too attached to my apartment?
 

Hi there maybe this has nothing to do with my drug addiction but the attachment can be addictive. Yesterday, I found out that our landlord told us we can't renew the lease. This apartment was great was a little cheap had new appliances, central AC etc. it felt like a broke up with a person. its crazy. it felt so bad and still feels bad. is it normal to feel too attached to an apartment and how to overcome this.

It's just material, babe :) I moved so much in my life, between apartments, cities, and countries. You'll get over it and who knows, maybe it's a beginning for something new, the excitement of building your new nest. Accept what you can't change or control and stay positive. Being healthy and sane is so much more important :) Hugs.

Hi Alexloaiza - welcome back :)

I know its very painful to leave a place you love. It was more than just a material thing to me.
In 2014 I was forced to move out of my beach side apartment - Iiving by the beach had been a dream for a long time.

I didn't think I'd ever find a place I cared about as much - but I did.

I hope you will too.

Its just one of the downsides of renting that sometimes we might have to move.

D

I don't know if you are TOO attached, but you definitely do seem attached, and probably for a good reason. But it's time to move on whether you want to or not. I know this is not what you want, but life is full of stuff we don't want, can't have, or can't afford.

Change is not always easy especially when it’s a homes that adds to our sense of security Give yourself some time to greave, it’s normal. When you’re ready you can chose to focus on all the possibilities for your next home. Who knows, it may even be better:)

It's tough to let go of a place when we're not the ones making the decision.....

I think that's probably a challenge for us in particular, as we who have addiction in our lives often also have a number of underlying or related challenges in our mental-emotional-spiritual lives that can definitely be triggered by losing our sense of place, being forced to change....

Is it 'normal'? I mean, what IS normal? What ISN'T normal?

If you're a human and you're experiencing it.... it's pretty normal.

Maybe you can find the goodness in it, the excitement of the unknown, a new opportunity to ask yourself what sort of a place best suits the YOU who you are becoming..... maybe you can seek the silver lining intentionally and find this becomes a welcome thing, even as it's a loss.

I was a military wife for more than 22 years, so attachment quickly loses its sheen. Homes, apartments, friends, furniture all come and go like the changing winds. The upside to so many moves is that I have learned to be resilient.

Sense of place is really important, especially if it reinforces values we find important - a particular location, a beautiful view, a style of home, etc.. but it's important to realize you can find the same thing somewhere else. I tend to move every few years for a change of pace, different climate, etc and even though it is a lot of work I always get excited in a new place. For others who are adverse to change this can be difficult. In that case look for something more similar to what you had but with an upgrade. Use it as an opportunity to solve whatever you found lacking where you were before.

I recently sold my beloved home of 28 years and moved to a different state. I felt terribly bereaved for the first few months, but gradually began to feel better. Then just yesterday I heard from a former neighbor about how much the new owners were loving the place. My reaction surprised me -- it was exactly like hearing about an ex-lover and her new beau, and how in love they were.

Attachment is attachment, whether it's to a dwelling, another human, or a bottle. To me, telling someone to "just get over" feeling an attachment to a place is like telling an alcoholic to "just get over" the compulsion to drink. Your brain doesn't know the difference. In either case, the solution is the same -- time, effort, and the development of new, healthier attachments to replace the old ones.

Attachment to the good things in our lives is perfectly normal, but most things change one way or another. It's not addiction to appreciate and not want to lose good things, and a home is very important for everyone. I've never been very attached to an apartment (maybe because I never really loved any of mine that much so far), but feel a bit similarly about the city where I live and loved dearly before the pandemic. I moved around a lot and this city was the first place where I really felt like home and planned to settle down here for a very long time. Now I am questioning it and contemplating moving...

It's annoying to be forced to lose many of the things I enjoyed so much before, but the situation may be a bit similar to your apartment thing - who knows what comes next? Maybe an even better phase or/and place? In this sense I very much agree with the other posters above who said moving might open up an equally valuable, or perhaps even better, era and condition? Maybe it's also useful to know now what sorts of things you appreciated so much - can look for similar or improved versions in the future. I personally would not compare this to breaking an addiction or a healthy breakup in a relationship even if it's uncomfortable. Having a good home wasn't destructive for you, I'm guessing... probably more the opposite :)

Thanks all. very helpful advises. I feel better about this

Why wouldn't you have strong feelings for a place that was your home? A home that is no longer available to you, that is essentially being taken from you?

Working through the loss of people, places, and things -- as well as such things as a slow decline in good health and physical and cognitive functioning -- can be painful, but it doesn't preclude us from planning for a slightly or majorly different future. Maybe even a better one? It's alright not to know.

Making a decision to just "let things go" doesn't work and only delays the process. A form of resistance. Acknowledging the extent of the loss and the intensity of the feelings attached to it might help.

There is no such thing as rules or a user’s manual when it comes to separating from the things we love. We grieve differently, we don’t all express love in the same way, and we struggle in different ways as well.

You’re the boss, Alex.

A turn in the road that wasn't expected may take you to a better place then you thought you were going. Have faith - you can get through this!