Ready
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Join Date: Jul 2020
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Ready
Hi everyone. So my first post a little while a go was about trying to moderate my alcohol consumption and tried tapering. It hasn't worked and I am drinking more than ever. I have read This Naked Mind and really thought I could manage it but the book is right- sobietry is needed. This might sound like I am already defeated- but I need to get Christmas and New Year out if the way. I will fail if I try at this point. I am wasting my life, ruled by drink.
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
I'm so glad you posted your thoughts, beaver08. I had to come to that realization too - I can never be a social drinker. I wasted so much time clinging to it - afraid to experience life without a buffer. That attitude led to 24/7 drinking & chaos. I wasn't happy or carefree - I was terrified, weak, & in danger. It was such a relief to finally get free of my dependency. You can do it, beaver - we will help. A whole new world awaits.
Not The Way way, Just the way
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: US
Posts: 1,413
Originally Posted by beaver08 
Hi everyone. So my first post a little while a go was about trying to moderate my alcohol consumption and tried tapering. It hasn't worked and I am drinking more than ever. I have read This Naked Mind and really thought I could manage it but the book is right- sobietry is needed. This might sound like I am already defeated- but I need to get Christmas and New Year out if the way. I will fail if I try at this point. I am wasting my life, ruled by drink.
Hi B08,
I’m guessing this means you will take your last drink at 12:01am on Jan 1, 2021, or soon thereafter, as you toast in the new new year.
I believe you could decide right now that you’ve already had your last drink, but I hear (not that you would fail, but) that you do not want to stop right now. As you continue to drink and celebrate, please think about what would be different if you were not intoxicated at some of the points in the next ten days when you are intoxicated. This will help prepare you for what will become your killing off the drunken you starting Jan 1st. Revel in how you are feeling while drunk and realize, you will soon never be feeling that way again - for the rest of your life. You know it is not worth it.
How you WILL be feeling in the future will be totally based on HUMAN emotion, not the BEASTLY emotions of chemically enhanced stupidity that coincide with the massive assault of pleasure hammered into your brain by ethanol (the same stuff that powers your car).
In any case, welcome back to SR. I am confident you will enjoy abstinence once you decide to quit for good.
GT
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I understand thinking you'd fail if you tried to stop right now - I fell for that too.
Often times it was April or May before I stopped drinking again...
The way I see it, this is not a dress rehearsal this is your life - and every day that gets ticked off as done we can't get back.
Why wouldn't you want to start living the life you want to live as soon as possible?
Not drinking is not a deprivation. It's freedom
Don't believe the voice in your head that tel;s you otherwise.
D
Often times it was April or May before I stopped drinking again...
The way I see it, this is not a dress rehearsal this is your life - and every day that gets ticked off as done we can't get back.
Why wouldn't you want to start living the life you want to live as soon as possible?
Not drinking is not a deprivation. It's freedom
Don't believe the voice in your head that tel;s you otherwise.
D
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,505
I ended up drinking more when I tried to taper, too. It was an awful time.
Honestly, there is no good time to stop drinking. And, I think that it would help if you looked at it as doing something really positive for yourself, rather than something you're giving up. Today could be a good day to begin sobriety.
Honestly, there is no good time to stop drinking. And, I think that it would help if you looked at it as doing something really positive for yourself, rather than something you're giving up. Today could be a good day to begin sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 94
In terms of getting Christmas and New year out of the way there will always be another time when for whatever reason.
next after that is blue Monday (3rd Monday in January, most depressive day in the year).
could have a few parties, change of seasons, birthdays... so many dates where it is imposible.
i can only speak for my self but it is a common trend that we decide it’s not the right time and have to waiting until certain events have happened.
best thing I think you could do is start arming yourself with recovery. I’m not an AA person but there is some truth to the keep coming back side of things. Even if still going to drink start adding the things to your life that you want. Try some diferent recovery groups and see if you connect with any of them. Keep posting here. Get help... lots pf people go on about meditation. Didn’t work for me. But I enjoy cleaning and it switches me off so on a bad day out come the cleaning products and reorganising. I’m usually so distracted that whatever is on my mind passes or at least dulls down.
