Five years today
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
Five years today
Hi all
It's been a while since I've been on SR. I almost forgot the date today. It's the evening where I am and I went through the entire day not realising that I am five years sober today.
I felt I needed to come on here and commemorate this day with the community that got me here.
The last five years have been a process of uncovering the real me, under the alcoholism. Getting sober was the first step, it took at least a year to two years to really get that bedded down. The last 3 years have been a further journey into aligning all parts of myself. There was a lot of untangling of the root causes for my drinking. Factor No 1 was my job. I was very attached to the prestige of it, but it was not good for my emotional, mental and spiritual health and that's one of the reasons I drank. I took a severance package this year and with my savings and the payout, I've started a solo business. This is where I get to be the real me ... no more pretending to be somebody else. Fear of not being accepted, fear of judgment from others... I've been working on all of those things that I ran away from with drinking.
I have a stable relationship with a lovely man I met after I got sober. We interact like two adults, respectfully and lovingly. No nights that go south quickly because of my drinking, no waking up with a hangover and wondering what horrible argument we might have had.
I don't compromise these days on what I need to maintain sobriety. I run a lot. That has saved my life too. I don't know if my body chemistry is naturally imbalanced or if I screwed it up with so much booze, but running resets it and I've learned I need it. I ran right through the strict lockdown we had where I live. I'm so glad they allowed outdoor exercise.
I have gone back to read my journal from the first few months of sobriety. I can see what made the difference with this sobriety effort compared to the previous ones. First of all, SR. I came on here, joined a class and posted everyday. I read so much here about people's experiences, and I learned such an incredible amount, which all helped me to understand what I was up against. I wrote up a recovery plan and I really prioritised it, like it was the most important project I have ever committed to. I spoke to my doctor, confessed my drinking to her, lined up a counsellor, admitted to my family I had a problem... I did everything I could think of. I never went to AA but I had the local meeting address, times and days handy in case I thought it would help.
I took no chances. I was finally at a place of being more terrified I'd lose my life to drinking than of facing the rest of it sober. I knew it was just a matter of time before I lost everything to alcohol, and I just didn't want to be that person....
I truly never think of drinking now. I'm not interested in it. It's simply not a part of the life I'm living.
Please keep on trying for those of you starting out on sobriety. Please do not give up. Alcohol is not a necessary part of life at all. The cliche is true ... the real reward of sobriety is getting yourself back.
Finally, SR... I will never ever forget this place. Dee and Anna and all of you, every person in this community who makes it what it is, you all saved my life. Thank you.
It's been a while since I've been on SR. I almost forgot the date today. It's the evening where I am and I went through the entire day not realising that I am five years sober today.
I felt I needed to come on here and commemorate this day with the community that got me here.
The last five years have been a process of uncovering the real me, under the alcoholism. Getting sober was the first step, it took at least a year to two years to really get that bedded down. The last 3 years have been a further journey into aligning all parts of myself. There was a lot of untangling of the root causes for my drinking. Factor No 1 was my job. I was very attached to the prestige of it, but it was not good for my emotional, mental and spiritual health and that's one of the reasons I drank. I took a severance package this year and with my savings and the payout, I've started a solo business. This is where I get to be the real me ... no more pretending to be somebody else. Fear of not being accepted, fear of judgment from others... I've been working on all of those things that I ran away from with drinking.
I have a stable relationship with a lovely man I met after I got sober. We interact like two adults, respectfully and lovingly. No nights that go south quickly because of my drinking, no waking up with a hangover and wondering what horrible argument we might have had.
I don't compromise these days on what I need to maintain sobriety. I run a lot. That has saved my life too. I don't know if my body chemistry is naturally imbalanced or if I screwed it up with so much booze, but running resets it and I've learned I need it. I ran right through the strict lockdown we had where I live. I'm so glad they allowed outdoor exercise.
I have gone back to read my journal from the first few months of sobriety. I can see what made the difference with this sobriety effort compared to the previous ones. First of all, SR. I came on here, joined a class and posted everyday. I read so much here about people's experiences, and I learned such an incredible amount, which all helped me to understand what I was up against. I wrote up a recovery plan and I really prioritised it, like it was the most important project I have ever committed to. I spoke to my doctor, confessed my drinking to her, lined up a counsellor, admitted to my family I had a problem... I did everything I could think of. I never went to AA but I had the local meeting address, times and days handy in case I thought it would help.
