Why is this so hard
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by PuckLuck 
Why is this so hard? I don't even feel life when I am sober, but when I am drunk or taking pills I feel nirvana.
This is such a battle...
This is such a battle...
We can debate over the differences, I suppose.... Siddhartha makes a point in his early journeys that perhaps Meditation is yet another form of escape.
But, that for me was rationalization. Meditation never made me vomit. Or use something other than a toilet as a toilet. Meditation never landed me in jail or harmed my family. Meditation never led anyone I'm aware of to kill someone with their vehicle.
I don't believe it's Nirvana you feel my friend. Pills, Alcohol, those are a gateway into another 'place', sure.... but let us not conflate that place with the domain of the Spirit.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 3,748
There has to be a point when being sober and present outweighs the "highs" associated with using.
"Nirvana", as you have called it, only lasts for a very short period of time and then its the aftermath (hangovers, behavior, emotional, mental, physical, financial struggle) that needs to be dealt with. I spend way more time in the "aftermath" then I do in the "Nirvana" state. The aftermath was getting more severe and detrimental.
Its not really worth it when I lay it all on the table and look at my life as a whole.
This sober road is not linear and it may take a few tries of abstinence and relapse before recovery sticks. I am not saying it is okay to relapse but it is par for the course for a lot of people.
When drinking or using becomes habitual it is very hard to retrain ourselves out of that habit but we do it and it becomes easier with time.
We all have today. Just today.
"Nirvana", as you have called it, only lasts for a very short period of time and then its the aftermath (hangovers, behavior, emotional, mental, physical, financial struggle) that needs to be dealt with. I spend way more time in the "aftermath" then I do in the "Nirvana" state. The aftermath was getting more severe and detrimental.
Its not really worth it when I lay it all on the table and look at my life as a whole.
This sober road is not linear and it may take a few tries of abstinence and relapse before recovery sticks. I am not saying it is okay to relapse but it is par for the course for a lot of people.
When drinking or using becomes habitual it is very hard to retrain ourselves out of that habit but we do it and it becomes easier with time.
We all have today. Just today.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,417
Originally Posted by Mizz P
There has to be a point when being sober and present outweighs the "highs" associated with using.
"Nirvana", as you have called it, only lasts for a very short period of time and then its the aftermath (hangovers, behavior, emotional, mental, physical, financial struggle) that needs to be dealt with. I spend way more time in the "aftermath" then I do in the "Nirvana" state. The aftermath was getting more severe and detrimental.
Its not really worth it when I lay it all on the table and look at my life as a whole.
This sober road is not linear and it may take a few tries of abstinence and relapse before recovery sticks. I am not saying it is okay to relapse but it is par for the course for a lot of people.
When drinking or using becomes habitual it is very hard to retrain ourselves out of that habit but we do it and it becomes easier with time.
We all have today. Just today.
"Nirvana", as you have called it, only lasts for a very short period of time and then its the aftermath (hangovers, behavior, emotional, mental, physical, financial struggle) that needs to be dealt with. I spend way more time in the "aftermath" then I do in the "Nirvana" state. The aftermath was getting more severe and detrimental.
Its not really worth it when I lay it all on the table and look at my life as a whole.
This sober road is not linear and it may take a few tries of abstinence and relapse before recovery sticks. I am not saying it is okay to relapse but it is par for the course for a lot of people.
When drinking or using becomes habitual it is very hard to retrain ourselves out of that habit but we do it and it becomes easier with time.
We all have today. Just today.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 1,598
Originally Posted by SnazzyDresser
These are weighty questions you're asking yourself. They cut right to the heart of what it is to be alive, what it means to be happy or suffer, whether it actually means anything to begin with. A huge advantage to being sober for me, of choosing to undergo this difficult ongoing process, is that I now get to wrestle with hard existential questions like those with a clear head. And that's the only way they can ever truly be understood.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 94
It takes time and brining positives into your life. I found it used to be that I relapsed over and over and initially it felt great until I was really ill. I kept sobering up and going back to normal. I made some life changes and have since realised a big part of the problem is that I wasn’t happy in my normal life. Once that changed everything else got better
Member
Join Date: Dec 2020
Location: New England, U.S
Posts: 204
Puck- I wish you well and I hope you are ok. I am approx 100 hours sober and the wisdom in this thread from the many fine people who have responded, brought me to tears this morning. This is hard, you are correct. Life is hard- but there are better days ahead for all of us, if we take the leap of faith that is required in our predicament.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2020
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 67
Originally Posted by nez
For me sobriety was initially hard and even miserable, but with time, it became easier and even fun.
For me drinking was initally easy and even fun, but with time, it became harder and even miserable.
Neither choice is stagnant, they both are progressive. One progresses in a negative direction. The other progresses in a positive direction.
When viewed in that light, I know I finally made the right choice.
For me drinking was initally easy and even fun, but with time, it became harder and even miserable.
Neither choice is stagnant, they both are progressive. One progresses in a negative direction. The other progresses in a positive direction.
When viewed in that light, I know I finally made the right choice.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2020
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 67
Originally Posted by nez
For me sobriety was initially hard and even miserable, but with time, it became easier and even fun.
For me drinking was initally easy and even fun, but with time, it became harder and even miserable.
Neither choice is stagnant, they both are progressive. One progresses in a negative direction. The other progresses in a positive direction.
When viewed in that light, I know I finally made the right choice.
For me drinking was initally easy and even fun, but with time, it became harder and even miserable.
Neither choice is stagnant, they both are progressive. One progresses in a negative direction. The other progresses in a positive direction.
When viewed in that light, I know I finally made the right choice.
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