I did AA and medical assistance. I ultimately got sober without a program but I had spent years in and out trying everything going so in some ways have a lot of the tools. I have spent numerous hours of my life listening to AA shares and sharing back, done SMART and other groups and therapy, lots of time here, initially just reading for about a year until I actually started to post back. Lots of medical advice. I have taken it all and can’t pin point if any of them did anything in particular but the one thing I got is that it is possible if you keep trying.
next after that is blue Monday (3rd Monday in January, most depressive day in the year).
could have a few parties, change of seasons, birthdays... so many dates where it is imposible.
i can only speak for my self but it is a common trend that we decide it’s not the right time and have to waiting until certain events have happened.
best thing I think you could do is start arming yourself with recovery. I’m not an AA person but there is some truth to the keep coming back side of things. Even if still going to drink start adding the things to your life that you want. Try some diferent recovery groups and see if you connect with any of them. Keep posting here. Get help... lots pf people go on about meditation. Didn’t work for me. But I enjoy cleaning and it switches me off so on a bad day out come the cleaning products and reorganising. I’m usually so distracted that whatever is on my mind passes or at least dulls down.
I did AA and medical assistance. I ultimately got sober without a program but I had spent years in and out trying everything going so in some ways have a lot of the tools. I have spent numerous hours of my life listening to AA shares and sharing back, done SMART and other groups and therapy, lots of time here, initially just reading for about a year until I actually started to post back. Lots of medical advice. I have taken it all and can’t pin point if any of them did anything in particular but the one thing I got is that it is possible if you keep trying.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 11
Hello I am new too and totally here to cheer you on. Think of how bad the nights get over those events where you will do or say something crazy. It’s just not worth it. I am turning 51 and finally figuring out that’s drinking ruins everything! I have lost so much because of the poison. It only gets worse if you keep doing it. Believe me I understand. I am not going to any home parties zip zero this year. Instead I will save the time and money and invest in good books and maybe a massage. You can do this!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
I got ridiculously bendered-outta-my-head after Christmas 7 years ago.... basically all week of Christmas, I think. Hard to really remember, because it got so bad.
Anyway, it was December 28th that I really made the decision and was my first day of sobriety.
That New Year was the first New Year of sobriety for me..... in my adult life for sure and probably most of my life since my teens.
It was a great time of year to be sober, to open myself to a year ahead of embracing sobriety, to close the door on that year and that chapter of alcoholic decline and to open the door with optimism on a New Year and a new hope.
I hope you'll give yourself a Christmas present - of your own presence. Presence in your life. Presence with yourself. Presence to witness the turning of a truly despairing, challenging year to a New Year - and perhaps even a New Age if we put any stake in astrological phenomena.
I hope you'll say out loud to yourself and to whatever Spirit(s) may bear witness: "I choose sobriety. I choose LIFE"..... and I hope you'll do it right now. Not tomorrow. Not Christmas. Not New Year's Day. NOW.
You deserve it.
Anyway, it was December 28th that I really made the decision and was my first day of sobriety.
That New Year was the first New Year of sobriety for me..... in my adult life for sure and probably most of my life since my teens.
It was a great time of year to be sober, to open myself to a year ahead of embracing sobriety, to close the door on that year and that chapter of alcoholic decline and to open the door with optimism on a New Year and a new hope.
I hope you'll give yourself a Christmas present - of your own presence. Presence in your life. Presence with yourself. Presence to witness the turning of a truly despairing, challenging year to a New Year - and perhaps even a New Age if we put any stake in astrological phenomena.
I hope you'll say out loud to yourself and to whatever Spirit(s) may bear witness: "I choose sobriety. I choose LIFE"..... and I hope you'll do it right now. Not tomorrow. Not Christmas. Not New Year's Day. NOW.
You deserve it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2020
Posts: 24
Originally Posted by Hevyn
I'm so glad you posted your thoughts, beaver08. I had to come to that realization too - I can never be a social drinker. I wasted so much time clinging to it - afraid to experience life without a buffer. That attitude led to 24/7 drinking & chaos. I wasn't happy or carefree - I was terrified, weak, & in danger. It was such a relief to finally get free of my dependency. You can do it, beaver - we will help. A whole new world awaits.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2020
Posts: 24
Originally Posted by GerandTwine
Hi B08,
I’m guessing this means you will take your last drink at 12:01am on Jan 1, 2021, or soon thereafter, as you toast in the new new year.
