Day 2 - Just looking for some support
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 11
Day 2 - Just looking for some support
Hi all...
I've been reading a lot of your posts which have been really helpful but im just struggling with the whole routine side of things - Overall im feeling pretty good (a little anxious but not intense withdrawals which I have experienced before) im guessing due to the fact I've been having more sober days here and there...Anyway, on a normal day I can distract myself quite well and have plenty of tools in place but when im working late shifts its always in my head that I need to get to the off license before it closes etc especially now because they close at 8pm in the UK right now and my evening shift doesn't finish till 10 so im always slotting in a trip to the shop somewhere along my way...
Im hoping to reach out here more for support and also to reply to others and offer any advice/support that I can.
I'd like to get more into my story eventually but right now its just early days and getting through the urges etc...Would appreciate any feedback that you guys have to offer
Also to add to what I've previously mentioned - I know im not going to drink, atleast for today (in my head) but I know how easy it is to give it one more day etc...Im commited to making this change and I know I can do it. I've made some serious milestones this year and I dont want any more set backs or reasons to lose the progress I've made.
Thanks everyone
I've been reading a lot of your posts which have been really helpful but im just struggling with the whole routine side of things - Overall im feeling pretty good (a little anxious but not intense withdrawals which I have experienced before) im guessing due to the fact I've been having more sober days here and there...Anyway, on a normal day I can distract myself quite well and have plenty of tools in place but when im working late shifts its always in my head that I need to get to the off license before it closes etc especially now because they close at 8pm in the UK right now and my evening shift doesn't finish till 10 so im always slotting in a trip to the shop somewhere along my way...
Im hoping to reach out here more for support and also to reply to others and offer any advice/support that I can.
I'd like to get more into my story eventually but right now its just early days and getting through the urges etc...Would appreciate any feedback that you guys have to offer
Also to add to what I've previously mentioned - I know im not going to drink, atleast for today (in my head) but I know how easy it is to give it one more day etc...Im commited to making this change and I know I can do it. I've made some serious milestones this year and I dont want any more set backs or reasons to lose the progress I've made.
Thanks everyone
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Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 11
Originally Posted by Meraviglioso 
Hi, good for you for making this commitment. What can you to get to 8pm without popping out to the shop? Is there any project at work you could tackle to keep you very busy?
Thank you for your reply...Im a courier ATM so im only back in store for a half an hour break, the rest of the time im on the road so I pass many places. Todays my first shift since starting the withdrawal from alcohol so im just finding it hard to fall out of the habit because its still so early. I know only I can control my actions and I have no intentions of walking into the off license - I will be going home without buying any alcohol...Just gonna have to distract myself and socialise with the other couriers and also chatting on here. Its almost just a fear of knowing they close at 8 and then thats it but its also a comfort in some ways too. I know all the reasons why not to drink but I just need to remember them, think about them and play the tape forwards. Another night of drinking is pointless.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
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Congratulations on Day 2! Fantastic!
You sound very motivated to make this work, and you don't need to worry about losing any progress you've made in your life. You can make this your last Day 2.
You sound very motivated to make this work, and you don't need to worry about losing any progress you've made in your life. You can make this your last Day 2.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Hmm, yes that is difficult then if you are out and about but it is possible. Chatting on here or with other drivers is a good idea. I know what you mean about the 8pm cutoff. Here the times are different but I remember hitting a shop to get another bottle or ordering a pizza and a bottle of wine for delivery just to make sure I had more in the house. Sometimes I would have already had my fill but it made me very anxious to be without.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: NC
Posts: 5,157
Old habits are hard to break. Especially when addiction is involved.
The more days you break the cycle the easier it becomes.
When the urge strikes, play it forward, get some ice cream, chocolate, post here, whatever it takes. Eventually it will go away.
The more days you break the cycle the easier it becomes.
When the urge strikes, play it forward, get some ice cream, chocolate, post here, whatever it takes. Eventually it will go away.
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
2 days is wonderful, Waterfall! It's so hard in the beginning, yet you're doing it.
I drank for decades & felt very strange & restless when I quit. (Even though I was thrilled to be free.) I felt entirely different at 2 mos. compared to 2 days. Be patient with yourself. You are healing. I hope knowing better days are coming will encourage you.
