Meraviglioso

I saw this on Facebook and it really hit home. Do what you can do, keep trying but make it easy on yourself.

RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE.
"When I was at one of my lowest (mental) points in life, I couldn’t get out of bed some days. I had no energy or motivation and was barely getting by.
I had therapy once per week, and on this particular week I didn’t have much to ‘bring’ to the session. He asked how my week was and I really had nothing to say.
“What are you struggling with?” he asked.
I gestured around me and said “I dunno man. Life.”
Not satisfied with my answer, he said “No, what exactly are you worried about right now? What feels overwhelming? When you go home after this session, what issue will be staring at you?”
I knew the answer, but it was so ridiculous that I didn’t want to say it.
I wanted to have something more substantial.
Something more profound.
But I didn’t.
So I told him, "Honestly? The dishes. It's stupid, I know, but the more I look at them the more I CAN’T do them because I’ll have to scrub them before I put them in the dishwasher, because the dishwasher sucks, and I just can’t stand and scrub the dishes.”
I felt like an idiot even saying it.
What kind of grown-ass woman is undone by a stack of dishes? There are people out there with *actual* problems, and I’m whining to my therapist about dishes?
But, my therapist nodded in understanding and then said:
“RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE.”
I began to tell him that you’re not supposed to, but he stopped me.
“Why the hell aren’t you supposed to? If you don’t want to scrub the dishes and your dishwasher sucks, run it twice. Run it three times, who cares?! Rules do not exist, so stop giving yourself rules.”
It blew my mind in a way that I don’t think I can properly express.
That day, I went home and tossed my smelly dishes haphazardly into the dishwasher and ran it three times.
I felt like I had conquered a dragon.
The next day, I took a shower lying down.
A few days later, I folded my laundry and put it wherever the **** they fit.
There were no longer arbitrary rules I had to follow, and it gave me the freedom to make accomplishments again.
Now that I’m in a healthier place, I rinse off my dishes and put them in the dishwasher properly. I shower standing up. I sort my laundry.
But, at a time when living was a struggle instead of a blessing, I learned an incredibly important lesson:
THERE ARE NO RULES.
RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE!!!"
Author unknown

tomls

I like that Mera! Thank you!

gypsytears

I’ve read that before, thanks for sharing. I get the sentiment but the trouble for me is, we don’t have a dishwasher and I’m not washing those dishes twice by hand .

saoutchik

I get it. There is much more to that advice than meets the eye. I am forever giving myself deadlines to do things that don't require deadlines. The idea originally was (back when I was drinking) to get some important but unappealing task out of the way so it wasn't hanging over me for hours or days and I could drink. I no longer drink but I still slip into the habit of putting pressure on myself for no reason. I think that comes from the same root as your dishes issue.

Good insight thanks.

Meraviglioso

Wahhhh! I am fortunate to have a dishwasher, it helps because my kitchen is so tiny it would be hard to find a place to put all the washed dishes while they dry!

One thing I don't have is a clothes drier, not very common here in Italy. I don't mind hanging my clothes to dry, though in the winter it takes days, but then I have to iron everything which is my least favourite chore of all time!

gypsytears

We have a tiny kitchen too! And I have so many kitchen things it looks like the set of Iron Chef or a Williams Sonoma store. I keep most on racks in the basement. Counter space is non existent so I have a drying rack in one side of a double sink. I wash and dry and clean up each project as necessary to move on. You should see the beautiful disaster that occurs with holiday cooking or canning. I love to cook though and dishes are part of it. Even when my four children were young and everyone was home we did not use a dishwasher although I had one. Cooking & cleaning are my therapy.

I also hang clothes! In summer they go outside to dry but in winter I have wooden clothes racks in the basement. It’s warmer down there than upstairs and they usually dry overnight. Plus the washer & dryer are down there so it’s easy and not much of a chore. I do not iron unless absolutely required lol.

The dishes & laundry are meditative to me.

I just want to add, I follow lots of your threads and wanted you to know I support you .

least

That is good advice. Puts it in a way that's easy to understand. Thanks!