I believe you could decide right now that you’ve already had your last drink, but I hear (not that you would fail, but) that you do not want to stop right now. As you continue to drink and celebrate, please think about what would be different if you were not intoxicated at some of the points in the next ten days when you are intoxicated. This will help prepare you for what will become your killing off the drunken you starting Jan 1st. Revel in how you are feeling while drunk and realize, you will soon never be feeling that way again - for the rest of your life. You know it is not worth it.
How you WILL be feeling in the future will be totally based on HUMAN emotion, not the BEASTLY emotions of chemically enhanced stupidity that coincide with the massive assault of pleasure hammered into your brain by ethanol (the same stuff that powers your car).
In any case, welcome back to SR. I am confident you will enjoy abstinence once you decide to quit for good.
GT
I’m guessing this means you will take your last drink at 12:01am on Jan 1, 2021, or soon thereafter, as you toast in the new new year.
I believe you could decide right now that you’ve already had your last drink, but I hear (not that you would fail, but) that you do not want to stop right now. As you continue to drink and celebrate, please think about what would be different if you were not intoxicated at some of the points in the next ten days when you are intoxicated. This will help prepare you for what will become your killing off the drunken you starting Jan 1st. Revel in how you are feeling while drunk and realize, you will soon never be feeling that way again - for the rest of your life. You know it is not worth it.
How you WILL be feeling in the future will be totally based on HUMAN emotion, not the BEASTLY emotions of chemically enhanced stupidity that coincide with the massive assault of pleasure hammered into your brain by ethanol (the same stuff that powers your car).
In any case, welcome back to SR. I am confident you will enjoy abstinence once you decide to quit for good.
GT
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2020
Posts: 24
Originally Posted by Dee74
I understand thinking you'd fail if you tried to stop right now - I fell for that too.
Often times it was April or May before I stopped drinking again...
The way I see it, this is not a dress rehearsal this is your life - and every day that gets ticked off as done we can't get back.
Why wouldn't you want to start living the life you want to live as soon as possible?
Not drinking is not a deprivation. It's freedom
Don't believe the voice in your head that tel;s you otherwise.
D
Often times it was April or May before I stopped drinking again...
The way I see it, this is not a dress rehearsal this is your life - and every day that gets ticked off as done we can't get back.
Why wouldn't you want to start living the life you want to live as soon as possible?
Not drinking is not a deprivation. It's freedom
Don't believe the voice in your head that tel;s you otherwise.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2020
Posts: 24
Originally Posted by Anna
I ended up drinking more when I tried to taper, too. It was an awful time.
Honestly, there is no good time to stop drinking. And, I think that it would help if you looked at it as doing something really positive for yourself, rather than something you're giving up. Today could be a good day to begin sobriety.
Honestly, there is no good time to stop drinking. And, I think that it would help if you looked at it as doing something really positive for yourself, rather than something you're giving up. Today could be a good day to begin sobriety.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2020
Posts: 24
Originally Posted by least
I hope you'll give sobriety a good try, and not wait til New Year's is out of the way. Start now, that way you won't be hungover on the first day of the new year.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2020
Posts: 24
Originally Posted by Buttery
In terms of getting Christmas and New year out of the way there will always be another time when for whatever reason.
next after that is blue Monday (3rd Monday in January, most depressive day in the year).
could have a few parties, change of seasons, birthdays... so many dates where it is imposible.
i can only speak for my self but it is a common trend that we decide it’s not the right time and have to waiting until certain events have happened.
best thing I think you could do is start arming yourself with recovery. I’m not an AA person but there is some truth to the keep coming back side of things. Even if still going to drink start adding the things to your life that you want. Try some diferent recovery groups and see if you connect with any of them. Keep posting here. Get help... lots pf people go on about meditation. Didn’t work for me. But I enjoy cleaning and it switches me off so on a bad day out come the cleaning products and reorganising. I’m usually so distracted that whatever is on my mind passes or at least dulls down.