I drank for decades & felt very strange & restless when I quit. (Even though I was thrilled to be free.) I felt entirely different at 2 mos. compared to 2 days. Be patient with yourself. You are healing.
I hope knowing better days are coming will encourage you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 94
Hey,
so in the uk you can access free support through the nhs.
If you just google nhs alcohol support centre it should come up. Not sure if it counts as advertising as it’s on the healthcare system but if you do want to look it up and SR admin are happy I can let you know the name of the organisation.
so in the uk you can access free support through the nhs.
If you just google nhs alcohol support centre it should come up. Not sure if it counts as advertising as it’s on the healthcare system but if you do want to look it up and SR admin are happy I can let you know the name of the organisation.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: North East Scotland
Posts: 487
Hey,
Well done on day 2, I feel your pain, Day2 for me also.
Around 4pm is when my jitters / thoughts / av / battle in my head starts ..... it puts me into a very foul mood if I'm not drinking .... and usually lasts until around 8pm, though we're in Scotland so Asda etc.... still sell alcohol until 10pm. I felt it start last night while I was making dinner - really had to dig deep to not run to the shop for wine....the justification I give myself is unbelievable, I'll tell myself anything to have that drink....(as we all have done).
I wish it wasn't this hard, I wish I could just flip the switch in my head ...... if only it were that easy eh ....
I keep telling myself that this will pass, they're only thoughts (very strong convincing thoughts) but the thought of not waking up tomorrow and feeling the absolute guilt and self hatred has to take over the feeling of wanting to drink....
We can do this ..... keep going .... play it forward is a great piece of advice.....
Here's to day 3 coming along.
Well done on day 2, I feel your pain, Day2 for me also.
Around 4pm is when my jitters / thoughts / av / battle in my head starts ..... it puts me into a very foul mood if I'm not drinking .... and usually lasts until around 8pm, though we're in Scotland so Asda etc.... still sell alcohol until 10pm. I felt it start last night while I was making dinner - really had to dig deep to not run to the shop for wine....the justification I give myself is unbelievable, I'll tell myself anything to have that drink....(as we all have done).
I wish it wasn't this hard, I wish I could just flip the switch in my head ...... if only it were that easy eh ....
I keep telling myself that this will pass, they're only thoughts (very strong convincing thoughts) but the thought of not waking up tomorrow and feeling the absolute guilt and self hatred has to take over the feeling of wanting to drink....
We can do this ..... keep going .... play it forward is a great piece of advice.....
Here's to day 3 coming along.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,169
Originally Posted by WaterfallG
I know im not going to drink, atleast for today (in my head) but I know how easy it is to give it one more day etc...Im commited to making this change and I know I can do it. I've made some serious milestones this year and I dont want any more set backs or reasons to lose the progress I've made.
And this is where "One day at a time" did NOT work for me. I made a monumental step when I moved from "One day" to the ultimate of "Forever." This is the necessary commitment that turned the corner for me. If you're thinking about making it to the liquor store before it closes, so that you will have an emergency bottle to deal with possible cravings, what you are doing is planning for failure. Or if you're thinking you may need to take a drink, but only on a very special occasion, you haven't made that commitment.
When I gave in and took the advice that "recovery was a state of not drinking forever," my planning for failure, cravings, and head games took a back seat. I still had to confront them, but I began confronting them by demolishing them. Planning for failure was off the table. I was planning for success instead. That's what commitment felt like to me. And it was not just another baby step. It was a huge leap.
I admit that it's a little more involved (although not as much as you might think), but this is one tip that I can confidently pass on to others who struggle. We must leave behind our crutches and our nostalgia about alcohol and learn to live totally and completely without that useless dependence. And the reward is a feeling of freedom and confidence in ourselves.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 11
Originally Posted by fishkiller
Old habits are hard to break. Especially when addiction is involved.
The more days you break the cycle the easier it becomes.
When the urge strikes, play it forward, get some ice cream, chocolate, post here, whatever it takes. Eventually it will go away.
The more days you break the cycle the easier it becomes.
When the urge strikes, play it forward, get some ice cream, chocolate, post here, whatever it takes. Eventually it will go away.
