to be what it is, to withhold judgement toward myself and all of it. Underneath every pile of garbage is Earth, doing her best to nourish and germinate new life. Focus not on the garbage, but rather, scatter it with seeds, water it, have patience, and see what grows.
I visit SR once in a while, sometimes to chime in, but mostly to remind myself why I don't want to go back. In fact, from many posts I read, I've realized that for many the focus is on avoiding going back, though I wish there were more talk about moving forward.
Truth be told, quitting was the easy part. It wasn't fun anymore, and Christmas Eve 2013 almost killed me, so I tapered off a couple days and that was that. I had to... I had quit many times previously, but never saying never again. This time it was most definitely never again, and I believe that's why it stuck.
Any cravings I had were mostly about wanting to interrupt the strange horror of confronting my own mind, my sober self, that person long buried in the web of neural pathways inside my skull.
Sobriety is about quitting.
Recovery is about starting.
When we focus on sobriety we are fighting old patterns; we are at war with our own brains.
When we focus on recovery we are actively befriending ourselves and life as it is.
Sobriety often includes fear of going backwards.
Recovery is about the courage to stride forward.
Sobriety is about hiding in the trenches.
Recovery is about charging through and beyond enemy lines.
Sobriety is about circling in the back field.
Recovery is about straight-arming to the goal line.
Sobriety is about fear of falling.
Recovery is about knowing we can get back up.
Sobriety is about avoiding.
Recovery is about embracing.
Embracing a new life, rather than mourning the old. Embracing ourselves as we are, forgiving ourselves and those we have so long blamed, and discovering that within us and around us we had long been too scared to notice. None of this is easy, but it can be done, it has been done, and it's being done right now by hurt and traumatized and once-frightened people around the world.
For me, it has been about letting go of all those things I used to regret, the bitterness toward others and myself. I had been torn down and torn myself down enough. It was time to start building. It was time to build on what I already knew, the interests and creativity numbed and saturated with alcohol and other drugs, the talents and potential that were always there but that could not fully express themselves through the fog of fear and self doubt. The blessing of losing hope, of feeling like I had nothing to lose, was that it freed me to care less about what anyone thinks, to care less about what I think, and to just be, allowing myself to be as I am, allowing the world to be what it is, to withhold judgement toward myself and all of it. Underneath every pile of garbage is Earth, doing her best to nourish and germinate new life. Focus not on the garbage, but rather, scatter it with seeds, water it, have patience, and see what grows.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,201
Congratulations on 7 years zerothehero, however you look at it that is a wonderful achievement. Not drinking is the essential foundation, it gets us to life's starting line but I agree recovery is about more than simply not drinking.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,947
7 years! ab-fab 
An underling condition can contribute to ones alcoholism. Addressing just the alcoholic drinking and not the 'why' has cost me my absence way more than once.
An underling condition can contribute to ones alcoholism. Addressing just the alcoholic drinking and not the 'why' has cost me my absence way more than once.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,584
Very good post Zerothehero. Congratulations on 7 years of wonderful sobriety.
I think we/newcomers do think about "moving forward", but in these early days can feel our feet stuck. But with every day sober we make gigantic leaps forward. We are learning to live, and getting sober is that first step towards the future we yearn.
Everything you note, is true, I believe. But we/I are healing, and can't rush things. But, we know.
I am genuinely happy for what you have found. I'm finding my way. 🐾
Here's hoping 2021 will be a better year for us all.
I think we/newcomers do think about "moving forward", but in these early days can feel our feet stuck. But with every day sober we make gigantic leaps forward. We are learning to live, and getting sober is that first step towards the future we yearn.
Everything you note, is true, I believe. But we/I are healing, and can't rush things. But, we know.
I am genuinely happy for what you have found. I'm finding my way. 🐾
Here's hoping 2021 will be a better year for us all.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by zerothehero 
Seven years ago today I quit drinking after quitting weed on the solstice and other drugs one after the other over the course of decades. The only drugs I do now are (moderate) caffeine use and the rare sugary treat.
I visit SR once in a while, sometimes to chime in, but mostly to remind myself why I don't want to go back. In fact, from many posts I read, I've realized that for many the focus is on avoiding going back, though I wish there were more talk about moving forward.
