I'm Back
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
WB, glad to see you on Day 3. That's a first for me, inspiring someone else to pray, but I'm glad as I do think putting the call out there means it will be heard.
The complacency once you start to feel better, yeah, I'm sure many of us can relate. I read a lot of stories of relapsing here, and many saying it gets much worse picking up each time after a period of abstinence. I learned about kindling, and it scared me into staying sober even when my body began to heal. It was really helpful for me to understand what alcohol does not just to the organs but to the brain chemistry, especially the production of neurotransmitters like GABA. Basically, each time the body goes through withdrawal, the effects on the brain are worse and worse, to the point of being potentially life-threatening. As I began to see that I was going into withdrawal in the mornings, i.e. I was getting physically dependent on alcohol, I knew I had done lasting damage to my brain chemistry. That has motivated me to stay stopped too.
The complacency once you start to feel better, yeah, I'm sure many of us can relate. I read a lot of stories of relapsing here, and many saying it gets much worse picking up each time after a period of abstinence. I learned about kindling, and it scared me into staying sober even when my body began to heal. It was really helpful for me to understand what alcohol does not just to the organs but to the brain chemistry, especially the production of neurotransmitters like GABA. Basically, each time the body goes through withdrawal, the effects on the brain are worse and worse, to the point of being potentially life-threatening. As I began to see that I was going into withdrawal in the mornings, i.e. I was getting physically dependent on alcohol, I knew I had done lasting damage to my brain chemistry. That has motivated me to stay stopped too.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 371
Good Sleep. Clear head. I have an small event to attend tonight, others will be drinking. I am not. Thinking about my action plan for the evening.
MP - I have been reading lots of science about the harmful effects, right into the medical journals. I don't know have the words but its fun to pretend. Any which way it is good to keep reading and informing myself. Knowledge is power.
I'm just hanging out on this site. Reading a lot of posts last night. Made it to page 5 on the newcomers thread. Many words of wisdom. The good news is my stomach has settled down. Now to put some good nutritious food in there, maybe this time it will get absorbed into my body. Get a bit of exercise in. One of my kids turns 9 today. Put lots of sober love into him.
Thanks for reading
Day 4
MP - I have been reading lots of science about the harmful effects, right into the medical journals. I don't know have the words but its fun to pretend. Any which way it is good to keep reading and informing myself. Knowledge is power.
I'm just hanging out on this site. Reading a lot of posts last night. Made it to page 5 on the newcomers thread. Many words of wisdom. The good news is my stomach has settled down. Now to put some good nutritious food in there, maybe this time it will get absorbed into my body. Get a bit of exercise in. One of my kids turns 9 today. Put lots of sober love into him.
Thanks for reading
Day 4
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,036
Welcome back, I first joined in 2012 as well, and spent the first few years on here alternating between short periods of sobriety and failed attempts at moderation. NYE 2015 something was different, I just decided that I was done, I finally wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink. I will celebrate five years on January 1st, and SR was and still is a huge part of my recovery.
Two really good forums are the 24 Hour Recovery Forum, and also the monthly classes, you may want to check in with the December of 2020 Class, and the 24 Hour Recovery Thread.
You can do this, and I promise you sobriety is worth it, you are worth it.
Two really good forums are the 24 Hour Recovery Forum, and also the monthly classes, you may want to check in with the December of 2020 Class, and the 24 Hour Recovery Thread.
You can do this, and I promise you sobriety is worth it, you are worth it.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
I second what Delilah said about joining a thread like the 'Class of' and '24 hour Recovery Thread'.
Because they are smaller groups, you can get to know people better and for me it felt a safe space to be more specific about what was going on in my life and what I had to deal with. That helped with tips and tools.
For example, I had a work event early on and I was nervous about going to something with people drinking. I put it out there and people in my SR Class actually encouraged me not to go. That was good advice but I kind of had to, it was a work thing, and I was asked to give a short speech. I had fortunately confided in one close friend about my drinking and she happened to be attending. I stayed glued to her, for accountability and support, and I left the event as soon as it was polite to. I was so thrilled to come back and tell everyone in my Class that I had made it!
Being in the Class was also good for accountability. I felt I didn't want to let people in my Class down and so felt compelled to show up every day and keep going not just for myself but for them.
Because they are smaller groups, you can get to know people better and for me it felt a safe space to be more specific about what was going on in my life and what I had to deal with. That helped with tips and tools.
For example, I had a work event early on and I was nervous about going to something with people drinking. I put it out there and people in my SR Class actually encouraged me not to go. That was good advice but I kind of had to, it was a work thing, and I was asked to give a short speech. I had fortunately confided in one close friend about my drinking and she happened to be attending. I stayed glued to her, for accountability and support, and I left the event as soon as it was polite to. I was so thrilled to come back and tell everyone in my Class that I had made it!
Being in the Class was also good for accountability. I felt I didn't want to let people in my Class down and so felt compelled to show up every day and keep going not just for myself but for them.