Thank you for your advice...Sugary snacks have definitely been super helpful before but i havent been craving them as much this time around for some reason lol - Will definitely keep a wee stash on hand though! Playing the tape forward is definitely one of the main tools I use and will continue to do so
I hope you're well!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 11
Originally Posted by Hevyn
2 days is wonderful, Waterfall! It's so hard in the beginning, yet you're doing it.
I drank for decades & felt very strange & restless when I quit. (Even though I was thrilled to be free.) I felt entirely different at 2 mos. compared to 2 days. Be patient with yourself. You are healing. I hope knowing better days are coming will encourage you.
I drank for decades & felt very strange & restless when I quit. (Even though I was thrilled to be free.) I felt entirely different at 2 mos. compared to 2 days. Be patient with yourself. You are healing.
I hope knowing better days are coming will encourage you.Thank you so much...I really appreciate that! Was a wee bit of a rocky start but heres to day 3
I get very restless when I quit which is why I always used boredom as an excuse to drink but now I'm better prepared and have plenty of tools/distractions to not be able to justify that excuse lol. Patience is definitely key and right now I'm just giving myself the time to get on track and not worry so much about everything else just yet. I have faith that everything will fall into place as long as I'm in the driving seat when it comes to alcohol etc 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 11
Originally Posted by Buttery
Hey,
so in the uk you can access free support through the nhs.
If you just google nhs alcohol support centre it should come up. Not sure if it counts as advertising as it’s on the healthcare system but if you do want to look it up and SR admin are happy I can let you know the name of the organisation.
so in the uk you can access free support through the nhs.
If you just google nhs alcohol support centre it should come up. Not sure if it counts as advertising as it’s on the healthcare system but if you do want to look it up and SR admin are happy I can let you know the name of the organisation.
Thank you for your reply! I've actually sought help/advice before from the nhs including doctors, GPS, mental health practitioners and the community addiction team...Some helpful and some not so much but I had private counselling last year which really helped. I think its more so the habit now and breaking that cycle rather than using it to block feelings/emotions out etc... It is definitely more of a choice now and I cant accept that for myself which is why I'm choosing not to drink. Im sure a lot may surface over the next few weeks, months and years as my body/mind adjusts but should that happen then I know I have the right professional support behind me plus all of you guys here at SR if I need to rant or just chat it out
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 11
Originally Posted by Meraviglioso
How did it go yesterday? Thinking of you!
Thank you so much for your replies yesterday evening! They were very helpful...I made it through and now onto day 3! Not the best sleep but im just happy not to wake up hungover or still intoxicated to an extent! How are you today??
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 11
Originally Posted by ShenzyT
Hey,
Well done on day 2, I feel your pain, Day2 for me also.
Around 4pm is when my jitters / thoughts / av / battle in my head starts ..... it puts me into a very foul mood if I'm not drinking .... and usually lasts until around 8pm, though we're in Scotland so Asda etc.... still sell alcohol until 10pm. I felt it start last night while I was making dinner - really had to dig deep to not run to the shop for wine....the justification I give myself is unbelievable, I'll tell myself anything to have that drink....(as we all have done).
I wish it wasn't this hard, I wish I could just flip the switch in my head ...... if only it were that easy eh ....
I keep telling myself that this will pass, they're only thoughts (very strong convincing thoughts) but the thought of not waking up tomorrow and feeling the absolute guilt and self hatred has to take over the feeling of wanting to drink....
We can do this ..... keep going .... play it forward is a great piece of advice.....
Here's to day 3 coming along.
Well done on day 2, I feel your pain, Day2 for me also.
Around 4pm is when my jitters / thoughts / av / battle in my head starts ..... it puts me into a very foul mood if I'm not drinking .... and usually lasts until around 8pm, though we're in Scotland so Asda etc.... still sell alcohol until 10pm. I felt it start last night while I was making dinner - really had to dig deep to not run to the shop for wine....the justification I give myself is unbelievable, I'll tell myself anything to have that drink....(as we all have done).
I wish it wasn't this hard, I wish I could just flip the switch in my head ...... if only it were that easy eh ....
I keep telling myself that this will pass, they're only thoughts (very strong convincing thoughts) but the thought of not waking up tomorrow and feeling the absolute guilt and self hatred has to take over the feeling of wanting to drink....
We can do this ..... keep going .... play it forward is a great piece of advice.....
Here's to day 3 coming along.
