Sober45

Got on the treadmill this morning and went really hard...it felt good. Last year, when I was still drinking, I used to break down in tears every time. It was really strange. I'd get on the treadmill, turn on my music, and start crying when my blood started pumping. Like I had no control over it. I was like it for all of 2019, probably longer.

The only change is I don't drink. Now I know, it was the alcohol causing me to be that way.

For me, noticing and remembering the changes is a lot of work. But, I am so solid in my recovery right now it's ridiculous! lol

If you're in early recovery or planning to stop, makes notes because it can make all the difference.

Anna

I'm glad you're feeling good, Sober45.

advbike

Fantastic Sober45!

Great job of focusing on the positives. I could do better at that..

Sober45

Thank you I just wanted to make this post because the relapse stories on SR have made me realize just how easy it can be to forget the misery of alcoholism. The work will never end and I’m ok with that. A good life is earned.

least

One of the subtle changes I noticed was much less drama in my life. I feel at peace now, and no longer 'living on the edge', hanging on by my fingernails.

Bekindalways

Sober45, that is an interesting effect of drinking and not drinking. How long of a time period was it in which you would cry exercising?

Stay that sober course!

Sober45

When my adrenaline got going I’d start crying. Not for long though. But I cried more at everything. My emotions in general were out of whack. Exaggerated. I’m still an emotional empath and somewhat of a drama queen but overall I’m solid these days

Vincent484

I wake up at five for work, sometimes after three or four hours of sleep, and feel good after my first cup of coffee.

I used to wake up at 1pm for work at 3pm after a night of drinking and feel like I had gotten run over by a truck the entire shift.

Vincent484

Also....I almost never even think about booze when I'm sober. When it's in my system, it's basically all I think about.

SweatyHands

Well said. When I think about how little time it takes to get a bottle and start pouring it in my throat, it reinforces why I work every day to not find that option acceptable. I still don’t remember anything from the first two days of my relapse last year, including the initial trip to the liquor store. If it can be so automatic that I can’t recall the steps leading up to that trip, I have to focus on why I’m doing what I’m doing. Obviously, the big one is that if I drink, I die. But the less severe repercussions are me turning into a filthy little child who can’t take care of himself. If I ever have to have loved ones stay with me in my house to make sure I don’t die, it’s not going to be because of my choice of a beverage.

ZIP

Very nice work.
I'm a big proponent of personal effort to achieve success.
If you want to be sober...do sober.

BeABetterMan

Sober, your post is timely. Today I was on a jog and paused for a minute. I was breathing hard, catching my breath (still building stamina), and remembered back to the days after my benders when I would struggle to breathe. Not due to activity, my body was simply shutting down. It also got me thinking about when I was struggling to breathe in a jail cell made for two people, but there were 6 of us in there for 14 hours. One guy was kicking heroin, one guy was drunk, another guy had both hands bandaged and was going on about how he’d killed his roommate.

The only difference with my jog vs struggling to breathe after a bender and struggling to breathe in jail —- alcohol. The difference was alcohol. Today I took note as well.

Vindawgs

Hey Sober

What a great story. Glad to hear your exercising is leveling out. I'm still not there. During my binging days, I was doing crossfire. I dont know what caused it, but I eventually hit a brick wall and now I can't go back. I stopped training for 8 months when I started sobriety and I was mentally incapable to work out. Now for over a month I have been back at it and trying to get my body and mind back into the training. I've been doing the treadmill in the morn. I'm up to 10 mins and doing around 10 minute warm ups before the run. It sure feels good. Wishing you the best. Keep at it 💪 👍🏻