I took no chances. I was finally at a place of being more terrified I'd lose my life to drinking than of facing the rest of it sober. I knew it was just a matter of time before I lost everything to alcohol, and I just didn't want to be that person....
I truly never think of drinking now. I'm not interested in it. It's simply not a part of the life I'm living.
Please keep on trying for those of you starting out on sobriety. Please do not give up. Alcohol is not a necessary part of life at all. The cliche is true ... the real reward of sobriety is getting yourself back.
Finally, SR... I will never ever forget this place. Dee and Anna and all of you, every person in this community who makes it what it is, you all saved my life. Thank you.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 1,068
Originally Posted by MissPerfumado 
Finally, SR... I will never ever forget this place. Dee and Anna and all of you, every person in this community who makes it what it is, you all saved my life. Thank you.
Congratulations! A thought for your consideration. Could you please make it a point to visit the SR forums periodically and give your encouragement? SR helped you when you needed it most. If all the successful old timers like you occasionally came back and posted it would give the rest of us a lot of hope and encouragement.
Thanks!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,540
Miss P. ❤️
If only I'd stuck it out with you back then I'd have 5 years chalked up myself. But it was not to be, and regret a waste, unless used for change. I'm doing that now, and will have 12 months this coming Thursday, 17th December.
This time it is real for me and the struggle has finally ceased, choosing now to to embrace life, rather than deny it. You have been a part of my journey Miss P, and I'll never forget you.
Want to thank you for all you gave me back those 5 years. Your kindness, your care, your intelligence. Umm, your patience
. And we had fun too. We called our class the "NoBenders" if I recall?
You have made remarkable, wonderous change in your life Miss P. I am so very happy for you.
Thank you for everything.
Your old mate, Steely
If only I'd stuck it out with you back then I'd have 5 years chalked up myself. But it was not to be, and regret a waste, unless used for change. I'm doing that now, and will have 12 months this coming Thursday, 17th December.
This time it is real for me and the struggle has finally ceased, choosing now to to embrace life, rather than deny it. You have been a part of my journey Miss P, and I'll never forget you.
Want to thank you for all you gave me back those 5 years. Your kindness, your care, your intelligence. Umm, your patience
. And we had fun too. We called our class the "NoBenders" if I recall?You have made remarkable, wonderous change in your life Miss P. I am so very happy for you.
Thank you for everything.
Your old mate, Steely
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,100
Congratulations on 5 years! Such an uplifting post and I like that you showed the realistic side, that this is a process that can take years.
Personally, I have only achieved about 1/4 of what I hoped to achieve so far in my first year. If I were not educating myself on here I'd probably be depressed about that right now. But instead, I feel grateful that for the fact I managed to stay sober. I think year two is going to be a major growth year as far as goals go.
Again, congratulations and thanks for sharing. Posts like yours helps me stay on track.
Personally, I have only achieved about 1/4 of what I hoped to achieve so far in my first year. If I were not educating myself on here I'd probably be depressed about that right now. But instead, I feel grateful that for the fact I managed to stay sober. I think year two is going to be a major growth year as far as goals go.
Again, congratulations and thanks for sharing. Posts like yours helps me stay on track.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
congratulations, MissP!!! And it's great to hear from you and hear such a great report!
Running.... ahh, yes. I had lost that over the past couple years and this year (year 7) I also started a solo business and I encountered a lot of challenge. I'd not been coming around SR, and that was just one of the sneaky symptoms of not tending to my personal spiritual development enough.
Everything was going really well in terms of sobriety - but I chose to use cannabis, casually at first..... allowing that back in and not tending my recovery or my spiritual self led me further and further into patterns of addictive behavior with cannabis.
I stayed sober from alcohol, but as I've been working to leave cannabis behind I've been untangling the web of truths over the past year or two and seeing the patterns of getting comfortable in my not drinking and my sobriety being on 'auto pilot' - and how that led not just to cannabis use but to roots of negative things to begin growing in me.
I hope you'll consider joining back into the SR community flow on the regular..... because I'm personally reminded of how important it is for me, and because I'm betting it probably is for you also.... and I know there are many others out there who still suffer, for whom our stories and our service may be life-saving.... and those very same people may indeed one day save OUR lives. We're forever at risk. But more importantly, we're forever given the opportunity as alcoholics and addicts to remain dedicated to recovery and living our best lives.