I did AA and medical assistance. I ultimately got sober without a program but I had spent years in and out trying everything going so in some ways have a lot of the tools. I have spent numerous hours of my life listening to AA shares and sharing back, done SMART and other groups and therapy, lots of time here, initially just reading for about a year until I actually started to post back. Lots of medical advice. I have taken it all and can’t pin point if any of them did anything in particular but the one thing I got is that it is possible if you keep trying.
next after that is blue Monday (3rd Monday in January, most depressive day in the year).
could have a few parties, change of seasons, birthdays... so many dates where it is imposible.
i can only speak for my self but it is a common trend that we decide it’s not the right time and have to waiting until certain events have happened.
best thing I think you could do is start arming yourself with recovery. I’m not an AA person but there is some truth to the keep coming back side of things. Even if still going to drink start adding the things to your life that you want. Try some diferent recovery groups and see if you connect with any of them. Keep posting here. Get help... lots pf people go on about meditation. Didn’t work for me. But I enjoy cleaning and it switches me off so on a bad day out come the cleaning products and reorganising. I’m usually so distracted that whatever is on my mind passes or at least dulls down.
I did AA and medical assistance. I ultimately got sober without a program but I had spent years in and out trying everything going so in some ways have a lot of the tools. I have spent numerous hours of my life listening to AA shares and sharing back, done SMART and other groups and therapy, lots of time here, initially just reading for about a year until I actually started to post back. Lots of medical advice. I have taken it all and can’t pin point if any of them did anything in particular but the one thing I got is that it is possible if you keep trying.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2020
Posts: 24
Originally Posted by Lynnsophie
Hello I am new too and totally here to cheer you on. Think of how bad the nights get over those events where you will do or say something crazy. It’s just not worth it. I am turning 51 and finally figuring out that’s drinking ruins everything! I have lost so much because of the poison. It only gets worse if you keep doing it. Believe me I understand. I am not going to any home parties zip zero this year. Instead I will save the time and money and invest in good books and maybe a massage. You can do this!
I am cheering you on! A good book and massage sounds like just the ticket!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2020
Posts: 24
Originally Posted by FreeOwl
I got ridiculously bendered-outta-my-head after Christmas 7 years ago.... basically all week of Christmas, I think. Hard to really remember, because it got so bad.
Anyway, it was December 28th that I really made the decision and was my first day of sobriety.
That New Year was the first New Year of sobriety for me..... in my adult life for sure and probably most of my life since my teens.
It was a great time of year to be sober, to open myself to a year ahead of embracing sobriety, to close the door on that year and that chapter of alcoholic decline and to open the door with optimism on a New Year and a new hope.
I hope you'll give yourself a Christmas present - of your own presence. Presence in your life. Presence with yourself. Presence to witness the turning of a truly despairing, challenging year to a New Year - and perhaps even a New Age if we put any stake in astrological phenomena.
I hope you'll say out loud to yourself and to whatever Spirit(s) may bear witness: "I choose sobriety. I choose LIFE"..... and I hope you'll do it right now. Not tomorrow. Not Christmas. Not New Year's Day. NOW.
You deserve it.
Anyway, it was December 28th that I really made the decision and was my first day of sobriety.
That New Year was the first New Year of sobriety for me..... in my adult life for sure and probably most of my life since my teens.
It was a great time of year to be sober, to open myself to a year ahead of embracing sobriety, to close the door on that year and that chapter of alcoholic decline and to open the door with optimism on a New Year and a new hope.
I hope you'll give yourself a Christmas present - of your own presence. Presence in your life. Presence with yourself. Presence to witness the turning of a truly despairing, challenging year to a New Year - and perhaps even a New Age if we put any stake in astrological phenomena.
I hope you'll say out loud to yourself and to whatever Spirit(s) may bear witness: "I choose sobriety. I choose LIFE"..... and I hope you'll do it right now. Not tomorrow. Not Christmas. Not New Year's Day. NOW.
You deserve it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2020
Posts: 24
Originally Posted by fini
hi beaver,
your title says “ready”.
sounds like you are not, not yet, though you want to be.
you decide when you are ready. can be today. or not.
when you are ready, you can.
your title says “ready”.
sounds like you are not, not yet, though you want to be.
you decide when you are ready. can be today. or not.
when you are ready, you can.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
What preparation is needed to stop drinking? Really all it takes is a fu8rm commitment to not pick up that next drink. Its not easy I get that but all it takes is that decision.
As you will hear people say on here you have to want to be sober more than you want to be a drunk. There will always be a reason to out it off another day
As you will hear people say on here you have to want to be sober more than you want to be a drunk. There will always be a reason to out it off another day
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