Erica375
Join Date: Aug 2020
Location: MA
Posts: 493
You can do it, WB! What are you doing for NYE? Do you have a plan for what to do if/when your AV starts whispering in your ear? One thing on your list could be to come here and post to ask for support.
And tomorrow we will wake up with no shame or regret!
And tomorrow we will wake up with no shame or regret!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 371
Well lessons learned. I white knuckled it through a small get together with everyone else drinking. About 11PM i broke down and said i'm outta here....left and went to bed.
The good news is woke up in the morning and had a great conversation with my daughter. One on one totally coherent and productive. Then cooked her breakfast and started our day.
That would have never happened in previous years. I would have been hungover as ever. Not wanting to talk, sluggish and grumpy. Probably thinking that I needed a drink to get rid of this hangover.
So instant karma for not drinking was something positive waiting for me only 8 hours later. OK, I can get use to this.
Happy new year everyone.
The good news is woke up in the morning and had a great conversation with my daughter. One on one totally coherent and productive. Then cooked her breakfast and started our day.
That would have never happened in previous years. I would have been hungover as ever. Not wanting to talk, sluggish and grumpy. Probably thinking that I needed a drink to get rid of this hangover.
So instant karma for not drinking was something positive waiting for me only 8 hours later. OK, I can get use to this.
Happy new year everyone.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Glad to hear you made it through. After I first quit I tried to "test" myself by seeing if I could do all the same things I had done before - hanging out in the same places, with the same people, etc. The results were similar - I did make it through but realized that there was really nothing left for me in those places other than a handful of people that were true friends.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 371
Wise words Scott....thank you.
I was surrounded by family and friends that love me and didn't bug me too much about not drinking, even though you would have thought I told them i had three eyes. Not drinking for one night should be that surprising.....or maybe my reputation preceded it self. That brings up an interesting idea, do you have to live up to your drinking reputation? Life of the party? Funny guy? Is it OK to be the new you? Last night I was in good hands. Thank god.
But i also didn't miss the dumb talk. Around 10PM the adults just started talking sh#t. I didn't think it was funny and kind of removed myself from the conversation. Not because im a prude, I would have been right in the middle of it drinking.....probably leading the charge. Sober ears don't care for too much of garbage talk. Anyway, just an observation.
I was surrounded by family and friends that love me and didn't bug me too much about not drinking, even though you would have thought I told them i had three eyes. Not drinking for one night should be that surprising.....or maybe my reputation preceded it self. That brings up an interesting idea, do you have to live up to your drinking reputation? Life of the party? Funny guy? Is it OK to be the new you? Last night I was in good hands. Thank god.
But i also didn't miss the dumb talk. Around 10PM the adults just started talking sh#t. I didn't think it was funny and kind of removed myself from the conversation. Not because im a prude, I would have been right in the middle of it drinking.....probably leading the charge. Sober ears don't care for too much of garbage talk. Anyway, just an observation.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 371
Day 17 or my sober app say 56.9% of a month. I like the ring of both!
Each day is getting a little easier. It helps that we are in lock down around here. No where to go, nothing to buy, working from home. If I don't buy booze, I guess I have non to drink. Simple as that. Not that my AV isnt screaming at me few times a day. I figure the AV will be kicking around for a while. It will be hard to unwind the years of brain rewiring.
I can feel my body slowly healing my insides. Put only good things inside, and having solid sleeps, maybe I can turn around the damage to the GI track. Anxiety is ebb and flow. I used to drink to make it go away. So now I am learning to just sit with the anxiety.Try to peel away the layer and see why im feeling it. Maybe taking subtle shifts to move towards a happier state.
I am thankful for this site and all of you. I really enjoy reading your feedback to me and your own personal stories. We are all working towards a common goal. We can do this.
Have a good night.
Each day is getting a little easier. It helps that we are in lock down around here. No where to go, nothing to buy, working from home. If I don't buy booze, I guess I have non to drink. Simple as that. Not that my AV isnt screaming at me few times a day. I figure the AV will be kicking around for a while. It will be hard to unwind the years of brain rewiring.
I can feel my body slowly healing my insides. Put only good things inside, and having solid sleeps, maybe I can turn around the damage to the GI track. Anxiety is ebb and flow. I used to drink to make it go away. So now I am learning to just sit with the anxiety.Try to peel away the layer and see why im feeling it. Maybe taking subtle shifts to move towards a happier state.
I am thankful for this site and all of you. I really enjoy reading your feedback to me and your own personal stories. We are all working towards a common goal. We can do this.
Have a good night.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
That is great WhiskeyBent. I'm glad you are feeling better. I did have awful GI issues at the end of my drinking days too. They resolved themselves but a year later I still really watch what I put in my body. If I eat particularly unhealthy with too much sugar or red meat, my body rebels in very unpleasant ways, JUST LIKE when I was drinking. But if I am sensible I am fine. Congrats on 17 days!!!
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