Thank you so much for your reply
How are you doing today?
My AV usually starts a little later between 8 and 10 ish (before the restrictions changed) it can get pretty intense so I understand completely - Im proud of both of us for not giving in yesterday and pushing through stronger to day 3
We've got this for as long as we work hard for it but also remain patient with ourselves. This didnt all happen over night so its not going away quite that easy but I feel better knowing I can reach out here and hopefully try to help others too! Playing it forward has been the most helpful tool for me yet!
Have you tried any meetings etc? Im thinking about doing the SMART meetings again as I found them really helpful before but im open to anything really in terms of networking and being able to support others/recieve support
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 11
Originally Posted by DriGuy
The way we lose the progress we've made is by taking a drink. I know this seems too obvious to even mention, but that drink is where we screw up. It's where you screwed up. Then we spend a lot of time analyzing what caused us to take that drink thinking if we knew why, we wouldn't do it anymore. But the solution is the obvious; Don't take that drink.
And this is where "One day at a time" did NOT work for me. I made a monumental step when I moved from "One day" to the ultimate of "Forever." This is the necessary commitment that turned the corner for me. If you're thinking about making it to the liquor store before it closes, so that you will have an emergency bottle to deal with possible cravings, what you are doing is planning for failure. Or if you're thinking you may need to take a drink, but only on a very special occasion, you haven't made that commitment.
When I gave in and took the advice that "recovery was a state of not drinking forever," my planning for failure, cravings, and head games took a back seat. I still had to confront them, but I began confronting them by demolishing them. Planning for failure was off the table. I was planning for success instead. That's what commitment felt like to me. And it was not just another baby step. It was a huge leap.
I admit that it's a little more involved (although not as much as you might think), but this is one tip that I can confidently pass on to others who struggle. We must leave behind our crutches and our nostalgia about alcohol and learn to live totally and completely without that useless dependence. And the reward is a feeling of freedom and confidence in ourselves.
And this is where "One day at a time" did NOT work for me. I made a monumental step when I moved from "One day" to the ultimate of "Forever." This is the necessary commitment that turned the corner for me. If you're thinking about making it to the liquor store before it closes, so that you will have an emergency bottle to deal with possible cravings, what you are doing is planning for failure. Or if you're thinking you may need to take a drink, but only on a very special occasion, you haven't made that commitment.
When I gave in and took the advice that "recovery was a state of not drinking forever," my planning for failure, cravings, and head games took a back seat. I still had to confront them, but I began confronting them by demolishing them. Planning for failure was off the table. I was planning for success instead. That's what commitment felt like to me. And it was not just another baby step. It was a huge leap.
I admit that it's a little more involved (although not as much as you might think), but this is one tip that I can confidently pass on to others who struggle. We must leave behind our crutches and our nostalgia about alcohol and learn to live totally and completely without that useless dependence. And the reward is a feeling of freedom and confidence in ourselves.
Thank you for your reply
Completely agree with your first statement and I know that now more than ever it is more of a choice for me rather than trying to block out feelings and emotions etc...I hold myself accountable for that which is why I'm adamant that this isn't going to be repetitive.
For me right now the "forever" isn't something I really tend to think about - Not in the early days because everything is still so new and the pressure of forever in any circumstance/scenario is always daunting. Im extremely happy that it worked for you and that it was the thought process you needed though, thats amazing!
Im just quite happy to ride this out and do what I need to do in the moment - If that doesn't work then of course I'll reevaluate and maybe base my sobriety off of a different structure...I think for many of us, deep down we know it is a forever and that we really don't want to and will not drink again - for me it really doesn't change my level of commitment but one day at a time is my main focus for now. Thank you again for all your advice, very insightful and I will definitely keep it in mind
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 11
Originally Posted by Anna
Congratulations on Day 2! Fantastic!
You sound very motivated to make this work, and you don't need to worry about losing any progress you've made in your life. You can make this your last Day 2.
You sound very motivated to make this work, and you don't need to worry about losing any progress you've made in your life. You can make this your last Day 2.
Thank you for your reply
Wee bit of a wobble yesterday but made it through and feeling a little stronger for it today! Day 3 and im feeling really positive and motivated to get things done - Even the small things which is refreshing!
Absolutely agree, patience is definitely key this time around also and im appreciating that
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