Running.... ahh, yes. I had lost that over the past couple years and this year (year 7) I also started a solo business and I encountered a lot of challenge. I'd not been coming around SR, and that was just one of the sneaky symptoms of not tending to my personal spiritual development enough.
Everything was going really well in terms of sobriety - but I chose to use cannabis, casually at first..... allowing that back in and not tending my recovery or my spiritual self led me further and further into patterns of addictive behavior with cannabis.
I stayed sober from alcohol, but as I've been working to leave cannabis behind I've been untangling the web of truths over the past year or two and seeing the patterns of getting comfortable in my not drinking and my sobriety being on 'auto pilot' - and how that led not just to cannabis use but to roots of negative things to begin growing in me.
I hope you'll consider joining back into the SR community flow on the regular..... because I'm personally reminded of how important it is for me, and because I'm betting it probably is for you also.... and I know there are many others out there who still suffer, for whom our stories and our service may be life-saving.... and those very same people may indeed one day save OUR lives. We're forever at risk. But more importantly, we're forever given the opportunity as alcoholics and addicts to remain dedicated to recovery and living our best lives.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Thanks MissPerfumado. I remember your posting in the Health and Fitness section in your "early days". Exercise is such an important part of this and I'm still on the bike regularly.
Congratulations on five years - that is quite an accomplishment. It was really great to read your post and hear that you are doing well, and the approach you used. Thanks for that.
I made it more than 3 years, then got careless with my sobriety after relationship stress and started drinking again on and off. Back to it again. Best of luck, drop by once in a while!
Congratulations on five years - that is quite an accomplishment. It was really great to read your post and hear that you are doing well, and the approach you used. Thanks for that.
I made it more than 3 years, then got careless with my sobriety after relationship stress and started drinking again on and off. Back to it again. Best of luck, drop by once in a while!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,154
Originally Posted by MissPerfumado
Hi all
It's been a while since I've been on SR. I almost forgot the date today.
It's been a while since I've been on SR. I almost forgot the date today.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
Originally Posted by AAPJ
Miss P
Congratulations! A thought for your consideration. Could you please make it a point to visit the SR forums periodically and give your encouragement? SR helped you when you needed it most. If all the successful old timers like you occasionally came back and posted it would give the rest of us a lot of hope and encouragement.
Thanks!
Congratulations! A thought for your consideration. Could you please make it a point to visit the SR forums periodically and give your encouragement? SR helped you when you needed it most. If all the successful old timers like you occasionally came back and posted it would give the rest of us a lot of hope and encouragement.
Thanks!
All up, yes, it's a good suggestion and I'll do that from now on.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
Originally Posted by Steely
Miss P. ❤️
If only I'd stuck it out with you back then I'd have 5 years chalked up myself. But it was not to be, and regret a waste, unless used for change. I'm doing that now, and will have 12 months this coming Thursday, 17th December.
This time it is real for me and the struggle has finally ceased, choosing now to to embrace life, rather than deny it. You have been a part of my journey Miss P, and I'll never forget you.
Want to thank you for all you gave me back those 5 years. Your kindness, your care, your intelligence. Umm, your patience. And we had fun too. We called our class the "NoBenders" if I recall?
You have made remarkable, wonderous change in your life Miss P. I am so very happy for you.
Thank you for everything.
Your old mate, Steely
If only I'd stuck it out with you back then I'd have 5 years chalked up myself. But it was not to be, and regret a waste, unless used for change. I'm doing that now, and will have 12 months this coming Thursday, 17th December.
This time it is real for me and the struggle has finally ceased, choosing now to to embrace life, rather than deny it. You have been a part of my journey Miss P, and I'll never forget you.
Want to thank you for all you gave me back those 5 years. Your kindness, your care, your intelligence. Umm, your patience
. And we had fun too. We called our class the "NoBenders" if I recall?You have made remarkable, wonderous change in your life Miss P. I am so very happy for you.
Thank you for everything.
Your old mate, Steely
The time in the December class is etched in my memory, when I go back and read my journal (which is really a collection of my daily posts), it's like watching a movie I've seen many times. That 'me' was like a baby giraffe, testing out new legs. I definitely remember the NoBenders name you came up with...