Truth be told, quitting was the easy part. It wasn't fun anymore, and Christmas Eve 2013 almost killed me, so I tapered off a couple days and that was that. I had to... I had quit many times previously, but never saying never again. This time it was most definitely never again, and I believe that's why it stuck.
Any cravings I had were mostly about wanting to interrupt the strange horror of confronting my own mind, my sober self, that person long buried in the web of neural pathways inside my skull.
Sobriety is about quitting.
Recovery is about starting.
When we focus on sobriety we are fighting old patterns; we are at war with our own brains.
When we focus on recovery we are actively befriending ourselves and life as it is.
Sobriety often includes fear of going backwards.
Recovery is about the courage to stride forward.
Sobriety is about hiding in the trenches.
Recovery is about charging through and beyond enemy lines.
Sobriety is about circling in the back field.
Recovery is about straight-arming to the goal line.
Sobriety is about fear of falling.
Recovery is about knowing we can get back up.
Sobriety is about avoiding.
Recovery is about embracing.
Embracing a new life, rather than mourning the old. Embracing ourselves as we are, forgiving ourselves and those we have so long blamed, and discovering that within us and around us we had long been too scared to notice. None of this is easy, but it can be done, it has been done, and it's being done right now by hurt and traumatized and once-frightened people around the world.
For me, it has been about letting go of all those things I used to regret, the bitterness toward others and myself. I had been torn down and torn myself down enough. It was time to start building. It was time to build on what I already knew, the interests and creativity numbed and saturated with alcohol and other drugs, the talents and potential that were always there but that could not fully express themselves through the fog of fear and self doubt. The blessing of losing hope, of feeling like I had nothing to lose, was that it freed me to care less about what anyone thinks, to care less about what I think, and to just be, allowing myself to be as I am, allowing the world to be what it is, to withhold judgement toward myself and all of it. Underneath every pile of garbage is Earth, doing her best to nourish and germinate new life. Focus not on the garbage, but rather, scatter it with seeds, water it, have patience, and see what grows.
I visit SR once in a while, sometimes to chime in, but mostly to remind myself why I don't want to go back. In fact, from many posts I read, I've realized that for many the focus is on avoiding going back, though I wish there were more talk about moving forward.
Truth be told, quitting was the easy part. It wasn't fun anymore, and Christmas Eve 2013 almost killed me, so I tapered off a couple days and that was that. I had to... I had quit many times previously, but never saying never again. This time it was most definitely never again, and I believe that's why it stuck.
Any cravings I had were mostly about wanting to interrupt the strange horror of confronting my own mind, my sober self, that person long buried in the web of neural pathways inside my skull.
Sobriety is about quitting.
Recovery is about starting.
When we focus on sobriety we are fighting old patterns; we are at war with our own brains.
When we focus on recovery we are actively befriending ourselves and life as it is.
Sobriety often includes fear of going backwards.
Recovery is about the courage to stride forward.
Sobriety is about hiding in the trenches.
Recovery is about charging through and beyond enemy lines.
Sobriety is about circling in the back field.
Recovery is about straight-arming to the goal line.
Sobriety is about fear of falling.
Recovery is about knowing we can get back up.
Sobriety is about avoiding.
Recovery is about embracing.
Embracing a new life, rather than mourning the old. Embracing ourselves as we are, forgiving ourselves and those we have so long blamed, and discovering that within us and around us we had long been too scared to notice. None of this is easy, but it can be done, it has been done, and it's being done right now by hurt and traumatized and once-frightened people around the world.
For me, it has been about letting go of all those things I used to regret, the bitterness toward others and myself. I had been torn down and torn myself down enough. It was time to start building. It was time to build on what I already knew, the interests and creativity numbed and saturated with alcohol and other drugs, the talents and potential that were always there but that could not fully express themselves through the fog of fear and self doubt. The blessing of losing hope, of feeling like I had nothing to lose, was that it freed me to care less about what anyone thinks, to care less about what I think, and to just be, allowing myself to be as I am, allowing the world to be what it is, to withhold judgement toward myself and all of it. Underneath every pile of garbage is Earth, doing her best to nourish and germinate new life. Focus not on the garbage, but rather, scatter it with seeds, water it, have patience, and see what grows.
Today is also seven years for me....
I'm choosing to repost on your post because it's so perfectly in line with my own experience....
Well done.... and here's to a lifetime of sobriety to come!
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