12 months is fantastic - 5 years or 1 year, the important thing is to be sober today and keep moving forward everyday with a commitment to be sober. I know you've had lots of sober time in the last few years and that time counts. We reset the clock for accountability, but we learn something with each effort.
x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
Originally Posted by Sober45
Congratulations on 5 years! Such an uplifting post and I like that you showed the realistic side, that this is a process that can take years.
Personally, I have only achieved about 1/4 of what I hoped to achieve so far in my first year. If I were not educating myself on here I'd probably be depressed about that right now. But instead, I feel grateful that for the fact I managed to stay sober. I think year two is going to be a major growth year as far as goals go.
Again, congratulations and thanks for sharing. Posts like yours helps me stay on track.
Personally, I have only achieved about 1/4 of what I hoped to achieve so far in my first year. If I were not educating myself on here I'd probably be depressed about that right now. But instead, I feel grateful that for the fact I managed to stay sober. I think year two is going to be a major growth year as far as goals go.
Again, congratulations and thanks for sharing. Posts like yours helps me stay on track.
In the first year, maintaining sobriety was the main goal for me. In the second year, I did achieve some important goals, professionally and financially. The third and fourth years were big years of change and I was struggling with trying to find a more meaningful life. The thing is, after the time of physical and mental healing which were the first 2 years or so, the challenges morphed into living - simply really living as well as I could. I had no thoughts of wanting to drink because it wasn't part of my reality to drink, I focussed on trying to create the best life I could for myself.
I'm still a work in progress. There is no ultimate goal with sobriety, I found. It becomes about living life, without the attitude that it is something to escape from.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
Originally Posted by FreeOwl
congratulations, MissP!!! And it's great to hear from you and hear such a great report!
Running.... ahh, yes. I had lost that over the past couple years and this year (year 7) I also started a solo business and I encountered a lot of challenge. I'd not been coming around SR, and that was just one of the sneaky symptoms of not tending to my personal spiritual development enough.
Everything was going really well in terms of sobriety - but I chose to use cannabis, casually at first..... allowing that back in and not tending my recovery or my spiritual self led me further and further into patterns of addictive behavior with cannabis.
I stayed sober from alcohol, but as I've been working to leave cannabis behind I've been untangling the web of truths over the past year or two and seeing the patterns of getting comfortable in my not drinking and my sobriety being on 'auto pilot' - and how that led not just to cannabis use but to roots of negative things to begin growing in me.
I hope you'll consider joining back into the SR community flow on the regular..... because I'm personally reminded of how important it is for me, and because I'm betting it probably is for you also.... and I know there are many others out there who still suffer, for whom our stories and our service may be life-saving.... and those very same people may indeed one day save OUR lives. We're forever at risk. But more importantly, we're forever given the opportunity as alcoholics and addicts to remain dedicated to recovery and living our best lives.
Running.... ahh, yes. I had lost that over the past couple years and this year (year 7) I also started a solo business and I encountered a lot of challenge. I'd not been coming around SR, and that was just one of the sneaky symptoms of not tending to my personal spiritual development enough.
Everything was going really well in terms of sobriety - but I chose to use cannabis, casually at first..... allowing that back in and not tending my recovery or my spiritual self led me further and further into patterns of addictive behavior with cannabis.
I stayed sober from alcohol, but as I've been working to leave cannabis behind I've been untangling the web of truths over the past year or two and seeing the patterns of getting comfortable in my not drinking and my sobriety being on 'auto pilot' - and how that led not just to cannabis use but to roots of negative things to begin growing in me.
I hope you'll consider joining back into the SR community flow on the regular..... because I'm personally reminded of how important it is for me, and because I'm betting it probably is for you also.... and I know there are many others out there who still suffer, for whom our stories and our service may be life-saving.... and those very same people may indeed one day save OUR lives. We're forever at risk. But more importantly, we're forever given the opportunity as alcoholics and addicts to remain dedicated to recovery and living our best lives.
I am glad you managed to come to the realisation about cannabis. Any time we as addicts begin to rely on something to escape the world, that's when we get into trouble. Reading your posts has helped me so much over the years, and recently your honesty about cannabis has been a good warning against complacency and other addictions that can develop. All the best with the business ... I will be around here a fair bit more as you suggest.
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